Could Be Better

April wasn't exactly the greatest month. Towards the end of March, Undertaker retired Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania 26. Things at Akraturn are the same as ever. I took Kelcie out on a date. This one differed from the others that I've taken her on. For one thing, I drove and picked her up like I should've done on the others. I paid for everything like I always have just like the others. The big difference is that I asked her out. Unfortunately, there were a lot of things out of my control. Kelcie and I aren't ever gonna date. That's unfortunate, because I know that no one could ever treat her as good as I can. I hung out with her on Thursday. Also, Cody Marshal called me, last week. Him and I had words about Kelcie. He wanted to get back with her and I wasn't allowing it. He's going to leave her alone. I've been spending a lot of time with Robin. She's driving me insane. Her biggest complaint is that she's all alone. There's no boyfriend in her life, no one to love her, and she wants both of those right now. Because I care about Kelcie the way that I do, she won't date me, which is both good and bad for me. Still, she wants to just give up on everything. That's not the way things to go about things. I've been single for years. I've been led on three times. Yet, I keep searching. I'm not giving up. Kelcie was as close as I've gotten so far. It's a shame that nothing further's gonna happen between us. We're still best friends though. It won't be like what happened with me and Ashley. Danny's birthday party was last week. That's part of why I had to deal with Marshal. He was there. I had to act civil, because it was Danny's birthday party. On the plus side, Sam was there. I had to pick her up, but she was there. She's a lot of fun. I wish she were around more often. Danny's birthday party was alright, but his last two were better. Things were a lot better a couple years ago. Hell, things were better TEN years ago. Growing up in the 90's wasn't really that bad at all. Danny, Robin, and I reminisced about all the things we missed from the 90's. TV shows, video games, movies, styles, places we used to go, I'd go back and do it all over again. Things aren't 100% bad here. Hell, I'm having more fun now, than I did in the past four years. I still have goals that I want to reach. Now that this Kelcie thing isn't going any further, I'm gonna get out there and look for that certain person that's out there for me. I'll still hang out with Kelcie, but that's all I'm going to do. When I went to an ECPW show last Saturday, there was this 32 year old woman that used to go to the shows. She was at this one. She's married to one of the wrestlers, but that's not gonna last. That's what she told me. I think she was a little interested in me until she found out I was 24 years old. Still, she's freakin' hot. She'd come over to where I was sitting a few times to scream at the bad guys with me. My friends and I bought her husband's shirt that she designed. When he came out, we were full-fledged "Suicide" fans. This weekend, 2CW's coming to Binghamton again. My boys and I are going, but I still like ECPW better. Keith's now playing a bad guy role. He's loving it. Not to mention he's damn good at it. I've debated about getting into the wrestling business, but I'm still on the ropes about it. I'd rather be a writer. I should really focus more on that. Maybe next week, I'll get back to what I started to write a few months ago. Hopefully, May will be better than April. Lastly, UFC started back up. Chuck Lidell and Tito Ortiz are the coaches. So far, Team Lidell's ahead 4-1. There's still plenty of time though. I'm sure Tito will come back. When they fight after the show is over, I'm not sure who I'm gonna be rooting for. I like them both. Best of luck to both of them.

Storybook Ending

Last week was pretty interesting. Monday, Mike Sisin called me up. He vented a little bit about Kelcie. His main problem is that he no longer wants to play around, so he's looking for someone that feels the same way. On top of that, he wants to get with Kelcie. The problem with that is for one thing, she's still not over that egotistical, manipulative, asshole, Cody. Another thing is that she's not ready to jump in a relationship with anyone. She's tried several times, but because she's not over Cody, they've all failed. Mike and Kelcie have done a few things together, but the problem is that to Kelcie, they meant nothing. To Mike, they meant something. He was irritated that she still won't date him due to the fact that they've hung out for the past two weeks along with everything they did. I'm gonna say this one last time. If anyone has a reason to bitch about not dating Kelcie, it's me. Again, here are the reasons why. I've taken her out to dinner twice, I took her to the movies once, I've had to listen to her talk about Cody 24/7, I've watched her cry about it several times, and when everyone else was against her, I stood by her whenever she needed me. However, I'm not bitching about it. What Mike needs to do, is just accept the fact that they're probably only going to be friends...like her and I are. We headed over there to find that Kelcie was stressed and upset. Kelcie also informed me that although Denna may act all nice when I'm around or talking to her online, she acts differently towards me behind closed doors. That pissed me off a great deal. Here's this girl that has played me, Cory, and that loser ex-husband of hers, and she has the nerve to say that I'm too clingy and annoying. It was her that came back and talked to me. I was perfectly fine not talking to her. What was all that about? Did she just do that to sooth her guilty conscience? Before, I actually did care about Denna and I'll even admit that I felt sorry for her. But, after hearing how freakin' two-faced she really is, that amount of pity is gone. Denna's an immature, stupid, little slut that doesn't know what she wants and is gonna piss off the wrong person someday. This stupid little slut complains about me when she cheated on her husband TWICE??? Hell, I'm ten times better than Denna will ever be. When I get married, I'm not gonna have to worry about my wife cheating on me and she won't have to worry about me either. There will be no divorce. That will be it for both of us. Because Kelcie was upset and I was pissed, Mike suggested hanging out for a bit. So, that's what we did. They ended up going to the cabin, but I stayed in Binghamton. I'm not going there unless it's just Mike and me or if there's another girl there for me to hang out with. Tuesday, Robin called me to ask if she could stay at my place for a night. She wasn't getting along with her mom or Johnny and she felt that she was gonna snap. I asked mom, she said it was fine. Then, I hung out with Kelcie for the rest of the day. We picked up Robin and headed back to my place. Dad came home drunk, talked to Robin a bit, then Robin was arguing with her brother about Johnny. Before I continue, I should mention that Robin works for the state as a notery. She can't say "no" to a job that they give her, because it's considered a felony. With that being said, she told her brother on the phone, "if I go to jail because of that son of a bitch, he's going with me." Dad heard her, took me aside, and got in my face about it. I told him to ignore it. She wasn't doing anything wrong, but he kept glaring at me. So, I glared at him back. It wasn't until Robin explained what she meant that he lightened up a bit. The rest of the night went smoothly. Wednesday and Thursday were nothing special. Friday, I got my haircut and some other things that I needed for the wedding on Saturday. Saturday, I found out that we were going to the actual wedding and then going to my dad's boss's pool party until the reception. The wedding wasn't too bad. The only things I'd have changed, would be the temperature inside the church and the person performing the ceremony. It was incredibly hot in the church and the priestess was boring. She had a solemn tone when she spoke as if she were preaching at a funeral. The pool party wasn't too bad. Dad got in all his cheap shots in on me while we were there, which was fine with me. Whenever we're at family gatherings or parties, he usually brings up all of my short-comings. I thought that he'd do the same at the wedding to which I planned on firing back despite the consequences that would follow. However, to my surprise, he didn't do anything like that. We got there a half hour early. I waited outside for Kelcie. She was a half hour late. Man, she looked incredible. I remember looking at the pictures from Denna's wedding. She looked ordinary. She didn't do anything to look above the norm. Then again, I think she knew deep down that this marriage was gonna fail. This wasn't even Kelcie's wedding, but she put in that extra effort and she looked gorgeous. The dinner was excellent. I took Kelcie around and introduced her to my family and friends. Dad liked her. That's real big, because dad doesn't like too many of my friends. In fact, I can count them on one hand. We danced about six times. She kept thanking me for inviting her. I'm glad she made it. At my cousin, Jamie's wedding, the band sucked, Robin was on my ass about her freakin' dogs, and I had no one to dance with. Basically, that wedding wasn't really that good. At Kacie's wedding, the band was better, no one was on my back, and I had someone to dance with. We had a great time. Being at home for long periods at a time, takes it's toll on me. I start feeling bitter and worthless. At Kacie's wedding, I felt like a million bucks. Both Kelcie and myself had a good time. Kelcie and I just went as friends and that's how it stayed. I don't think anything will change as far as that goes. There aren't too many people trying to get with her anymore. Seth's probably still trying to get with Mandy and Calvin has a girlfriend. I don't see us dating, although I don't think I'd mind it. Personally, I think I was the better choice out of all of them. I don't know what Mike's thoughts are on getting with her. Well, for whoever tries, I just have one thing to say. Beat that, boys. That wedding was out of a fantasy story and nobody's gonna be able to top that. Once again, the guy that has no job and no car has blown by everyone. Someday, someone's gonna be very lucky. Whoever it is, I just hope they deserve it.

Memorial Day Weekend

Sleep was an option, this weekend. I never get enough of it. However, I usually get a decent amount. Well, that wasn't the case for a good portion of the weekend. Thursday, I helped Seth's mom out a little, then Seth and I went to go see Terminator Salvation. We left earlier than we usually would, because it was opening night. We went to see Danny for a little bit. Then, we headed back to the movie theater. However, my phone went off before we went in. Kelcie called me wanting to hang out. She had graduated from BCC that night and she wanted to celebrate. Back in the day, Denna would wanna hang out when there were wrestling PPVs on. I used to blow her off to watch them. Now, look where it got me. I wasn't about to make the same mistake twice. I told Seth to attempt to get a refund for the tickets. He just switched them for the 10:00pm show the next night. We picked up Kelcie and decided to go to the hooka bar. We hung out there for a while, then we went back to The Beef. We hung out with Danny a little bit. I got Kelcie a glass of wine. She's a bit of a light-weight, so it didn't take much to get her buzzing. We took her home, then we took Danny home. I got to play the role of the hero, that night. Kelcie said she didn't wanna drag us away from the movies, but I said it was no big deal. I could hear the appreciation in her voice when I told her that Seth was refunding our tickets. I got another peck on the cheek as a thank you. The next day, I helped Seth's mom prepare for Christian's birthday party. When Seth got out of work, we went to see Terminator Salvation. This time, Mike Sisin called me. We had to save him from his dumb girlfriend, Tiffany. After the movie was over, we came and got him. That's when sleep became very scarce. We were up until 5:00 in the morning. I slept until 3:00 in the afternoon, but Seth had to work at 1:00 in the afternoon. We had plans to go to Tioga Downs to watch UFC 98. We were both tired as hell. Danny, Jay, and Kelcie came along with us. I was watching the event when Kelcie came up to me. She didn't know how to play the slot machines. I started to get up to show her and again, she said that she didn't wanna drag me away from what I was doing. I said it was no big deal and I tried to help her. I eventually grabbed Seth and Danny to help her. Danny stopped after $20.00 and watched the event with me. Jay and Kelcie came over to us. Kelcie asked for a dollar and acted all cute and innocent. "I'll give you a kiss on the cheek," she swooned. Well, because I can hardly say no to any girl, she got what she wanted and I got what I wanted. Actually, she ended up getting another two bucks off me. In return, I got to rub her down when we got back to the house. We got to the house and Danny, Seth, and Jay watched a movie. Kelcie and I hung out downstairs. I rubbed her down and she gave me a back rub. Then, Danny and Jay took the bedroom I usually sleep in. Seth slept in his room. Kelcie and I took the couch. One thing about Kelcie is that she hates being alone. So, she wanted me as close as possible. We positioned ourselves opposite of one another. She said her feet were cold, so I placed them under my shirt. Even when I'm freezing, my body's still warm. She said that was "heavenly." Still, I couldn't really sleep. Eventually, she fell asleep and I temporarily was able to move into a more comfortable position. I don't know how long I slept, but I know it wasn't very long. Well, we all got up at noon. Seth took everybody home. I was with Danny and Jay at his mom's place. They had a cook-out, that day. Danny's family are very nice. There was plenty of food. They told me to come back again. Seth came to get us. He dropped Danny and Jay off, then he took me to the movie theater to meet my friend, Stephanie. We made plans to see Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian. After the movie was over, I said good bye to Steph and had Seth pick me up. Because we didn't sleep very much in the past two nights, Danny let us stay at his place for the night. The minute I got to Danny's, I threw a pillow on the floor and collapsed on it. The rest of them were watching TV. Danny asked if I had seen one of the new episodes of Family Guy. I responded with "don't care," and tried to sleep. Now, before I continue, there's a few things that should be brought to everyone's attention. I've pretty-much spoiled Kelcie rotten for the past month. The reason being is that she's worth it. I've taken her out to dinner twice, I've given her back massages, and I just never say no to her about anything. But, unlike everyone else that I've spoiled, she's shown her appreciation. Also, I have a thing for eyes. Some say that they're a window to the soul. I respect the power that eyes have. They tell the whole story. My two weaknesses with girls are when they give the puppy dog look and when they cry. Kelcie's only given me the puppy dog look twice, but she did it playfully. Alright, now that's been brought to everyone's attention, I can continue. So, I'm trying to sleep, but after being there for only five minutes, I feel something playfully poke my side. I looked up and Kelcie's sitting in the armchair, smiling brightly at me. "Where's my foot massage?" she asked playfully. "You want one?" I asked as I rolled over on my back. She took her flip-flops off and rested her feet on my stomach. When I was a kid, mom and I would watch movies a lot. We'd lay on opposite sides of the couch and she'd ask me to give her foot rubs. Because of this, I eventually became pretty good at giving them. My lady friends have suggested that I made that my profession, but that's not happening. With my luck, some old fat lady would come in wanting one and I'd have no choice, but to massage her. Screw that! However, I haven't heard one complaint to this day. So, I gave Kelcie a foot massage and it hit me that she's really getting used to me spoiling her. She's also becoming very comfortable around me, which is doing wonders for my self-esteem. She thanked me for the foot massage and gave me a big hug, then she left. I finally fell asleep after an hour. Yesterday, I went over to Robin's for yet another bbq. It didn't last long, but Seth had to work, so I hung out with her the rest of the day. Apparently, things have sucked for her too. I promised that I'd come back and hang out with her again real soon. Hanging out with Robin brought me back to how it used to be back in the day. We used to hang out all the time. That also did wonders for my self-esteem. I go back home, tomorrow. Luckily, I only have to be there two days and then I'm leaving again. Danny's son's birthday is Saturday and I'm going bowling with a friend of mine on Friday. So far, things are slowly improving again.

Drinking And Thinking

Both Team USA and Team UK got wins on The Ultimate Fighter. The reason why Mike Bisping didn't make it to the last fight was because he was in a deep sleep. He said that he's been having jet-lag since coming to Vegas. I still give him a lot of credit, though. He said that it was in-excuseable to no-show for a fight. He lived up to his mistake. Unfortunately, Cameron Dollar won his fight and advanced. I really don't like the guy. The other guy from Team USA was running his mouth about how he was gonna knock his opponent's teeth out. Here's the amusing part. It was HIM that had HIS teeth knocked out in the fight. So, Team UK's up 3-2. No surprise there. On Tuesday, it was Cinco de Mayo. Marcy asked me to come drink with her. Cassandra and Alan were up there as well. I think it's the first time that I drank with them that didn't end with them arguing. Overall, it was a lot of fun. I was pretty damn hammered. It's been a while, since I've gotten that drunk. Three shots of tequila, two shots of vodka, and two beers. Thursday, Cory called me. Apparently, history's repeating itself. Last year, things were going great between Denna and I. Then, everyone started getting involved in our business including Bridgette. Everyone was telling everyone what the other said and no one knew who they could trust. After I left for Hancock, it all subsided...completely. Well, it's happening again, but this time, it's happening to Cory. Except he had someone that he could trust. That person was me. I told him that the same thing happened to me and I'd think of a way to stop it. Seriously, though. Why does everybody care what the hell Denna does? I'm not condoning anything that was done in the past two years, but people need to stay the hell out of it. That's part of the reason why Denna and I didn't date officially. She shut down, because everyone was getting involved. I'm pretty-much over it now, but I don't think it's right that they're doing the same thing to Cory. Hopefully, they'll grow the hell up. Friday, Danny, Seth, and I went to the ECPW show. We sat next to one of the wrestler's wives. She was freakin' cool as hell. The show overall, was probably their best one overall. The cage match was definitely better than 2CW's. Saturday was probably the best day. Despite my misgivings, I went through with my party. Steve Clark picked me up, so we could go get Kelcie and meet the others. When we got to Kelcie's place, I saw a girl that looked like Denna come out of the house. At first, I thought it was Denna. Then, as she got closer to the car, I realized that it was actually Kelcie. She looked just like Denna. She looked incredible. Also, I got to see Tyler Blackman and Dilly. I haven't seen those guys in about a year. There were 14 people there all together. Me, Steve, Kelcie, Dan, Chris, Bridgette, D-Squared (other Dan), Michelle, Dilly, Tyler, Seth, Jay, Danny, and Calvin. Seth and Danny's family showed up later, because Danny and Calvin had to work. The rest of us hung out and played a drinking game called three-man. It's like Kings, but it's not as complicated. Kelcie was trying like hell to get me drunk. I was her primary target. I'll get into that in a little bit. The thing that took me by surprise, was that there was no drama. Well...Dan was going through a little dilemma. He wasn't sure if that night should be "the night." He was nervous. It didn't help that everyone was pressuring him into "doing it." So, I pulled him aside and gave him the best advice that I could. I told him to make sure he was doing it for the right reasons. Well, he decided that it was indeed time. I just hope he doesn't end up regretting it later. So, that leaves Chris and I as the only virgins in the group. He'll probably lose his next. Then, there'll only be one. I'm determined to make sure that I'm with the right girl, before I do anything. I'm still sticking with my decision. Today was mother's day. Mom and Dad came back from Virginia Beach, today. I was over at my grandmother's for most of the day. Now, here's what made my entire weekend. Kelcie called me to let me know that she had a great time at my place. She said the same thing last night. She kept thanking me for inviting her. I told her it was my pleasure. Then, she asked if I could hang out, later. That was the original plan. Well, by the time Seth got his dumbass to my place, she had left already. She felt bad that she missed us, but I assured her that it was alright. I'm taking her out to dinner, later during the week. Here's what I don't get. She told me straight-up that she just wants to be friends. But, Thursday she called me, wondering where I was. I told her that I was home. "Nooo," she groaned. She asked if Seth could bring me over to her place. I said that Seth was watching a movie and I apologized that I couldn't hang out with her, that day. Today, she wanted me to come hang out with her. She comes and finds me every Tuesday and Thursday. The way she acted around me the past few weeks gave me the impression that she was interested. But, she said that she just wants to be friends. I'm a bit confused. Even when she was dating Cody, she didn't hang out with me nearly this much. I'm not complaining about it. In fact, it actually makes me feel pretty damn good that she wants to hang out. But, I just don't understand it. Then again, I'm probably one of the best guy friends that she has. I'm always there when she needs me. I always have been. Even when she was angry with me, I was there if she needed me. Sure, I was a bit bitter when she accused me of screaming at her and when she took out all of her frustration on me, but I still would've been there for her. I do that for all of my friends. Maybe she just appreciates me for that. I know that she cares for me to an extent. She hates to see anything but a smile on my face. I'm the same way with her, though. It could be wishful thinking again. I just don't know. When she was dating Cody, I still could've sworn she was looking at me in a particular way. Kind of like how Denna looked at me, back in the day. I'm not gonna push anything, because that could put a stop to her hanging out with me. I'm just gonna continue being her good friend. Whatever happens, happens.

Only Second Best.

The weekend wasn't too eventful. Friday, I was supposed to meet Seth at The Beef. What happened was that Kelcie called me earlier that day. She asked if I was gonna be at Danny's for a while. I said that I was planning on staying there until I had to go to dinner. She sounded intrigued by that. I kind of learned my lesson after blowing Denna off to watch a PPV, last year. So, I asked Kelcie if she wanted to join me. She said that she'd love to. Well, she brought Calvin with her. I was fine with that, because he was able to cover his meal. I believe that when a girl dines with a guy, it should be the guy who pays. So, I told Kelcie that I'd cover her meal along with mine. Well, Kelcie ordered a $14.00 meal. I was still able to cover us, but she had to leave the tip. Next Saturday, I'm taking her somewhere. I'm not sure where yet, but I'm covering everything. I'll get into that later. Saturday, all of us just kind of hung out. Sunday, I went up to Mike's cabin with him. He said he goes there to clear his head. His dating life is chaotic. There were like four girls that are all interested, but he has no clue what he wants. I couldn't really help him that much, because I don't exactly have four girls after me. Now, getting back to next Saturday. My parents are leaving for Virginia Beach on Wednesday. That leaves me at the house for a few days. Saturday, I planned on having my boys come up. I don't know why, but I have a bad feeling about this. So far, I have Dan, Chris, Steve, Danny, Calvin, Mike, Kelcie, and Seth coming. I may have found a way to leave Dan's girlfriend, Bridgette out of it, completely. So, the only person that could ruin everyone's good time would be Seth. I think Mike, Dan, and Chris would deal with him if that were the case. I don't know what it is, but I have a bad feeling about this. It could just be that there's no other girl for me to chill with. That's really been bugging me, lately. This is gonna go into last year, a little bit. When Denna was around, I wasn't really alone anymore. Then, she played all these games and left. Well, ever since last year, I don't really wanna be alone anymore. I started hanging out with Kelcie again and according to what I described to Denna, she was interested in me. Then, Kelcie tells me straight-up that she's not interested in a relationship with me, but she wants to be friends. I'm fine with that, but Kelcie does want a relationship. I can understand where she's coming from, but that's not really doing me any favors. It's not just her, either. I'm basically everyone's big brother. Everyone likes hanging out with me, but no one's interested in a relationship even though they all know me. Here's just a couple examples of how I treat women. Kelcie was cold, last Saturday AND this past Friday. On Saturday, I took my dress shirt off and wrapped it around her, because that's all I had. On Friday, I gave her my leather jacket. When we went out for dinner, I opened the door for her, I paid for her meal, I was being a gentleman. I do that for every girl around me. I know Kelcie appreciates me. But, I've been single for a while and I'm trying to find something legit. So far, I've just found girls that like to play games and I end up getting used. At least Kelcie was straight-up with me. I'm just getting a little frustrated. I know that I'm better than half of these assholes out there, but I've got nothing. It can get to be discouraging at times. When I don't try, I do end up finding someone, but they usually play games and I get the worst end of it. When I do try, I don't find anything. I don't fully understand it, but it is what it is. I think that I was just born in the wrong generation. If I had been born back when chivalry and respect were valued, then I'd probably have an easier time finding what I'm looking for. When I was at Mike's cabin, I slept in the same room that Denna and I had, last year. Of course, I was swarmed with memories. Denna said when she saw me after coming home the first time, every memory came to her at once. I think I know what she meant after it did the same to me, last night. Maybe if the future looked a little brighter, I wouldn't be dwelling on the past so much. Keeping my head up is getting harder than it used to be. I used to be able to overlook everything. Now, it's not so easy. All I need is one good day or night and I'll be back to how I was. I just wish that the feeling would stick around. Hopefully, that good day will come soon. I need it badly.

A Long Weekend.

My weekend actually started on Thursday. Kelcie grabbed me after her class. She brought me over to her place. Seth called me, so we could figure out what was going on for the weekend. Kelcie told me to have him come over. So, he came over and we all went to hang out elsewhere. We ended up at one of Kelcie's friend's places. Then, we all went to the Cyber Cafe for a while. After that, we dropped off Kelcie's friend and went to visit Danny at his work. He got us some drinks and Kelcie, dessert. We all ended up at his place after that. Seth and I stayed the night, but Kelcie went home. Friday, I had lunch with my mom and picked up my suit for Saturday. Danny invited all of us to his sister's 15th birthday. I forget the term for the celebration, but it's one of those formal affairs. Then, I headed back to my house to pack for the weekend. I didn't do much in Candor, but it was relaxing. Saturday, we met Danny at the church. He directed us to the Days Inn hotel, where his parents had booked the banquet room. Speaking of parents, I got a voice message from my dad, informing me that he opened my mail and found out that I owe Cortland and a few other places money. He talked to me the next day and I guess he cooled down, since then, because he didn't bring it up, yesterday. The only problem I have with this is that I really don't need my father opening my mail. The bad part is that I can't reprimand him about it, because he'll flip out. Oh well, he's not on my back about it, so I'm gonna let it go. Around 7:00 at night, there was open bar until an hour before close. The reception was much like one of a wedding. The food was excellent. Danny always bragged about the food, but I never fully believed him. Calvin, (Danny's brother) had invited Kelcie to be his date. If I had invited Kelcie to a family event like that, I'd be by her side for almost all of it. Calvin...he didn't hang around that much. Neither did Cody, but at least he had an excuse. Calvin did dance with her, but apart from that, he wasn't really around her that much. It kind of worked in my favor, because she asked me to dance with her. Seth recorded it on his phone, because he thought my dancing was funny. He's a freakin' moron. I saw the video on his phone and it looked fine. Hell, it looked great. All of us went back to Danny's after the party. We hung out for a little bit, then we went to sleep. Around 9:00 Kelcie, Seth, and I woke up. I sat on the couch next to Kelcie and she rested her head on my lap. If I hadn't moved at some point, she'd probably have fallen asleep on me. On Thursday, she playfully asked when I was gonna take her out on a date. She was only half-serious, though. Then, when her and I were hanging out before Seth showed up, she asked to sit on my lap so "her pants won't get dirty." So, I let her sit on my lap and we just hung out. Anyways, we hung out at Danny's until around 12:30. Kelcie asked for our help with a video project. We said sure and agreed to meet her at her place around 3:30. Ok, here's where it gets amusing. When Seth tries to get with girls, it's like watching a monkey screw a football. He wants to get with Kelcie. When Seth wants to get with a girl, he always does the same thing. First, he tries to impress them by making up a bunch of b.s. He'll also keep calling them, "sweetheart" and "beautiful" running his hand up and down their back. Then, he'll make up some sob story, so they'll pity him. It's really pathetic. I've seen him do this a few times. He tried a new tactic on Sunday. After helping Kelcie with her project, we headed back to his place. Before we finally arrived there, he decided that he wanted to show Kelcie where he wanted to get married someday. That meant taking a trip over to Aaron and Marcy's place. I just shook my head in disbelief. Can you say, TRYING TO HARD? He wanted to take her to meet her dad, so he could return the tux he used on Saturday, but we wasted too much time at Aaron and Marcy's. When we got to his place, his mom did her usual "cockblocking". Except, she didn't really try to cockblock her son. She chose to cockblock me. Now, I could accuse her of trying to make Seth look good, but that's freakin' impossible. When I was downstairs, Seth started his sob story. At first, I thought he was referring to Kelcie's ex-boyfriend, Cody. I thought I heard him say, "he treats you like shit. It really pisses me off sometimes," but I misheard. He was referring to his step-father treating his mother badly. Now, that's not entirely true or false. Scott has been really good to April in the years that I've known them. However, he is starting to do a lot of stupid things. Things that I don't really agree with. Well, Kelcie had homework to do, so she started doing it. Well, Seth wanted to help, so she let him highlight some important things in the articles she was using. I glanced over at the papers Seth was highlighting and it was almost completely pink. "This guy has no freakin' clue what he's doing," I thought to myself. Well, Seth would comment to Kelcie that she's a smart girl and whatnot. He was basically kissing her ass. Don't get me wrong, Kelcie is a smart girl and an absolute sweetheart. But, he was definitely trying too hard. Well, she finally finished at 4:00 in the morning. We all went downstairs and she gave me a massage. Then, I gave her one to return the favor. Seth and I were gonna go to bed in his room, but Kelcie insisted that we all share the bed in the guest room. So, that's what we did. Yesterday, I was talking to Denna online about everything. She said "Kelcie likes you." I was caught off guard with that comment. I asked how she could be so sure and Denna said that she knew when Kelcie was interested in somebody. I'm still not 100% sure if she is, but I'm gonna test the theory. Denna gave me a lot of pointers to help me out. It would certainly explain why Kelcie's been getting really close to me. It would've been too easy to blow Seth out of the water on Sunday. Calvin wasn't around long enough, so the whatever "competition" is out there, it's no threat. But, it's like Danny says. There's only competition in sports. Robin showed up on Monday. I told her about my weekend and how Seth's trying to get with Kelcie. She just laughed and said that Seth was a pig. Then, when I told her about a dream that I had where I beat the hell out of Seth and scream at why he's such a damn failure, she explained what it meant. It actually made a lot of sense. When people like Seth have it so easy and get whatever they want, it irritates me. He just floats on through life without a care in the world. If he wasn't living with his mom and Scott right now, then he wouldn't have any way to "attempt" to impress Kelcie. People like me have to earn whatever we get. I don't like things handed to me. Now, this ties in with Kelcie, because Seth's trying to get with her by showing her things that HE DOESN'T OWN. The whole "meet my family" game was really pathetic. Kelcie deserves better than Seth. Still, she can choose whoever she wants or not at all.

Spring Break.

I left for Orlando on Thursday. Seth's sister drove most (if not all) of the way down. It was her, her friend, Santanna, Seth and me. We got there around 5:30 in the afternoon, Friday. The house that Seth's family rented was freakin' sweet. Saturday, we went to Disney World. I've always wanted to go to Disney World, but I never had the chance until last week. Disney's great, but the prices are ridiculous. On Easter, we went to Typhoon Lagoon, which is a Disney water park. That was pretty cool too. Monday, we were back at Disney. Most of the time, we were at Disney. I'm not really a big fan of rollercoasters, but I went on a few of them while I was there. What I liked mostly about Disney is that it had something for everybody. There was no age barrier. Tuesday, it was raining. So, we didn't go to Disney until around 6:00 at night. Before that, Seth's mother and sister got into it. Later, his mom would flip out on his step-father, which I thought was a little uncalled for, but I kept my mouth shut. So, Tuesday sucked. Wednesday, Seth, Santanna, his sister, and I went to Blizzard Beach, which is another Disney water park. I wasn't really big on this one. I liked Typhoon Lagoon better. After that, we got a 12 pack of beer and hung out at the house. That was relaxing. Later, I watched the Ultimate Fighter. Rob Browning didn't win his fight, so he will not be part of this season. Thank God for that. He's just like his brother. In fact, the guys that had already won the right to stay in the house, called him Junie Browning Jr. Now, Team USA is a full team. I still think the UK's gonna crush these guys, but anything can happen. Thursday, we went to Disney for the last time. We had another family with us. Friday, I left with Seth's step-father. Seth flew home with his mom. So, I was in a van all of Friday. Saturday, we got back around 2:30 in the afternoon. I slept for a little bit, then Cody called me about Danny's surprise birthday party around 5:00. At the time, I told him I was down for it, but I honestly didn't expect to make it. I was dead tired. I woke up around 8:00. I felt well-rested, so I got ready. When I got there, there were a few new faces. Bridgette Buckland was there. Kelcie showed up, later. Bridgette's deathly afraid of Kelcie. So, when Kelcie was calmly talking to Bridgette, she freaked out. Personally, I thought that was hillarious. Because Bridgette freaked out, there was a little bit of drama, but it didn't kill the party. Samantha and Jerimiah were there. It was cool to see them again. Sam hasn't changed at all. Jerimiah hasn't either. Him and I were busting on each other a little bit. I still don't remember meeting Sam, last year. I kind of wish I did. But, then again I was so wrapped up in Denna, that it really wouldn't have mattered anyways. At Cody's birthday party AND Danny's birthday party, Sam kept looking in my direction. I know she's happy with Jerimiah and he's a good guy, so I know it's not an attraction. There's just something about the way she was looking at me. Oh well, I probably won't see her until somebody else's birthday party. Sunday, Seth and I hung out at Danny's again. We stayed there until Monday. On Monday, Cody came over to Danny's and chilled with us. That was pretty-much my vacation. This was exactly what I needed. Ever since Wrestlemania, I've started to feel more like myself. I'm starting to feel as good as I did, last year. Still, if I had the chance to go back just one year, I definitely would. I know I've said that before, but last year was still a lot better than this one. But, things are starting to get better. The same thing happened after Cody's birthday party. That was short-lived. However, I have a feeling that this time, things are gonna get better. When I found out that I couldn't go back to Cortland, I basically stopped caring about pretty-much everything. I used to take a great sense of pride in how I looked, how I conducted myself, my attitude, everything. Well, I just stopped caring about all that. Even when Denna was around, I didn't really put that much effort into myself. Last year, I always made sure I wore cologne. I always wore either a white shirt or a button-up shirt. I put in a lot of effort in my appearance, especially after I had met Denna. Although, she was pretty-much impressed regardless of how I looked. Still, I put in an effort. Especially with the cologne. I even bought a $50 bottle, because I knew she'd love the scent of it. Even when she had left, I still put in an effort. Then, I started feeling sorry for myself and I stopped caring. Now, I'm back to wearing cologne, the shirts, gelling my hair, everything. I found my smile again. Even my personality has improved. There's still a few things that need to be dealt with, but now I'm in the right mind set. I'm back and I'm not going anywhere.

Getting Back On Top

The Ultimate Fighter Season 9: United States vs. United Kingdom started on Wednesday. The UK fighters look pretty dominating. More than half the fights ended with a knee to the jaw. I haven't seen the U.S fighters yet, but my money's on the UK right now. Apparently, Dan Henderson and Rich Franklin have fought to see who's coaching the U.S team. I think Dan Henderson won that fight, but I'm not exactly sure. Friday was a freakin' disaster. Despite my warnings, Mike had Desiree and Bridgette at the cabin. Surprisingly, Bridgette wasn't really that annoying. In fact, she was fine. However, Desiree was both annoying and obnoxious. Things definitely would've been better if she wasn't at the cabin. Although, if Mike hadn't invited both her and his girlfriend, Tiffany to the cabin, there probably wouldn't have been any tension. At one point, Tiffany had enough of Desiree and started screaming at her. Then, she went after her. However, Dan and Chris were there as well. Dan held Tiffany back and I guess Desiree was hiding behind Chris. Seth was also being annoying, but I'm used to it. Before all of that happened, Chris was thinking about things that happened over the summer. Basically, it's similar to the Denna situation, last Spring. Like me, he's sick of getting the short end of the stick. So, the cabin wasn't as great as it was, last year. Saturday, Dan, Chris, Bridgette, and Steve Clarke came over to Seth's place. His parents are in Florida already, so he had the house to himself. We just hung out and watched a couple movies. It was much better than Friday at the cabin. Also, my grudge against Bridgette Taylor dissolved. I can't hold a grudge to save my life anyways. It still weirds me out that she calls us her second family, but I don't have any big issue with her....for now. Sunday was Wrestlemania 25. Before that, I got an unexpected phone call from Kelcie. We talked about everything that's gone down in the past few weeks. All has been forgiven. Her and I hung out, yesterday. She came with us to watch Wrestlemania 25 at Danny's. This time, I was actually able to focus on the matches. Still, it would've been nice to have a repeat of last year. The best part of the entire PPV was Undertaker becoming 17-0. That match with him and Shawn Michaels was probably the best match on the entire PPV. Things are starting to get better. They're not back to the way they were, but there's definitely improvement. I still wish things were like they were in 2008, but that was a one-time deal. Kelcie and I both wish we could go back. Sometimes, there's days I wish I could go back all the way to 2004. The sacrafice would be that I might not meet some of the friends that I have now. I wouldn't know Dan, Chris, Kara, Abby, Robin, Johnny, or anybody. Danny was part of Ashley's life before, so I'd probably still meet him and Cody. Then again, maybe just knowing Cody, would lead to me meeting everybody else. Still, I wouldn't wanna risk it. I don't know what I'd do without those guys. I'm better off with them than without them. The week and overall, the weekend have been better than the others. So, I'm starting to return to acting like myself. Despite what Denna says, I still think that I was changing. Maybe she didn't notice it, but I did. In her defense, she didn't have the same emotions running through her mind, like I did. It doesn't matter now, because I'm acting more like myself. I feel better, I look better, I am better. I should still feel the same way, if not better for the next couple weeks. I have a lot to look forward to. Maybe the rest of this year will be tolerable. Right now, things are looking good.

Last Week Until WrestleMania

Two more weeks and I'll be out of New York State for a while. I'm actually looking forward to it, because this place is definitely taking it's toll on me. Last week wasn't the greatest week, but it wasn't the worst either. Friday, there was a situation. Apparently, this tall guy wearing a black hoodie that said: "poison the well" was trying to pick up Kara and my friend, Amy. Well, I wasn't around, but both of them were shaking after they got away from him. The rest of us that were around, went out of our way to make sure EVERY GIRL WASN'T BY THEMSELVES if they had to go anywhere. It was like we had our own bodyguard service. Oh yeah and after an internal struggle, I've come to the conclusion that although Nate hasn't done anything this semester, he is still pretty close to the line. I met this girl, Veronika. Well, she's on the top of the list of girls Nate wants to date. The poor girl doesn't really have any interest in him. I can't help, but to think back to the Denna situation, last year. Nate thinks that he had a better shot of getting with her than I did. That's funny, seeing how she was also creeped out by him. He can think that all he wants. Denna has told me countless times that if it weren't for that asshole husband of hers, it would've been me that she chose. Still, that didn't stop him from trying to cock-block me, every chance he got. Right now, I find myself in an interesting position. I know he likes Veronika just like he knew I liked Denna. Yet, he tried to steal my thunder anyways. I could try to get a measure of payback. However, that's not really my deal and I think there's enough guys trying to get with her already. Not only that, but that'd be using her for all the wrong reasons. Saturday was my grandfather's birthday. So, I spent the entire day over at their house. An incredible feeling washed over me when I was over there. I'm not the biggest fan of my grandmother, but I have no issue with my grandfather. The best present I could give him was just to hang out over there all day. As a result, this incredible feeling surrounded me. I had that feeling all the time when I was with Denna. Ever since she left, that feeling went with her. Unfortunately, the feeling didn't stay with me. It'll probably come back when I go on vacation. This week, there are somethings that I'm looking forward to and things that I'm not. One of the things that I'm NOT looking forward to is going back to Mike's cabin. The reason being is that both Bridgette Taylor and her slutty bitch friend, Desiree are gonna be there. If it wasn't for the fact that there were going to be other girls there, I wouldn't go. Mikey's my boy, but his taste in women is incredibly disturbing. When he came to visit last week, Desiree was being her little slutty self and seducing him. The problem is that he didn't mind it. She's an annoying little slut. She said some stuff to me that almost got her in a world of hurt. The bitch was about to lose her remaining teeth. But, if Mikey were to have sex with her, it'd be in my favor. She has this freakin' midget that she's engaged to in the Marine Corp. If she ever got on my nerves, I could blackmail that little slut. Bridgette still keeps cuddling with Dan. It's really irritating me. It's taking a lot of will power to not shout: "He freakin' dumped you, bitch! Get the hell over it!" She's also hanging out with these other guys to try to make him feel bad. She's leading them on and that's also pissing me off. I've read her online messages and they're really pathetic. "I'm waiting for a nice guy that likes me for me and not just my body," "I'm getting really annoyed with people trying to get with me when I'm in love with someone else," give me a freakin' break already. She does it to herself and that's why I have no pity for her. I'm guessing that on Friday, I'm gonna flip out on both her and Desiree. Luckily, Seth will be there, so if I have to leave that night, it'll be possible. Sunday is Wrestlemania 25. Denna's not here, so it won't be the same. Still, I'm gonna watch it and I'll probably remember all of it. Last year was great, though. I don't think anything can top it. It wasn't just the event that was awesome. Denna spent the night with me. That's why it was so freakin' awesome. The only thing that the event is missing is Undertaker isn't in the main event. He still has a big match, but I'd rather see him regain the World Heavyweight Championship and get the lengthy title reign that he deserves. This year, he's facing Shawn Michaels. Shawn Michaels becomes very selfish when Wrestlemania draws closer each year. I remember back in 2004 when he put himself in the Triple Threat World Heavyweight Championship match at Wrestlemania 20. Thankfully, Chris Benoit won that match. This year, he's bragging that he's going to be the one to end Undertaker's undefeated streak at Wrestlemania. HA! Yeah, right. Shawn's 6-9 at Wrestlemania. He may put on one hell of a show, but he's usually on the losing end. There have been matches that I could've sworn that he was gonna win and he'd end up losing. Then again, there were a few matches that Undertaker has had that had me concerned. Basically, when he faced Randy Orton at Wrestlemania 21 and when he faced Batista at Wrestlemania 23. I pretty-much knew that he'd win, last year. I'm not too concerned, this year. Shawn Michaels may be known as Mr. Wrestlemania, but he's lost several times at Wrestlemania. Undertaker may have never beaten Shawn when they've faced off before, but there's a first time for everything. Undertaker's going to be 17-0 and there's nothing Shawn Michaels can do about it.

Weeding The Garden

I can either be your best friend or your worst enemy. You choose which one. I know that I've said this before. But, people are really starting to test me. I've done nothing to Kelcie, but she keeps on making me out to be the bad guy. After going to 2CW, we went to pick up Dan and Chris. When we got to Danny's, Kelcie was sitting there hanging out with Jay. I tried to explain that I valued her friendship more than my so-called friendship with Bridgette, but she wasn't in the right state of mind. However, according to her, I got in her face and had my voice raised to her. Danny was right there. I didn't do anything like that. Well, she told Cory and he confronted me about it. After hearing my side of the story, he was cool with me. In fact, he realized that him and I aren't too different. I'm just getting sick of people making me out for something that I'm not. As far as I'm concerned, I don't wanna see Kelcie, I don't wanna talk to Kelcie. I'm done being nice. She'll regret it later. One day, she'll need to talk to me and I'm just going to turn my back on her. Alright, enough of that. Friday, Seth and I went to the movies. I saw Slumdog Millionaire, which wasn't too bad. Then, we picked Danny up from work and went to a party on the south side of Binghamton. We didn't stay long, but it was a good time. The next day, we went to the 2CW show. After seeing both 2CW and ECPW, I'm starting to lean towards ECPW. There are guys in 2CW that I like and I'll still go to the shows, but ECPW has bigger stars. With the exception of Kamala and Jimmy Snuka, their main attractions can still go. Brutus Beefcake still had it when I saw him a few weeks ago. 2CW did a cage match, which was Keith Zimmer's idea for a future show in ECPW. Also, 2CW handed out signs that said ECPW BLOWS!, EXTREMELY CRAPPY PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING, and 2CW OWNS BINGHAMTON. Not only that, but Zachary Springate III grabbed the mic and said that ECPW couldn't hold 2CW's jock. ECPW never slandered 2CW once. So, now that 2CW called out ECPW, it's gonna be war. The 2CW show didn't disappoint, but I'm looking forward to the Cortland show, next weekend. This week, I'm going to "weed the garden" once again. Like I've said before. My friends define who I am. With Bridgette Taylor and Kelcie gone, I might as well find out who my true friends are. The hell with the rest of them. I may joke about being the godfather in the family, but in a way, I fit that role. I already know that Danny, Chris, and Dan are behind me. Seth's just there, but whatever. Overall, the weekend wasn't bad, but I'd like just one weekend that nobody screwed with me. If I'm in Cortland next weekend, then I don't think I'll have to worry about that.

Reminiscing

Things are starting to calm down a bit around here. With the exception of Monday, the week wasn't that bad. Then again, I didn't hang out at BCC that much, so that could have something to do with it. I haven't talked to Kelcie, since she called me on Sunday. Dan and Chris wanted to talk to her, but I told them not to worry about it. They didn't want Bridgette to break up my friendship with her, but she didn't. Kelcie chose to end it herself. Depending on how this week goes, I might call her up and settle things. Worse case scenario, I'll make sure I get the last word. Friday, after Seth got out of work, we went over to The Beef to hang out with Danny. That was actually a smart move. Cody wanted us to go to the hooka bar, but we'd have to pick up Bridgette on the way. Seth didn't want her in his car, so I told Cody he was too tired to go anywhere. One of Danny's co-workers, Joe called up a lady friend of his. She told him that she was bringing three of her friends with her. He turned to me and said, "I only need one of them, so play it cool." I thought that was freakin' awesome. I'm used to these freakin' guys surrounded by a group of girls and they're usually unwilling to share. Joe has his priorities in order. He knows that he only needs one girl to be happy. When they came, I talked to one of them. Her name's Jane, she goes to Binghamton University. Unfortunately, they didn't stay long, but Joe works with Danny, so I'm not worried about not seeing them again. Saturday, was gonna be the big Mardi Gras party. Key word in that sentence is "was". Danny left his girlfriend, Jay in charge of that party. Jay doesn't really know how to plan a party, so there was a drunk annoying guy, a pregnant girl with her black boyfriend, and Seth and me. Seth and I left around midnight. I called Danny when we got home, because I was bored AND I wanted to find out if any girls managed to show up. "No, everybody left," he replied. We talked about how disappointing the party was and then I told Danny about the parties at Camp that I hosted. Danny said those were the kind of parties that he wanted. I wish Danny could've made those parties. For one thing, nobody would've messed with me if Danny were there. Nothing would've been broken and I'd still have had $200 in my wallet. As I was reminiscing about the parties at Camp, it came to me that I really did enjoy myself, last summer. Sure, the job wasn't exactly a barrel of laughs and I missed my boys back home, but at the end of the day, those same people that I worked with were in the same boat that I was in. I wouldn't go as far as say we were a second family, but we made the best of it. I miss anybody from Australia. They were just awesome. Especially, Matt and Erin. I think I was Erin's favorite. Matt would tell me that Erin always asked how I was doing. She was great. My other favorite was Meagan from Scotland. Her and I were gonna hang out at the place I was staying, but that never happened. I have a feeling that she'll work at the camp again, because last year was her second year working there. I do plan on visiting the camp a couple times, this summer. But, I have no intention of working there again. Before going to Danny's, I took a long walk. I had a lot of things on my mind. Mostly, Denna was on my mind. I found out on Friday that she was leaving early Saturday morning to go back to Kansas. If I had known she was leaving sooner, I'd have made an effort to hang out with her during the week. As I've said before, I have a few journals from high school. My journal from 9th grade is filled with pages about wrestling. Wrestling, wrestling, wrestling, my girlfriend, wrestling, my girlfriend, wrestling wrestling, wrestling. Then, my 2006 journal AND my old livejournal online is filled with Ashley. Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley. That's all it is. I've read this one a few times. Now, I discovered a pattern. This one's filled with things about Denna. Denna, Denna, Denna, Denna. Yeah sure, there's other stuff in here as well, but from 2008 to about now, it's been all Denna. I've been thinking of why I didn't tell her about everything a year ago. Last night, I realized why. I thought that I had already lost. My spirit was broken. So, I just let her go. I felt used, so I just let her go. 2008 was definitely my year. My favorite football team, the Giants won the superbowl, Undertaker won the World Heavyweight Championship at Wrestlemania, my bank account was the best it's ever been, and Denna came into my life. I wasn't alone in 2008, because she was there. Almost immediately after meeting me, she met my friends and she was accepted. This all happened before her moronic husband entered the picture. The second or third day we hung out, we were flirting with each other. I knew she liked me and I'm pretty sure she knew that I liked her. I remember everybody was to leave the BCC Campus due to a big snow storm heading our way. I had to take the bus. Bridgette and Denna had to take the bus as well. I really didn't like Bridgette back then and I guess my facial expressions showed it. Denna noticed and playfully poked my side. That started a poking/tickling war. Later, she called me and said she did that to distract me. She could tell that Bridgette was getting on my nerves, so she distracted me. That's when I realized that there was some kind of attraction there. I don't know what it is about her. I can remember every moment and every word we've shared. Not only that, but I remember the scent of her perfume (cologne actually), the way she looked at me, the way she'd gently brush her hand on my cheek. There's an old saying. You don't know what you have until it's gone. That was the case with Ashley. With Denna, I knew exactly what I had. I had learned the first time with Ashley. So, when I was walking, I was thinking about everything. One thing that I've learned is that in some cases, there's no such thing as "too late." Hell, there is no tomorrow. So, I'm going to tell Denna everything. I'm gonna prove to her that I'm better than her worthless husband. Also, I'm gonna prove to her that I'm the path to her being happy, because I don't think she's happy, right now. She seemed happier, here in Binghamton. Where all her friends and family are. Where I am. I think she'd be happier with me, because last year, she was happy with me. She did ask me to keep in touch with Cory, which I had already planned on doing. That was her way of asking me to look after him. That's no problem. My mission is to get things back to the way they were. I'm gonna make things go back to the way they should be. I know talk is cheap and actions speak louder than words. It's about time I took action.

The Good, The Bad, The Aftermath

This weekend has definitely interesting. Yesterday wasn't really that good due to Seth's little step-brother egging me on to the point that I popped him in the jaw. To make things worse, Kelcie's upset at me because of what happened on Saturday, although I did absolutely nothing wrong. Today, Seth came really close to getting cracked in the jaw like his step-brother. I'm really getting fed up with him. The bastard doesn't think before he speaks. Last week wasn't exactly the greatest week in the world either. Surprisingly, I talked to Bridgette about the stuff that's going on between her, Cody, and Kelcie. To my shock, she's not really interested in Cody. So, I cleaned the slate with the final warning that she doesn't interfere in Cody and Kelcie's relationship. Well, despite all that, Cody and Kelcie are taking a break. So, Kelcie called me up and took out all of her frustration on me. I'm sorry, but that's messed up. I did nothing wrong. I would still be there for Kelcie if she needed me. Instead, she chose to cut all ties with me, with Cody, and all of Cody's friends. She'll regret it later and she'll have to live with it. Alright, enough about all that. Friday's party didn't go as well as it could have. In fact, Friday's party sucked. Which is a shocker, because I thought it was gonna be great. But, Chris was all pissed off at something, Dan's girlfriend was spreading high school drama, and Dan was nervous about what to do with her. So, it wasn't really that great. Here's the amusing part. I thought Cody's '70's theme party was going to suck as well. Surprisingly, it was a hell of a lot better than Friday's party. My highlight from that party was talking to Denna's friend Cory. Apparently, before Denna brought him over to Danny's a few weeks ago, she told him I was the guy that needed to accept him. Denna told him a lot about me when she came home. I just find that flattering. It's almost like getting a father's approval when you're dating his daughter. The fact that Denna brought him over to hang out with MY friends is also a huge honor. When she was in Kansas, my name didn't come up at all. That's mainly because her and I weren't talking. I felt like I had been used and she thought I was an asshole. Then, we both apologized and things got better between us. I liked Cory the first night that I met him. But, we didn't really have the conversation that we had on Saturday. He said that he just wanted me to know that he wasn't going to do anything to hurt Denna. I assured him that I already knew he wouldn't do anything like that. Denna almost did kick somebody's ass at the party. I was about to get involved, but Cory was the voice of reason. Still, we went outside just to make sure that Denna was alright. Overall, the party on Saturday was a blast. Unfortunately, the aftermath was far from it. Things don't seem the same and I don't know how much more I can take. Things just seem to be getting worse and worse. I can't express how badly I wish I could go back just one year. 2008 will always be my year.

Why My Head Hurts.

Denna did end up coming home after all. At first, I thought she was avoiding me. Fortunately, that wasn't the case. She said that before she makes plans, she has to see if her dad has any plans for her on that day. It was a big relief. I did end up get to see her, yesterday. She brought a friend of her's from Endicott. He was cool. I invited them to the party that Seth and I are trying to put together for next weekend. Now that Denna's back in town, I'm not sure what I'm doing, this weekend. I'd love to hang out with her, but if she doesn't call me by Thursday, I'm staying home. I could really use a break from drinking and everything. The only reason why I'd go away this weekend, is if I could hang out with her. Yesterday, I can't exactly prove it, but I think I caught her glancing at me a few times. Kind of like she did back in the day. Again, I can't prove it, but I'm pretty sure. As for how my weekend went, that's easy enough. On Friday, it turned out that Danny's party was actually a birthday for one of their friends. There WERE single girls there, but there was one problem. They had two or more kids. My friend Dana scolded me for not making more of an effort. She had a lot of logic behind argument. So, who knows? There was one that was 30 years old that seemed pretty cool. Unfortunately, after the party, Danny and Jay were locked out of their apartment, so we had to crash at Branda's place. I don't think I've mentioned her before, so here's some background information. She's a single mom at the moment. She does have a boyfriend, but who knows how long that'll last. She's pregnant with another child and for some reason, she seems obsessed with the fact that I'm still a virgin. Apparently, she seems that I'm gonna have difficulty getting a girl due to my one rule. I'm not too worried about that. She loves bringing it up, though. I'm not sure why, yet. Today, she saw me walking down the hall and gave me a big hug. She said she'd see me on Friday, but I'm not sure what I'm doing yet as far as going away for the weekend. Getting back to what happened this weekend, Saturday I headed over to Candor. Not much happened over there. Sunday, Seth and I hung out with Clarissa. Again, it was funny watching him trying to "put the moves" on her. It's like watching a retard trying to get girls. That was pretty-much my Sunday. So, that was my weekend. I've been doing a lot of thinking, lately. Ever since Denna's been back, she's been on my mind constantly. Hell, before she came back, she was on my mind. There has only been one other person to have grabbed my attention like this and that was Ashley. We all know how that story ended. I just don't know what the hell to do. Denna's still married to that moron, this Corey guy entered the scene, and no matter what I do, I can't get her out of my head. I talked to Danny about it, last night. He said that I should talk to her. In fact, he thought that I should've been a little more active on Monday. I told him that I didn't wanna have to compete for her. "There's only competition in sports," he replied. So, after talking to Danny, I've decided to talk to Denna when I see her. He thinks that I'm in love with her. He could be right. The thing is that for the time being, she's married to Keegan. So, even if I do love her, there's nothing I really can do about it, except let her know. Seth made up some more bullshit. This time, it was about Denna. That's one subject that I'm not gonna put up with his b.s. He needs to stop with the bullshit. I'm not the only that's fed up with him. Dan and Chris only tolerate him for my sake. Eventually, I'm gonna end up flipping out on him. I'm surprised I haven't snapped yet. I'll deal with him later. Right now, I have more important things to focus on. There's someone more important that deserves my attention. It's about time I gave it to her.

Back To Being Me

I've always said that I'm my own worst enemy. The past few weeks, I've been a shell of my former self. This weekend, I started to return to who I am. I hung out with Aaron and Marcy on Friday, which meant that I was drinking. The hangover sucked the next day, but it went away after two Ibuprophens. Saturday was Cody's birthday party. After the last party, I'll admit that I was a bit unsure how this one would turn out. This party was a hell of a lot better than the last one. Apparently, these girls remember me from telling them an epic story about a shirt I got, last year. I don't remember that story or even meeting these girls, but they remember me. Too bad the one girl was only 17. The other girl was of age, but she had a cool boyfriend named Jerimiah. Her name was Samantha. Jerimiah and I talked a bit, then I talked to Sam. At one point, she grabbed Danny and dragged him into the hall, because something was bothering her. I was nervous that I might've said something stupid without realizing it like I did, last Saturday. When we were outside, I asked her if I said or did anything wrong. "Oh, no Jerimiah likes you. It was Just that....that Paul guy is a bit grabby and Jerimiah was nervous that he'd try to touch me," was her answer. Unfortunately, Paul is starting to get this reputation as being the loud, drunk, annoying guy that's all touchy-feely. Basically, he's being "that guy". When we went back inside after smoking either a cigarette or cigar, she sat on Jerimiah's lap, pointed to me, and said: "I like him." Man, that was a huge ego boost. All night long, I was making those guys laugh just by being me. That's how I used to be. I'd just make people at the parties laugh and have a good time. Sam is freakin' amazing. It almost kills me that she's taken. She's very attractive and I really dig her personality. Paul was trying to pick her up, but he's "that guy", so it didn't work. Last night's party was exactly what I needed. Things are starting to be like they were. Tonight, was the big superbowl. Unfortunately, the Giants weren't part of this one. Still, the game was very close and very good. I'm not a football fan, so that speaks volumes. Next week, the party's gonna be Friday instead of Saturday. Danny promised that there'd be beautiful, single, girls that are of age at this one. He better be able to deliver true to his word, because it's been a long time. This weekend's been the best one in a long time and I need to continue to keep my morale up. Hopefully, the same girls that were there, yesterday will be there on Friday. Either way, I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It was just a very long tunnel.

New Years Day 2009.

I've been home for a few weeks now. A lot has gone on. I'll start with all that's been happening with me. Due to a lot of factors that I don't feel like getting into at this point, I'm not going back to Cortland. Tomorrow, I'm gonna re-transfer to BCC. I made a lot of stupid decisions, this year. Most them have already came back to bite me in the ass. As much as I loved it at Cortland, it feels right for me to go back to BCC. I have unfinished business over there. I can finally get my associates' degree. Also, I'll have more time to hang out with my friends. Stacey's leaving New York in March, so it'll be great to be able to spend a couple more days with her until then. Steph's coming home in 12 days and she owes me a day to hang out. Denna and I straightened things out, so the bitterness has left me. She's coming back to New York for a while. I haven't really hung out with the people that I wanted yet, but there'll be plenty of time. I have hung out with Seth, Danny, Cody, and Kelcie. Kelcie and I talked over the phone a couple days ago. She's really upset at the fact that Bridgette's back in New York and keeps on calling Cody. She's even more upset at the fact that Cody defends Bridgette. I can see where she's coming from along with everyone else. She's voiced her concerns to me, Jay, and Danny. Kelcie asked me a question that caught me off guard. She asked me if Cody ever cheated on her, could she cheat on him with me. I told her that I'd get back to her on that one. She says that she didn't mean it. She said she was joking, but I'm not so sure about that. Kelcie's a beautiful girl and Denna was originally trying to hook her up with me. But, I couldn't do that to Cody. He may be making some stupid decisions, but I wouldn't be able to do that. I'm not sure if I would've been next in line if Kelcie wasn't dating Cody. Still, they're both good friends of mine. This week, I'm at Seth's place. On Tuesday, we watched an episode of that Double Shot of Love reality show. It's just as bad as when Tila Tequila was the host. This time, there's two twins that are both looking for love. Again, it's pathetic and of course I'll be tuning in next Tuesday. Last night, was New Year's Eve. We had a small party at Seth's again. His brother Aaron got drunk and threw all the party snacks at me. It's been a while since Aaron's gotten that drunk. Today has been boring. Tomorrow, Seth and I are gonna do something to make up for the fact that he couldn't do anything for his birthday, today. We don't know what yet, but our morning's pretty booked. As far as my resolution's concerned, it's pretty simple. My resolution for 2009 is to work out and get in shape. It's about time I worked on my image a bit more. Who knows? It could go a long way. 2008 was a pretty good year. Hopefully, 2009 will be even better.

Taking It Back

I'm kind of burnt out right now, but I'm gonna do my best. First of all, last Wednesday was my birthday. Yay, 23 years old and another year closer to death. Ok, I'm just kidding about the death part. I called up Zimmer and Cummings that night. Zimmer was busy, but Shaun and James came to get me. We played cards and drank for a few hours. It was a fun time. UFC started last week. They're doing the same thing this time around as last time. There were fights just to get in the house. They're over now, so the real fun begins next week. I went home last weekend and my parents spoiled the HELL out of me. I visited my old college last Friday. I saw Nate, but I ignored him for the most part. It turns out that he's not too fond of me anyways. Well, I never gave him a reason to dislike me, but if he wants one, I'd be more than happy to give him one. He's an asshole, so screw him. I had three tests, this week. Two of them didn't go well. That's why I'm burnt out, right now. I need to do well on the remaining ones and I'll be fine. Today, I had a presentation. It was a group thing, so it wasn't just me. This one girl was stupid as hell. She's a bossy little bitch too. Well, when it was my turn to present my part, she butted in rather rudely. That pissed me off to no end. I came very close to saying: "know your place and shut up!" I didn't, because that would've been sexus and assholish. Last night, I went on this "take back the night" walk. We walked around the town of Cortland protesting against rape. During the walk, I had a flashback of something that happened in 2006. I remember waiting for my mom to come get me from college. I ran into Cody and he invited me to Will Wallack's party. I went to that and got completely hammered. Too hammered actually. I puked my guts out, that night. I have a good friend by the name of Ric Keiser. When he went to BCC, him and I were tight. He had this scary, slutty girlfriend in 2006. She was also at the party, but he had to work. Anyways, her and I took the same bedroom. She was more drunk than I was. She kissed my neck a lot. She also undid my belt. I went back out to the living room asking for someone to take care of her for me. Someone did go in, but I ended up back in the room with her. I finally drifted off to sleep when I heard Scott Hoyt come in the room. Throughout the entire night, Hoyt kept giving me a condom. He said I needed it more than I did. I kept throwing it back at him, saying I wasn't going to do anything. At this point, Hoyt thought he was a ladies' man that could touch whatever and whoever he wanted. Truth be told, he was just a pathetic schmuck. Well, he climbed in bed with the two of us and I heard kissing noises. I told them to keep it down and Keiser's girlfriend kicked me to the floor. So, I left the room. What happened next, only Hoyt knows. I DO know that she doesn't remember doing anything and if it hadn't been for my recollection of the night, she'd never have known. I've been kicking myself about this for years, now. I know I could've done more. It can't be proven, but I still think something happened in that room. I had to be the one to tell Keiser what happened. The poor guy had a breakdown right there on the spot. I felt worse than I've ever felt. Keiser never blamed me for anything. In fact, he said I was a good friend and thanked me. Still, I know I could've done something about it. I get so pissed off when the people that WEREN'T at the party say: "If I was there, I'd have grabbed Hoyt by the back of his neck and thrown him out of that room." They wouldn't have done anything. They'd have been passed out drunk in the living room with the others. That's how the rest of them were. Next time something like this happens, I'm going to do something about it. No more being a coward. I'm gonna do the right thing, next time.

All This Pressure.

This week has sucked for the most part. I had to pay part of my college tuition, which I was barely able to do. The part that sucks is that I'm damn-near broke from it. I probably should've stayed home this weekend, but I'm a stubborn s.o.b. Thanks to my dad, I have enough to get me through the weekend. The last thing I need to do before leaving for Cortland is get immunization shots. I'm not sure how well that's gonna work out. My doctor's on vacation for a few weeks. My parents are trying to get me in earlier than what was suggested. This past Wednesday, I had this stress-caused head ache. That's the first time I've ever gotten a head ache due to stress. The worst part was that I still had it yesterday morning. I took an aspirin and went back to bed. I woke up a couple hours later and the head ache was gone. Then, I drained what I could out of my bank account. My friend, Cory came by in the late afternoon. He asked if I wanted to go out. I sadly told him that I only had $3.00 in my wallet. He just waved a hand and said he got it. Before we left, my dad came home. He said he might stop at the bar later if we were there. That's what he did. He gave me some cash to last me the night. I only used half of it and the other half will get me through the weekend. I'll pay him back next week. He's not the only one that I owe money to. I still have to pay Robin back for Mother's Day. Henry owes me money, but he's an idiot and on top of that, he's unemployed. I swear...if I catch him buying anything, I'm adding on a $20 stupidity fee. Tonight, I'm gonna be drinking with Cody, Kelcie, and Danny. Saturday, I don't necessarily have plans, but there's still a few people that I haven't seen, since I came home. Sunday's the reason why I came to Binghamton in the first place. WWE Summer Slam's this Sunday. I'm supposed to pay for pizza. I'm gonna ask Danny if he can help out with that. Man, being poor sucks. One good thing about going to Cortland will be that I can find a job while I'm there. Dad's giving me some cash before I go up there, because he couldn't get me a plane ticket last month. It won't last though, because I still need to pay for the freakin' books. Last night helped relieve a lot to the stess I was dealing with, this week. I ran into several people that I went to school with. The best part is that I woke up without a hang over. I plan on having as much fun as possible, this weekend. Because I don't think next week will be any better.

It's Good To Be Home

When I was saying good bye to my friends at French Woods, a lot of them asked if I had a facebook. I didn't have one at the time, but my roommate from Cortland called me, today. I never met him, but we discussed our living arangements. He seems cool enough. Well, he has a facebook and asked if I had one. So, today I made one. I found a lot of people from my high school. I technically have a myspace too, but I hate it. So, I never use it. I have a picture of me and Denna up as my profile picture. Speaking of her, she left for Kansas last week. That's fine and everything, but she forgot to say good bye to someone....ME! To add to my amusement, I took a look at Ashley's blog and I may have found another cheap shot. "I hate it when people act like jerks then say they're my best friend." Um...I haven't done that one in a while, so I'm not sure. Either way, I'm better than her. Everyone knows it. I have so many friends, I lost count. Ashley can count HER friends on one hand. Ok, enough slandering on my end. So far, things have been much better, since returning home. At the WWE Show, I got Big Show's autograph. Believe me, it wasn't easy. He was swamped with fans. Friday, I'm gonna be drinking with Cody, Kelcie, and Danny. Just like we did back when I was at BCC. The difference is that certain people won't be there *cough* DENNNA *cough*. Oh well, I'll just have to deal. Tomorrow, I'm supposed to go drinking with an old school friend of mine. That is if he remembers to pick me up. The thing is that he plans on coming around 2:30 in the afternoon. So, by the time I get home, I'm gonna be so blitzed. I'll need all of Thursday to recover by Friday.

Week From Hell.

It's usually at BCC that the week from hell arrives. Not this time. This time, the week from hell happened at French Woods. Ever since coming back from Binghamton, it's been a freakin' nightmare. I had to deal with internet egotists Monday and Tuesday, my boss has been on my ass, I threw a goodbye party for all the new friends I had made over the summer, which got out of control, and it ended with Scott Schaefer coming back to the house the next day BEFORE I COULD CLEAN IT UP! So, yeah my week sucked. Here's what I could've and should've done differently to have made this week go by smoother. I should've ignored the internet egotists, I shouldn't of had a goodbye party at all, but if I must, then it should've been AFTER the family weekend. The party's the biggest thing that's been bothering me. Overall, it was a great party. However, there were people that got out of control. Some things got broken, the place ended up a huge mess like always, it could've gone much smoother. What I should've done, was taken yesterday off from work to clean up the house. Sure, I'd probably still have gotten a lecture from Scott, but it wouldn't have been that bad. Actually, I think everything is fine, today. I cleaned the house to the best of my ability and I apologized countlessly to Scott. I don't know if the storm has passed yet, he hasn't come back to the house. Part of me is wishing I was home already. Hell, part of me wants to go home tomorrow. I won't...but part of me wants to. Instead, I'll suck it up for the next two days. I doubt Scott'll stick around after tonight. Him and April will stay at the house tonight, but I'm pretty sure all of them will leave tomorrow. I'm gonna pack my stuff up, tomorrow, thank Scott for helping me with the job and letting me stay at the house, tomorrow, and enjoying my last night at camp, tomorrow. On Monday, while I'm working, I'll say goodbye to the people that demanded that I see them before I leave. It's gonna feel so good to be home on Monday. I'll probably go back to watching wrestling that night. Hell, I'll go back to doing everything that night. I've already alerted my friends that I'm coming home and I'm already making plans to hang out with them. First one on my list is Stacey. She had her baby, so it'll be no problem for her to come hang out. Denna's next followed by Stephanie. I'll probably hang out in Binghamton one more time before college starts up. I may have brought this up before, but I'm curious to see if I'll be accepted. In Hancock, the locals that worked at the camp treated me like an outsider. They were nice to me, but they didn't make me feel at home. That was probably the hardest part of everything. It didn't feel like home, so it wasn't home. Even though I didn't grow up in Binghamton, it feels like home. I can't explain how good it felt to be back there, last weekend. It's a damn good thing that this is my last week or I'd probably go out of my mind. I'm waiting very impatiently for the next two days to go by. At least today's Saturday. Sunday's not gonna be too stressful. Monday's my last day, so I'll be grinning all day long. Well...until I have to say goodbye to everybody. There's gonna be a few people that I'll miss. Pretty-much anybody from Australia. Most of the maintenance crew, Meagan from Scotland, and a few others. Still, I need to do this. One of the guys from Russia in Maintenance had a heartbreaking look on his face when I told him I was leaving. There's a lot of people that don't want me to go. Some don't want me to go, because the parties will stop. Although, I'd probably have done away with those after this last one anyways. The rest don't want me to go, because they actually got to know me. Erin from Australia's been one of my biggest fans, since party #2. Hell, that's how I met her. She just showed up, not knowing a damn thing about me. Hell, that's how I met a lot of the people here. They didn't know me. They heard the word "party" and showed up. Parties #1 and #2 went smoothly. In fact, I picked up after party #1 all by myself. Party #3 I wish I never had. It just sucked. Party #4 was great, but I wish I went about things more differently. I'd say overall, everything was alright. However, if I can find a job closer to home next year, I'll take it. If nothing else is available, I'd come back to French Woods. The rules of the house might be different next time, but it'd still be another fun summer.

The Way It Is.

A lot of stuff has happened in the past few days. I'll start with the stuff that happened on Friday. During work, one of the guys decided that he did indeed wanted a graduation party. So, we got some beer and planned a meeting place. First off, one of the guys that was invited, decided to go to the staff meeting. That took an hour. Then, he proceeded to piss me off by just being an annoyance. Things were going smoothly UNTIL it was discovered that I'm a virgin. Nobody understood my reasons for it, but they accepted it. All but the annoying one. He proceeded to piss me off more and more just by running his mouth. Finally, after enough alcohol was in me, I said the hell with honor and respect and decided to show this guy what happens when you push the wrong button. I tried to provoke him by any means possible. Eventually, we had a small scuffle that didn't last long and ended up with one of the guys that was there holding us back. He got in a low blow, but other than that, no harm was done. We're good for now, but I'm still a bit unsure about him. To me, his actions were uncalled for just like mine were. Most of my friends respect my decisions to do or not to do certain things. When someone keeps agitating a situation when I ask them to stop, it pisses me off. Then, I wake up around 10:33 the next morning, which isn't good. I'm supposed to work from 8:00 or 8:30 to 4:00. So, I was late. Work went on like always, then I went home and called a few of my friends that I haven't talked to in a while. My friend, Stephanie's gonna be coming home in two weeks, so her and I are gonna hang out when I take that weekend off. On Saturday, I was talking with this kid, Alex. He was going through some girl problems that I was familiar with. It was almost the exact same story with different characters. It brought me back to the Ashley days. If you wanna check out what those days were like, check out my livejournal. There's tons of entries of me bitching, moaning, and going all emo over her. Hell, I was 19 years old when all this happened. It's funny how most guys put on the tough guy act when they're having girl problems, but on the inside, it's tearing them up. I will admit that I wish things could've been different. Some of the blame goes on me. I should've done a lot of things differently. It's funny, because I stuck by her for a good year and a half. We were very close. I thought nothing could come between our friendship. However, as the old saying goes, nothing lasts forever. It wasn't ENTIRELY my fault for what happened. Still, there are times that I wish I could go back and make things the way they were. We all have times like that. Don't get me wrong, I'm over everything. But, talking with Alex brought me back to those times. Sunday, I went home for the first time in two weeks. Coming home felt like being born again. I almost didn't wanna go back. But, I had to. I still have some unfinished business here. Today, was my day off. It wasn't a great day by any means, but it was decent. Hopefully, Cody will come up on Saturday like we talked about. With July coming around the corner, I'm gonna start taking weekends off. If Louie tries to give me a hard time about it, I'll just tell him it's for stuff for college. I'm gonna try to spend a day of the weekend at home. It'll be easier on my parents. Mom had tears in her eyes when we said our first goodbye. They're not used to me being gone for months. Some days are better than others over here. Sometimes, it's extremely boring over here. Other times, it's great. I started a new blog over the weekend. http://mypassion-jak-jack.blogspot.com. It'll help me keep my creative ideas and use them when I need them. There's only one entry, but as thoughts come to me, there'll be more of them. For those of you that love writing, I'd recommend checking this out every now and then. Any comments or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.