Only Second Best.

The weekend wasn't too eventful. Friday, I was supposed to meet Seth at The Beef. What happened was that Kelcie called me earlier that day. She asked if I was gonna be at Danny's for a while. I said that I was planning on staying there until I had to go to dinner. She sounded intrigued by that. I kind of learned my lesson after blowing Denna off to watch a PPV, last year. So, I asked Kelcie if she wanted to join me. She said that she'd love to. Well, she brought Calvin with her. I was fine with that, because he was able to cover his meal. I believe that when a girl dines with a guy, it should be the guy who pays. So, I told Kelcie that I'd cover her meal along with mine. Well, Kelcie ordered a $14.00 meal. I was still able to cover us, but she had to leave the tip. Next Saturday, I'm taking her somewhere. I'm not sure where yet, but I'm covering everything. I'll get into that later. Saturday, all of us just kind of hung out. Sunday, I went up to Mike's cabin with him. He said he goes there to clear his head. His dating life is chaotic. There were like four girls that are all interested, but he has no clue what he wants. I couldn't really help him that much, because I don't exactly have four girls after me. Now, getting back to next Saturday. My parents are leaving for Virginia Beach on Wednesday. That leaves me at the house for a few days. Saturday, I planned on having my boys come up. I don't know why, but I have a bad feeling about this. So far, I have Dan, Chris, Steve, Danny, Calvin, Mike, Kelcie, and Seth coming. I may have found a way to leave Dan's girlfriend, Bridgette out of it, completely. So, the only person that could ruin everyone's good time would be Seth. I think Mike, Dan, and Chris would deal with him if that were the case. I don't know what it is, but I have a bad feeling about this. It could just be that there's no other girl for me to chill with. That's really been bugging me, lately. This is gonna go into last year, a little bit. When Denna was around, I wasn't really alone anymore. Then, she played all these games and left. Well, ever since last year, I don't really wanna be alone anymore. I started hanging out with Kelcie again and according to what I described to Denna, she was interested in me. Then, Kelcie tells me straight-up that she's not interested in a relationship with me, but she wants to be friends. I'm fine with that, but Kelcie does want a relationship. I can understand where she's coming from, but that's not really doing me any favors. It's not just her, either. I'm basically everyone's big brother. Everyone likes hanging out with me, but no one's interested in a relationship even though they all know me. Here's just a couple examples of how I treat women. Kelcie was cold, last Saturday AND this past Friday. On Saturday, I took my dress shirt off and wrapped it around her, because that's all I had. On Friday, I gave her my leather jacket. When we went out for dinner, I opened the door for her, I paid for her meal, I was being a gentleman. I do that for every girl around me. I know Kelcie appreciates me. But, I've been single for a while and I'm trying to find something legit. So far, I've just found girls that like to play games and I end up getting used. At least Kelcie was straight-up with me. I'm just getting a little frustrated. I know that I'm better than half of these assholes out there, but I've got nothing. It can get to be discouraging at times. When I don't try, I do end up finding someone, but they usually play games and I get the worst end of it. When I do try, I don't find anything. I don't fully understand it, but it is what it is. I think that I was just born in the wrong generation. If I had been born back when chivalry and respect were valued, then I'd probably have an easier time finding what I'm looking for. When I was at Mike's cabin, I slept in the same room that Denna and I had, last year. Of course, I was swarmed with memories. Denna said when she saw me after coming home the first time, every memory came to her at once. I think I know what she meant after it did the same to me, last night. Maybe if the future looked a little brighter, I wouldn't be dwelling on the past so much. Keeping my head up is getting harder than it used to be. I used to be able to overlook everything. Now, it's not so easy. All I need is one good day or night and I'll be back to how I was. I just wish that the feeling would stick around. Hopefully, that good day will come soon. I need it badly.