Visiting Cortland

I finally got to visit Cortland for the first time, since December. Even though I've been gone for months, it still felt like home when I came back. I left Candor later than I originally wanted, but it didn't matter. I still managed to see quite a few of my friends than I thought I would. Again, I was amazed by the lack of drama at that place. I hung out with my roommate, Joe for a while. Then, as I was leaving to meet other people, I ran into Kristi and Hillary. Both of them gave me big hugs. So, I talked to them for a little bit. Then, I went off to hang out with some of my other friends. I know when I was at Cortland, I was wishing I was back in Binghamton. Now, I'm back at Binghamton and wishing I was back at Cortland. That's only because that situation happened with Kara, last semester. I realized what would've made me satisfied. If my boys from BCC were with me at Cortland, then everything would've been great. I still loved it over at Cortland, but it would've been nice if my boys were with me. After coming back for a day, I've decided that I want desperately to return to Cortland as soon as possible. If I can pay off what I owe and get a 2-year degree at BCC, there might be a chance that I can come back. The ECPW show was pretty good. Unlike the 2CW show, I wasn't bored at all. Instead of retaliating, they were a class act. Its unfortunate that I'm gonna miss their next Binghamton show. I have a wedding to go to on my dad's side the next day in Virginia Beach. So, I'm gonna miss ECPW's version of a cage match. Keith Zimmer took care of me yesterday and today. Seth pussed out on Friday about going to the ECPW show. He dropped me off at Cortland, then left to go to the movies with Danny's. First of all, that's pretty stupid. That's a lot of gas to waste. Zimmer gave me a place to stay and he drove me back to Candor. I felt bad that I couldn't give him gas money back to Cortland. He said not to worry about it. However, to repay him for his generosity, I'm gonna try to get as many people to the Binghamton show that I can. I'll hand out fliers, I'll tell my friends about it, I'll do everything humanly possible to make sure that they fill up a lot of seats. In June, I'll bring as many people with me to their Cortland show that I can get. That's how I'll make it right.

New People, Same Drama

It took me a while to realize it, but the drama has returned. At BCC, the drama never fades. Even if the people who create it leave, it still hovers around. The worse part about it is that I'm starting to get sucked into it again. There was a time when I found the drama entertaining. But, ever since going to Cortland, I've gotten used to not being around it as much. Now, I'm back at BCC. The drama's still here. I've said that I'm not perfect countless of times. I know that sometimes without meaning to, I can cause drama. However, I always try to clean up after myself. Why can't people just grow up? The main person responsible for most of the drama around here is Bridgette. Even when she's not here, she still creates drama. I'm still kicking myself for sticking up for her back in 2006. I should've just let my friends keep on harrassing her. Instead, I screamed at them and made a stand. They backed down, but Bridgette remained being Bridgette. At the last party over at Danny's, I made a poor comment directed at Cody and Kelcie. Although, I wasn't serious, it still had an impact on them. I apologized to both of them and we're fine now, but when I talked to Kelcie, I told her about my past conversations with Denna. Denna's been in one of her moods, lately. She mentioned that someone told her that Kelcie didn't really like her and was only nice to her in person. I didn't get a name out of her, but Kelcie had an idea of who it was. "It's Bridgette! She must've told Denna that!" she screamed in rage. The part about it is that it's not true. Kelcie really is Denna's friend. Although I can't prove that Bridgette really said that to Denna, it does make sense. Back in the summer, Denna called me, because Bridgette found out about the stuff we were doing. Bridgette wanted her to tell Dan and Chris, because "Chris has always wanted to put me in my place." I called those guys up immediately. I knew better than to believe Bridgette, but I still had to let those guys know that they are and always will be my boys. When I told Chris what Bridgette had said, he got very pissed. Bridgette tried to drive a wedge between the three of us. Obviously, it had failed. Still, she tried to turn my friends against me. So, it wouldn't surprise me if she was doing the same thing to Kelcie. However, Kelcie happens to be a girl and she can break Bridgette in half. Kelcie started to ask me to do impossible things for her at Cody's birthday party. Things like hold Cody back while her and her friend Clarissa jump Bridgette. I told her that there was no way in hell that I could do that. Bridgette deserves anything she gets, but there'll be a time and a place for it. Violence is pointless. If Kelcie really wants vengeance, she should find a more satisfactory way. I already talked to Dan and Chris about it. I told them to help me make sure nothing went down on Saturday IF Bridgette should show up at the party. I don't even know if she's coming or not. Hopefully, she won't be there. Today, I was hanging out with Dan when a girl that I'm not familiar with, came over and gave him a hug. It turns out that this girl has a crush on Dan. For some reason unknown to me, he says that he's not ready for a relationship. I don't see what the problem is. She's a nice girl. Again, I can predict what will happen if Dan doesn't snap out of it. He'll finally be ready for a relationship with her and it'll be too late. She'll be dating someone else that's a complete asshole. It's happened to me, it's happened to Chris, it's happened to all of us. It's not a good feeling. In fact, it's probably the worst pain I've ever felt. But, it's up to him. It's just that he doesn't deserve that pain. When I talked to Denna on Tuesday, we reminisced about how things were last spring. Both of us wanna go back. There'd be some minor changes. I'd probably have "officially" hooked up with Denna. I wouldn't have gone to work at that stupid camp. I'd have gotten my degree at BCC and I wouldn't have screwed up in Cortland. I would've worked with my dad over the summer. I'm sure there would've been some problems, but things would've been a little better. However, things are what they are. If things were different, I'd probably not have known about the stuff with Kara. I sure as hell wouldn't have been put in the International dorm at Cortland, so I'd have never met Joe or Kristi. Things are a bit rough, right now. But, things could've been worse and I'm sure there's a reason why things happened the way they did. Things are slowly getting better. I just have to be patient. Soon, I'll be back on top again.

Hard Times

Things haven't really improved much. In fact, things have gotten worse. My dad found out about my academic suspension. As a result, he gave me the whole "disappointed" speech and suggested my best course of action. Not only that, but paying for college has just gotten harder. I can't remember things ever being this bad. I've been in some tight spots before, but this one's been the worst. I honestly don't know how I'm gonna bounce back from this, right now. It's time that I swallowed my pride and admit that I need help. Unfortunately, asking for dad's help is out of the question. I may have to talk to the counselors at BCC, this week. There are some high points. When I came back to BCC, several of my lady friends pounced on me when they saw me. Then, I got to hang out with Dan and Chris. It seems like it's been forever, since I got to hang out with those guys. Last year, I hung out with Dan and Chris. They've always been there. Nate made a comment, today. He said that getting Dan and Chris to fight my battles was a pussy move. He just doesn't get it. Dan and Chris don't fight my battles for me. We fight our battle TOGETHER! If you mess with one of us, you mess with all of us. My prediction is that before the semester is over, Nate and I will come to blows. Denna's coming back and I know Nate'll try something. When he does, the three of us will be there to stop him. I've noticed that ever since coming back home, any problems that have been going on, have faded away. Cody and Kelcie almost broke up over Christmas and things were getting rocky between them. Then, I came home and started hanging out with them. Things have improved greatly between them. Everything just seems brighter. I just wish this dark cloud that looms over me would fade in the background. It's hard to have a positive perspective on all of this. Hopefully, my friends will be able to keep my morale up. The night's darkest before the dawn.

New Years Day 2009.

I've been home for a few weeks now. A lot has gone on. I'll start with all that's been happening with me. Due to a lot of factors that I don't feel like getting into at this point, I'm not going back to Cortland. Tomorrow, I'm gonna re-transfer to BCC. I made a lot of stupid decisions, this year. Most them have already came back to bite me in the ass. As much as I loved it at Cortland, it feels right for me to go back to BCC. I have unfinished business over there. I can finally get my associates' degree. Also, I'll have more time to hang out with my friends. Stacey's leaving New York in March, so it'll be great to be able to spend a couple more days with her until then. Steph's coming home in 12 days and she owes me a day to hang out. Denna and I straightened things out, so the bitterness has left me. She's coming back to New York for a while. I haven't really hung out with the people that I wanted yet, but there'll be plenty of time. I have hung out with Seth, Danny, Cody, and Kelcie. Kelcie and I talked over the phone a couple days ago. She's really upset at the fact that Bridgette's back in New York and keeps on calling Cody. She's even more upset at the fact that Cody defends Bridgette. I can see where she's coming from along with everyone else. She's voiced her concerns to me, Jay, and Danny. Kelcie asked me a question that caught me off guard. She asked me if Cody ever cheated on her, could she cheat on him with me. I told her that I'd get back to her on that one. She says that she didn't mean it. She said she was joking, but I'm not so sure about that. Kelcie's a beautiful girl and Denna was originally trying to hook her up with me. But, I couldn't do that to Cody. He may be making some stupid decisions, but I wouldn't be able to do that. I'm not sure if I would've been next in line if Kelcie wasn't dating Cody. Still, they're both good friends of mine. This week, I'm at Seth's place. On Tuesday, we watched an episode of that Double Shot of Love reality show. It's just as bad as when Tila Tequila was the host. This time, there's two twins that are both looking for love. Again, it's pathetic and of course I'll be tuning in next Tuesday. Last night, was New Year's Eve. We had a small party at Seth's again. His brother Aaron got drunk and threw all the party snacks at me. It's been a while since Aaron's gotten that drunk. Today has been boring. Tomorrow, Seth and I are gonna do something to make up for the fact that he couldn't do anything for his birthday, today. We don't know what yet, but our morning's pretty booked. As far as my resolution's concerned, it's pretty simple. My resolution for 2009 is to work out and get in shape. It's about time I worked on my image a bit more. Who knows? It could go a long way. 2008 was a pretty good year. Hopefully, 2009 will be even better.

Thanksgiving Break.

There's only two more weeks left in the semester. I couldn't be any happier with that. I went on break earlier than I planned. Still, I needed to get out of Cortland for a few days anyways. I went back to BCC on Monday. I wasn't able to see Dan and Chris, but I saw a few more people than the last couple of times I've been there. At one point, I heard someone cry out my name. I snapped my head in the direction of the voice. This yellow blur is heading in my direction...FAST! She pounced before I could tell who it was. It was a good friend of mine. Apparently, I was missed more than I thought I'd be. So, I hung out with her and later on, Kara. Kara was generous enough to scratch my back and release some of the tension that I've been feeling. That was pretty-much my Monday. Tuesday, I didn't do a damn thing. Wednesday, one of the guys that works with my dad wanted to go hunting on Thanksgiving, so he came up on Wednesday. We all went out for dinner at this bar/restaraunt. The bar tender went to school with me, but she was two years below me. Later on, her best friend stopped by. Well, my friend wanted her. Unfortunately for him, the girls in Harpursville are smarter than him. He did get the bartender's number, but he wanted me to play wingman and get her number for him. I flat out refused. Still, we were there longer than we should've been. Thursday, Thanksgiving, we didn't end up going hunting, because we were out so late. I ended up hanging out with Kyle after dinner. We went to this hockey game in Binghamton. Man, did they suck. Friday, I did nothing. Saturday, my parents and I went to the bar. Yesterday, before leaving to go back to Cortland, I called my roommate to see when it was gonna be open. He informed me that him and Alicia were no longer together. When I saw him yesterday, he looked happier than he's been in months. Now that Alicia's no longer around, he's been hanging out with his second family. He's not the only one that seems happy that Alicia's no longer in the picture. I for one, was pleased to hear that he finally dumped her. I saw it coming. Apparently, a lot of people did. Personally, I'm looking forward to the changes. It looks like I'll see how Whitaker Hall was last semester after all.

How Things Used To Be

Things have gone alright, since my visit to BCC. Team Mir still has control, but whatever. Nogueira will destroy Mir when they fight in December. Brock Lesnar beat Randy Couture for the UFC Heavyweight Championship. That really sucks, because I like Randy over Brock. Last week, was very interesting. Later on that same Tuesday that I came to see Kara, something happened. My roommate hung out with Kristi. I actually got to see them kid around a bit. When I first came to Cortland, Kristi told all of the new guys that Whitaker Hall (my dorm building) was like a big family. My roommate said that it was awesome. This semester, things haven't been good for him. His girlfriend has forbidden him to hang out with Kristi. I guess they were really close, last semester. Like how Ashley and I used to be our first year at BCC. Like how Robin and I are now. Before I continue with the story, I'm gonna side track a bit. Joe's girlfriend, Alicia is really starting to irritate me. She complains about EVERYTHING! Not only that, but she's constantly bossing Joe around and I don't go for that crap. Thanksgiving break's coming up and I'm calling all of my lady friends up, so I can hang out with them. I'm gonna hang out with Stephanie at one point. She really wants to hang out with me, which is somewhat surprising. We've hung out before, but I think she really does miss me. I miss her too. I told Joe and Alicia about that and Joe smirked slyly. I informed them that she was engaged. Alicia said: "what is it with you and married girls?" Basically, implying what happened with Denna earlier this year. I told her calmly nothing was gonna happen, but she was like, "If you did it once, you'll do it again." She really doesn't know me. I shrugged it off, but she had no place making a comment like that. Anyways, I think I saw a shell of Joe's former self on Tuesday. He looked happier than he's been in months. It was a nice change. It gave me a glimpse of what things were like, last semester. I basically told both of them, that they don't have to worry about me letting anything slip to Alicia. Joe admitted that he hasn't really been himself, this semester due to all of this. He claims to be happy with Alicia, but he wants to be with Kristi. If it were anybody else, I'd probably have ripped into them, but Joe's not a prick. I gave him the best advice that I could offer him. I told him that he needs to do what's best for him. On Friday, it was Kristi's birthday. I made it a point to stop by her dorm and wish her a happy birthday. We talked for about ten minutes. It turns out that during the course of the semester, we've become close. I don't know exactly how close, but we give hugs, now. Kristi's one of those people that can brighten up your day without even realizing it. If I were Joe, I'd know exactly what to do. I'd dump the complaining, immature, little girl and I'd date Kristi immediately, before it's too late. However, I don't know how much him and Alicia have gone through in their year and a half of dating each other. According to him, they've been through a lot. Still, I know just as well as anybody that things change and people change. A shining example of this would be Ashley and me. At the time, I thought we'd be best friends forever. I also thought that eventually, her and I would be dating. I was wrong on both counts. Ever since she's been with that other guy, things haven't really been the same. You look at us both and you'd never have realized that one point, we were extremely close. Hell, we were inseparable. I wish things had turned out differently, but nothing lasts forever. If I were to predict how Joe's scenario was going to spread out, it would be this. He'd finally have had enough of Alicia's crap and dump her. He'd tell Kristi that he broke up with Alicia and they could finally be together. She'd give him a sad look and tell him that it was too late, she found someone else. He'd say he understood, but it would still eat away at him. He'd watch as Kristi walked away from him with her new boyfriend. As for me, I'd watch from the distance and shake my head. This is just a prediction. I don't really know if this is how it'll all fold out. But, that's been my luck. It's happened so many times, I've lost count. I know this much. Not everyone's gonna be happy at the end of this story. So, it looks like this story will not have a happy ending. This whole thing is in Joe's hands right now and he knows it. The ball's in his court. We'll just have to see what happens.

Seeing Kara

I went back to BCC, this afternoon. Last week, there was another incident between Nate and Kara. The soonest that I was able to get a ride to BCC was today. I will admit that when I first heard what happened, I wanted to kick Nate's head in. This is what I heard. I heard that Nate flipped out and threw a chair in Kara's direction. The chair didn't hit her, but it extremely scared her. Kara pleaded that I wouldn't go after Nate and she had a pretty good argument. In the end, I promised her that I wouldn't go after him, despite how much I wanted to. I was actually supposed to go to BCC yesterday, but Zimmer didn't get his video recorded in time. So, I showed up around 3:50pm, today. Kara's been wanting to see me for months now. Finally, we were able to hang out for a while. Zimmer and Cummings said that if Nate did anything that I didn't like, they'd "have a talk with him." Surprisingly, things didn't get ugly. In fact, Nate apologized for not just the harm he caused to Kara, but for the whole situation involving Denna. I accepted the apology and asked him very calmly to keep his emotions in check. He wants to start off clean and I see no reason why not. However, the next time someone gets hurt because of his actions, then the gloves are off and I'm taking action. Unfortunately, I could only hang around for an hour. I did promise Kara that I'd come back real soon. Hanging out with Kara today seemed different from the times that we hung out back in April and May. I can't explain it, but there was definitely something different. Both of us are single, but I'm not sure if that's it. It could be just because I haven't been around in so long. I hated BCC with a passion when I was going there, but I did meet a lot of cool people over there. Unfortunately, most of them were gone, today. I'd like to stop by there when I have more time to see them. I'm thinking about going there on my Thanksgiving break. I get out a day before they do. Today, I would've loved to have hung out for a little longer, but I had to leave when Zimmer and Cummings wanted to leave. I know that I'll have plenty of time in December. I get out a few weeks before they do. So, I plan on stopping in when I know all of them will be there. I'm pretty content in Cortland, but it was nice to have gotten away for a few hours. I know Kara really wanted to see me and I couldn't just stay at Cortland when something like that happened. My only regret is that I couldn't get there sooner.

My Family From BCC

UFC 89 wasn't too bad. I didn't do too well on my UFC Fantasy, but oh well. I like both Bisping and Leban, but I was pulling for Leban, because he's one of the two people that inspired me to watch UFC in the first place. I was disappointed in Leban at the end of both the second and third rounds. He basically put his hands down and shouted at Bisping to hit him. That was a stupid move on his part. I'm not an expert in MMA, but even I know that all it takes is one good shot to the jaw and it's lights out. Leban's known as a bit of a hothead and he must've known that he was losing the fight. Still, I wouldn't be sticking my head out there with my hands down. I give Bisping credit, though. He didn't start unwinding on Leban. He kept the fight at his pace. Halfway through UFC 89, my friends Andy and Jason came by my dorm to hang out. So, we were watching the rest of UFC 89 and Jason had a comment for everything. He acted like he was a martial arts expert and although, we do live in America where you can express your opinion, I wish he'd just shut the hell up and watch the fights. I don't watch UFC, so someone can logically explain the stances, fighting styles, and all that. I watch UFC, because I wanna see people get knocked out or tap out. Isn't that why any of us watch UFC? Then, after UFC 89, the three of us played Andy's RPG (roleplaying game for those of you that aren't nerds like me). We just created characters and had a practice session to get a feel for everything. Today, my grandparents stopped by my college. Although, most of the time they drive me nuts, I was glad for the visit. Mainly, because that meant my grandfather was feeling a lot better. My grandfather has been in and out of the hospital for months. At least one week per month, we'd have to go to Wilson Memorial Hospital, because he was having breathing problems. He sounded good and from what I heard, he's acting more like himself. My grandmother just drives me nut. That's pretty-much it for that. Friday, there was this Masquerade Ball at Cortland. It's a good thing I asked Andy on Wednesday when it was or I'd have missed out on it. My mother overnighted my suit to me on Thursday. I got it in plenty of time. My other concern was getting a mask. Lucky for me that Andy had to get a mask, himself. I got a decent mask for $1.25. Around 6:15pm, I started to get ready. I gave Andy a call to see if he was ready too, but his friend Xena called him and asked him to hang out. Although, Xena has a boyfriend, I don't blame Andy for choosing her over the Masquerade Ball. I was all ready and put in too much effort not to go, so I went alone. Again, I was fortunate enough to run into Kristi first thing. So, I sat at her table. Then, Jason, our friend Liz, and one of Liz's friends showed up. It was a lot of fun, but there's only one thing I would change. There were only about 5 or 6 slow songs and they were all played in a row. The rest were fast songs and some of them almost killed me. I know this will sound really sterotypical and I apologize ahead of time, but it seems like only girls and gay guys can really dance to fast music. It was still fun, though. I heard that Cortland does at least 2 or 3 dances per semester. I'm all for that. Next time, I'm gonna try not to go stag. I did get to dance with this girl, named Erica and Liz this time, but it was a risky move going alone. It's my first year at Cortland and I had no clue if anyone I knew was going or not. Well...Kristi said she wanted to go, but she also said she was on duty, that night. She did go, but she was on duty at 9:00, so she couldn't stay for the slow songs. They didn't play the slow songs until 9:20. So, if I were to change anything, it'd be that the slow songs would be mixed in with the fast ones and there's be more of them. Right now, I'm watching David Archuleta's music video for his song, Crush. It's basically him and his friends hanging out, laughing, joking, stuff like that. It kind of reminds me of my friends at BCC. I hated BCC from the moment I stepped foot on it, but I did meet a lot of great people over there. It's funny, because at first, I was just this smart-mouth kid that didn't know when to shut up. But, things happened over time and I made a lot of great friends. It's like what Chris said, one day. You're friends with someone for so long that they're no longer your friends. They're your family. That's what we are at BCC. We're a family. When I first arrived at Cortland, that's how Kristi described last semester. During the first meeting, Kristi said that Whitaker was like a family, last semester. I feel bad for her and my roommate, Joe, because it's no longer like a family anymore. I'd like to do something about it, but I have no game plan at the moment. Although, I've made a few new friends and they're all good people, they're not like the friends I have at BCC. My personality allows me to be so close to people that I actually have several "second" families. When I was at Hancock, I missed my boys and my actual family badly. I couldn't wait to get out of there. It was also a wake-up call. When I was at BCC, Dan and Chris had my back no matter what. When I was away from them, I got screwed with pretty badly and there wasn't a damn thing they could do about it. It was just a taste of what life's gonna be like when they're not around. I haven't seen Chris in a few weeks and I haven't seen Dan in months. I've talked to them when that situation happened with Kara, but that's about it. I miss those guys, but since Cortland's not as bad as Hancock, I'm pretty content, here. The people are nicer, there's stuff to do, so although I miss my friends, I'm doing pretty good. I plan on giving them a call, this week. That's another thing. It seems like their cell phone's always off. I might try the house phone just to see how those guys are doing. Next month, I have a Thanksgiving break, so I might get to see them. If not, I'll just wait until my Christmas break.

New Friends And Old Ones.

This weekend hasn't been too bad. Friday could've been a little better. I went out, because it was Friday and I really didn't wanna spend the night in my dorm. So, I went out. Nothing major happened. I hung out with Shaun and James again. I ended up going back to Shaun's apartment for a little while. I tried to catch a bus back to my dorm, but both buses passed me, so I asked Shaun if I could stay at his place. He said sure, but he felt bad, because he ran out of blankets. So, I didn't sleep...at all. Around 6:40 in the morning, I went to the bus stop to see when the buses were supposed to come around again. At first I thought they were coming around 7:30 am. Then, I looked closer and saw they should be coming 8:05 am. Well, around 9:00, I was tired of waiting and just walked back to my dorm. It wasn't that far of a walk, but it would've been nice to have taken a bus. I fell asleep for a good five hours. Then, I ran into one of my new friends that I've met, since I've been here. His name's Andy. We hung out and watched a few episodes of the Boondocks. I've never seen the Boondocks before, but I've been missing out. The only real complaint I have about it is that they drop the "N" word a lot. Although, the racist black guy was funny as hell. Andy had to do homework, so I went to get food. I hung out alone in my dorm for a bit, then went to get a milkshake. I ran into Andy again, but this time, he wasn't alone. He invited me to hang out with him and his friends for a few hours. I was all for that. It was Saturday night. Who the hell wants to spend Saturday night alone? So, I met his friends, Frankie and Josh. We rented this old 80's horror flick called Evil Dead 2. Man, I forgot how bad 80's horror flicks were. This one was pretty bad, but I'd still like to see the first and third ones. Tonight, I might get to see TNA Bound for Glory. The key word is MIGHT. It's up to James' friend. Lately, the WWE Pay Per Views haven't lived up to the hype. I hope TNA doesn't fall in the same trap. This past week, I read old LJ posts of one of my old friends back in high school and part of college. He was pretty pathetic back then. It's funny, because he took great pleasure of laughing at my pain when things weren't working out with Ashley. Then, his girlfriend broke up with him and he became a big emo bitch. Not only that, but he'd try to force himself on every girl he came across. His reputation suffered after a while. It's also funny, because he'd always think he was better than me. We were good friends, but it's like...dude, are you serious? People know his rep and they know mine. So, if given the choice of who they prefer, I'm very confident that they'd choose me. I have several circles of friends. He has like one or two. Not only that, but I'm creating a new circle here at Cortland. Most of the people that know him, don't really like him. He feels like he has no limits when it comes to girls. He pretty-much degrades them, but claims he has respect for the female race. It's very funny when he finds a girl that he likes that has a boyfriend. He'll talk down to the boyfriend and try to be this alpha male. Then, when the girl finally tells him that he has no chance in hell, he'll go all emo. I bring this up, because for years, he's acted like this alpha-male and it hasn't really paid off. I can't count the number of times that several people wanted to kick his ass. Basically, I'm better than him. I'm just disappointed that it took me this long to finally realize that. Normally, I wouldn't say I'm better than anybody, but in this case, I'm a hell of a lot better. The best part is that everyone knows it.

Taking It Back

I'm kind of burnt out right now, but I'm gonna do my best. First of all, last Wednesday was my birthday. Yay, 23 years old and another year closer to death. Ok, I'm just kidding about the death part. I called up Zimmer and Cummings that night. Zimmer was busy, but Shaun and James came to get me. We played cards and drank for a few hours. It was a fun time. UFC started last week. They're doing the same thing this time around as last time. There were fights just to get in the house. They're over now, so the real fun begins next week. I went home last weekend and my parents spoiled the HELL out of me. I visited my old college last Friday. I saw Nate, but I ignored him for the most part. It turns out that he's not too fond of me anyways. Well, I never gave him a reason to dislike me, but if he wants one, I'd be more than happy to give him one. He's an asshole, so screw him. I had three tests, this week. Two of them didn't go well. That's why I'm burnt out, right now. I need to do well on the remaining ones and I'll be fine. Today, I had a presentation. It was a group thing, so it wasn't just me. This one girl was stupid as hell. She's a bossy little bitch too. Well, when it was my turn to present my part, she butted in rather rudely. That pissed me off to no end. I came very close to saying: "know your place and shut up!" I didn't, because that would've been sexus and assholish. Last night, I went on this "take back the night" walk. We walked around the town of Cortland protesting against rape. During the walk, I had a flashback of something that happened in 2006. I remember waiting for my mom to come get me from college. I ran into Cody and he invited me to Will Wallack's party. I went to that and got completely hammered. Too hammered actually. I puked my guts out, that night. I have a good friend by the name of Ric Keiser. When he went to BCC, him and I were tight. He had this scary, slutty girlfriend in 2006. She was also at the party, but he had to work. Anyways, her and I took the same bedroom. She was more drunk than I was. She kissed my neck a lot. She also undid my belt. I went back out to the living room asking for someone to take care of her for me. Someone did go in, but I ended up back in the room with her. I finally drifted off to sleep when I heard Scott Hoyt come in the room. Throughout the entire night, Hoyt kept giving me a condom. He said I needed it more than I did. I kept throwing it back at him, saying I wasn't going to do anything. At this point, Hoyt thought he was a ladies' man that could touch whatever and whoever he wanted. Truth be told, he was just a pathetic schmuck. Well, he climbed in bed with the two of us and I heard kissing noises. I told them to keep it down and Keiser's girlfriend kicked me to the floor. So, I left the room. What happened next, only Hoyt knows. I DO know that she doesn't remember doing anything and if it hadn't been for my recollection of the night, she'd never have known. I've been kicking myself about this for years, now. I know I could've done more. It can't be proven, but I still think something happened in that room. I had to be the one to tell Keiser what happened. The poor guy had a breakdown right there on the spot. I felt worse than I've ever felt. Keiser never blamed me for anything. In fact, he said I was a good friend and thanked me. Still, I know I could've done something about it. I get so pissed off when the people that WEREN'T at the party say: "If I was there, I'd have grabbed Hoyt by the back of his neck and thrown him out of that room." They wouldn't have done anything. They'd have been passed out drunk in the living room with the others. That's how the rest of them were. Next time something like this happens, I'm going to do something about it. No more being a coward. I'm gonna do the right thing, next time.

A New Enemy

Robin called me three times on Saturday. Her and Kara were hanging out while I was stuck at Cortland. Around 8:00 at night, Robin had called me for the third time. Even though I had talked to Kara last week, I still asked Robin how she was doing. Her answer took me off guard. A guy by the name of Nate Boyce got angry at Kara and as a result, he punched her in the knee about four or five times. Before I continue with the story, let me give you a little background on this guy. I met him during my last month at BCC. Denna and I were always hanging around back then. We were just being our playful selves one day, when he came over to us. "Wow, you're a fighter. That's awesome! We'll have to spar someday," Nate told Denna. Now, that sounds innocent enough. At first, I didn't have a problem with him. But, then he started hanging around Denna and myself quite a bit. Every time, he'd get in a fighter's stance and start tagging her with rights and lefts. Sometimes, Denna would go along with it, but there were times that Denna would say, "Alright, that's enough." But, he wouldn't stop. "There's no such thing as enough," he'd say and he'd keep doing what he was doing. Every time Denna was around, he'd have his hands all over her one way or another. I'd glare at him from where ever I was. It was pissing me off that he was trying to steal my thunder. He had this attitude that he could do whatever he wanted. Especially, when it came to girls. Anyways, he'd flirt with Denna all the time and he'd try to blow up my spot. First of all, I don't take too kindly to that. That's really low in my opinion. At one point, when he was messing around with Denna, he almost pulled her arm out of socket. She punched him hard and went over to the other side of the room. I was about to do something about it, but Denna gave me a look. Ever since Nate saw Denna and I playing around, he became attracted to her. The interesting part was that Denna at the time was engaged. Denna knew that I was becoming more and more jealous each day. One Friday, she came to hang out with me at my work. When she came through the door, the first sentence she said to me was, "don't hate me. I just see Nate as a friend and nothing more." I never said anything to Denna about her and Nate, but it was obvious enough that I didn't like it. I told her that I'd try to be cool with everything. Then, she said that if she wasn't engaged, the person she'd be with, would be me. We hung out and everything was cool. There was one day that my anger got the best of me. Denna and I were supposed to hang out. She called me up to ask me to call Bridgette. She wanted me to tell Bridgette not to come for another hour. I said that I really didn't wanna talk to Bridgette if I could help it. Denna got pissed and told me to just forget it. Around this time, Kelcie had just started going out with Cody. I was hanging out with her, then she asked if I wanted to go get something to eat and hang at her house. As we were leaving, my cell phone rang. It was Nate wondering where Kelcie and I were going. I told him not to worry about it. Denna called me later that day, wondering where I was. When I told her, she got jealous. I had to come back to college for my last class. After the class was done, I went to see Denna. She was on the phone, so I waited. Bridgette started to talk to me about how I should've hung out with Denna. I got pissed off for two reasons. One...I did nothing wrong. Two...I can't stand Bridgette and didn't want her getting involved with MY business. Next thing I know, Denna's screaming at me, Bridgette's putting in her two cents, and I'm about to flip out. That's what happens. I scream at Bridgette to stay out of my business, then this other guy that I can't stand gets involved. I scream at him to shut the hell up. He stands up grinning with his arms out. I felt provoked, so I sprung out of my chair and swung at him. Nate got between us and I stormed out of the building. Denna chased after me. Mainly, to apologize for everything. I calmed down and gave her a big hug to let her know everything was alright. Nate did confess to me that he had an affection for Denna and he "knew my pain." The fact is that Nate had no chance in hell with her. Also, it wasn't just Denna that he'd try to get with. It seemed like any girl I was hanging out with, he'd try to blow up my spot regardless if he had a chance or not. as for Denna, if it weren't for her fiance, her and I would probably be dating. In fact, let me get all of this off my chest while I'm in the right mood. I'm not proud of what Denna and I did behind her fiance's back, but I have no regrets. Denna and I are still friends and we still talk at least once a week. However, I think she's made several stupid decisions. Her wedding on the fourth of July was ridiculous. The fact that she moved to Kansas, I find ridiculous. Overall, I don't think her marriage will last. She's just as guilty as I am for everything we've done, this year. However, whenever I'd confront those issues, she'd get pissed off and shut down. Although, I have no hatred or angry feelings towards her, I still think she has a lot of growing up to do. She just couldn't admit that what we were doing was wrong. She only stopped acting this way after our friends started to get involved. Alright, That's about it and that pretty-much covers the background story on Nate. Now, here's what I heard happened. Nate was being his usual jackass self and Kara asked him to stop. He didn't stop and had his feet on her. She pushed his feet off her and he got pissed. So, he punched her in the knee four or five times. When I heard that Nate had done this, rage fueled my body. Kara's an amazing person. In fact, the world could use more people like her. For some asshole to lay a hand on her, just makes my blood boil. Unfortunately, I'm at Cortland. It's not like I could just go to BCC on Monday to take care of this. Luckily, there was something I could do. I gave my boys, Dan and Chris a call. They assured me that they'd have a talk with this asshole for me. I'm going home this weekend, so I plan on stopping up to BCC on Friday. I will admit that I'm hoping to run into Nate, so that I can also talk to him. There's also a few people that I wanna see, because I miss them. I did talk to Kara to see if she was alright. She says that she is, but I think that she'd feel a lot better if she saw me. With my friends, it's like this. I'm close to about 98% of my friends to the point that they're not really friends. They're family. I'm half-Italian, so family means a lot to me. If you mess with my family, there will be consequences. Especially if it's a man hitting a girl.

Two Fun Weekends

I went to that Independent show with Keith Zimmer and Shaun Cummings on Saturday. Before the show, I hung out with Cody and Kelcie for a couple of hours. Then, I met my parents for dinner before going to the show. This one was called ECPW. Now, Keith and Shaun are my boys, but they have this habit of trying to make themselves more important than they really are. Especially when it comes to pro wrestling. Keith was bragging for months that ECPW had a lot of big stars involved. He acted like he was the booker for the entire thing. Well, the fact of the matter is this. Keith isn't as important to ECPW as he thinks. Basically, the actual booker tells Keith to do this or that and Keith does it. Some of these jobs are to collect tickets, get water or beer for the wrestlers, help them find their hotel, stuff like that. Stuff that anybody with two hands and a brain can do. As far as their big stars go. There was a former WWE wrestler called Nunzio at the event. He was nice and signed for me, but that was their only big star that night. ECPW lost a ton of money putting on that show for Binghamton. Only 99 people showed up. Also, the ring looked to be in poor condition. The canvas was taped up due to all the rips it suffered. Their sound system was also a problem due to the fact that they really didn't have one. They used a CD player and a microphone. Long story short, it was unorganized and poorly performed. It was unprofessional. Keith's lips are planted on the booker's ass 24/7 and I don't really see what's so special about the booker at all. Keith's a good guy, but I honestly don't see ECPW going anywhere. The wrestlers themselves were good. They were extremely nice too. Keith, Shaun, and some of the guys that performed that night went out to dinner with us. Keith covered me, which I appreciated. We ended up coming back to Cortland at 3:30 in the morning. The next day, I did my thing and returned to the room later on. When I did, the first thing I noticed was that my roommate had a sling on. He separated his shoulder during his football game. It's gotten better, since then, but he couldn't play in his game, today. My grandmother sent me some money, so I could do my laundry. I also finally gave in and told my dad that I was in desperate need of cash. He said no problem and put some money in my account. So, I went out drinking with Keith, Shaun, and their friend, James who also went to the ECPW show. I noticed a few perks when hanging out with Keith and his friends. The important one being that they usually have a couple pretty and single girls around. Going to the bars in Cortland is no different than going to the bars in Binghamton. Except for the fact that beer is cheaper in Cortland. Usually, when I go out to a bar, I'm looking to hook up with someone. Nine times out of ten, that usually doesn't happen. However, it's especially hard to do that when Shaun's fat ass is being loud and degrading the girls around us. So, I didn't have any success with that, last night. Sometimes, going out by myself benefits me better. The Ultimate Fighter: Season 8 starts this Wednesday on my birthday. Speaking of UFC, Brock Lesnar's fighting my favorite UFC fighter, Randy Coture. That's not until November, though.

Could've Been Better

I ended up going to Candor for the weekend. Seth called me up around 1:00 in the afternoon. Him and his family were going to the New York State fair and they had an extra ticket. They picked me up at the college. I met Danny's girlfriend's cousin and her boyfriend. Sadly her boyfriend's a douche bag. Nobody in the family likes him. I didn't see anything wrong with him at first, but then he flipped out over something stupid and I saw their point. Anyways, Seth's mom asked if I'd like to stay over at Candor for the rest of the weekend. I jumped at the opportunity. I hadn't been in Candor in months. We got back to Candor a little after 11:30 at night. Seth's brother and Marcy came home shortly after us. I could tell Marcy missed me. She smiled brightly and gave me a big hug. The next night, we went to this drive-in movie theater. The movies that I chose to watch weren't that good. Also, I prefer a regular movie theater. There's less distractions. So, that was kind of a bust, but whatever. It got me off the college and saved me from what could've possibly been a boring weekend. Labor day was nothing special. I came back to the college and just watched TV. Still, my labor day was better than my roommate's. His girlfriend's been jealous of his good friend, Kristi. Kristi was the first person I met at Cortland. She's a nice girl. Anyways, she has a thing for my roommate, Joe and she admitted it last week. Joe doesn't like confrontation, so he's been hanging out with Kristi at nights. He finally told his girlfriend about it and she wasn't too happy. He's been sucking up to her all week and now he's avoiding Kristi. He did nothing wrong from my point of view, but when I discussed this with Robin, she basically said, "He had to have done something wrong if he was sneaking around." So, I really don't know who's in the right. Also, Cody's girlfriend, Kelcie's upset that she's gonna lose him. Kelcie's already thinking about the future and her dream is to get a degree in film, then move to California. Well, Cody wants to stay in New York. He basically said that when she moves, their relationship will be over. I think he's being a stubborn bastard, but that's just me. Basically, this week could've been better for a number of reasons. This weekend, I'll be in the Binghamton area. I'm gonna check out that Indy show, then I'm coming back to Cortland later that night. Sunday, I'm gonna TRY to see Unforgiven. It's not looking good at the moment, though. Worst case scenario, I wait for the DVD to come out.