Taking It Back

I'm kind of burnt out right now, but I'm gonna do my best. First of all, last Wednesday was my birthday. Yay, 23 years old and another year closer to death. Ok, I'm just kidding about the death part. I called up Zimmer and Cummings that night. Zimmer was busy, but Shaun and James came to get me. We played cards and drank for a few hours. It was a fun time. UFC started last week. They're doing the same thing this time around as last time. There were fights just to get in the house. They're over now, so the real fun begins next week. I went home last weekend and my parents spoiled the HELL out of me. I visited my old college last Friday. I saw Nate, but I ignored him for the most part. It turns out that he's not too fond of me anyways. Well, I never gave him a reason to dislike me, but if he wants one, I'd be more than happy to give him one. He's an asshole, so screw him. I had three tests, this week. Two of them didn't go well. That's why I'm burnt out, right now. I need to do well on the remaining ones and I'll be fine. Today, I had a presentation. It was a group thing, so it wasn't just me. This one girl was stupid as hell. She's a bossy little bitch too. Well, when it was my turn to present my part, she butted in rather rudely. That pissed me off to no end. I came very close to saying: "know your place and shut up!" I didn't, because that would've been sexus and assholish. Last night, I went on this "take back the night" walk. We walked around the town of Cortland protesting against rape. During the walk, I had a flashback of something that happened in 2006. I remember waiting for my mom to come get me from college. I ran into Cody and he invited me to Will Wallack's party. I went to that and got completely hammered. Too hammered actually. I puked my guts out, that night. I have a good friend by the name of Ric Keiser. When he went to BCC, him and I were tight. He had this scary, slutty girlfriend in 2006. She was also at the party, but he had to work. Anyways, her and I took the same bedroom. She was more drunk than I was. She kissed my neck a lot. She also undid my belt. I went back out to the living room asking for someone to take care of her for me. Someone did go in, but I ended up back in the room with her. I finally drifted off to sleep when I heard Scott Hoyt come in the room. Throughout the entire night, Hoyt kept giving me a condom. He said I needed it more than I did. I kept throwing it back at him, saying I wasn't going to do anything. At this point, Hoyt thought he was a ladies' man that could touch whatever and whoever he wanted. Truth be told, he was just a pathetic schmuck. Well, he climbed in bed with the two of us and I heard kissing noises. I told them to keep it down and Keiser's girlfriend kicked me to the floor. So, I left the room. What happened next, only Hoyt knows. I DO know that she doesn't remember doing anything and if it hadn't been for my recollection of the night, she'd never have known. I've been kicking myself about this for years, now. I know I could've done more. It can't be proven, but I still think something happened in that room. I had to be the one to tell Keiser what happened. The poor guy had a breakdown right there on the spot. I felt worse than I've ever felt. Keiser never blamed me for anything. In fact, he said I was a good friend and thanked me. Still, I know I could've done something about it. I get so pissed off when the people that WEREN'T at the party say: "If I was there, I'd have grabbed Hoyt by the back of his neck and thrown him out of that room." They wouldn't have done anything. They'd have been passed out drunk in the living room with the others. That's how the rest of them were. Next time something like this happens, I'm going to do something about it. No more being a coward. I'm gonna do the right thing, next time.