I'll Never Forget Again

Last weekend was a blast. Swartz and I hit up Jersey Saturday and Sunday. Saturday, we got pretty hammered. A little too hammered. Swartz ended up puking and I had a hangover the next morning. I thought that I'd get to meet more wrestlers than I did at the Fan Axxess event. Unfortunately, I only met four of them. Still, it was a lot of fun. At Wrestlemania, I was indeed up in the nosebleed section, but at least I was there. I even got a t-shirt that said I was. It was a lot better than last year's Wrestlemania, but I liked last year's too. The best part of the evening... seeing The Undertaker beat CM Punk. He's 21-0 and I couldn't be happier with that. That win helped me get out of my rut that I've been in. John Cena beat The Rock for the WWE Championship in the main event. I'll hand it to The Rock, he gave Cena the respect he deserved. Also, I got a position on 1st shift at Willow Run Foods doing pretty-much what I do now. However, one of the scumbags on 3rd shift tried to throw a wrench in that. This 19 year old retard has a hard enough time trying to make it on our shift let alone one on 1st. The boss has done his best to keep us away from each other. One day, his mouth will get his ass beat. It'll probably happen sooner than later. So, all is right in the world. Well, at least for now. I hung out with Helen and her sister, Judy yesterday. Her husband showed up later on and ended up hanging with me as the girls got their hair done. I'm glad I'm a guy. It takes maybe a half hour to cut my hair. For them, it took about three hours. Before we picked up Judy, I finally told Helen everything I've wanted. Well, at least the important stuff. There's a couple things that didn't hit me until later. I honestly don't know what it was about Helen that made me crazy about her when I first met her, but I know what kept me thinking about her. I just read all of our conversations on Facebook. There were things she said that I had totally forgotten about until I re-read them. Things like how she would playfully call me a pretty-boy. There was a really long conversation we had on there once, where I'd get notifications that said "Helen likes your photo." As we were talking, she was checking out my pictures and liking the ones that she thought I looked good in. During one of our conversations, she said I was a handsome pretty-boy with a mix of street fighter and a little bit of country. She playfully said that it was hard to resist. The reason I gave up and ended up dating Tina, was because I forgot about all of this. Still, I'll never forget the way she looked at me when I picked her and her son up to take them over to Judy's. I was supposed to take them to the ER, so her son could have his eye looked at, but she asked to stop at Judy's real quick. The entire time, she didn't take her eyes off me. She was smiling this smile... kind of like admiration and thankfulness. To this day, I think she was starting to become attracted to me. I think it scared her a bit. I can't blame her for that. Her husband screwed her up pretty good. Yesterday, she said that I'm one of her close friends and that was a huge accomplishment. She said that not too many people have been able to get close to her like I have. I bet it all goes back to that afternoon that I came and got her and her son. Even though we're just friends, she still looks at me a certain way that she doesn't to anyone else including her husband. There was another time that I had to take her to a drug test, so she could be employed at a job she applied to. Her son was with us. When we had to cross the street, she said "hand, Jay." Instead of taking her hand, he grabbed hold of mine. She joked about being sad that he didn't grab her hand, but she was smiling at me. She's told me that her son doesn't like too many guys that are around her, but for some reason, he liked me. I don't understand how I could've forgotten about all this, but I'm not going to dwell on it. Helen and I have a friendship that's unique for the two of us and that's better than nothing. I don't think her husband knows how fortunate he is. That girl's incredible and I have a suspicion that he doesn't even realize it. I look at him and I try to figure out how the hell he got so lucky. Maybe it's not meant to be understood. This past weekend got me back to being how I was. I'm not about to let that fade by thinking of what could've been. Now that my smile's back, I'm picking up where I left off. Starting with getting back to 1st shift.

A Special Someone.

I'm always surprised with how much difference a year can make. One of my greatest flaws is that I dwell on the past way too much. I can't get over how much has changed over the years. Then again, some things have stayed the same. One of my old co-workers from the shop disappeared for a few months. I thougth he was gone for good. Then, out of the blue when I needed someone to be my designated driver, he texted me. He agreed to be my designated driver and met us in Binghamton. I don't know why Binghamton celebrates St. Patrick's Day so early, but whatever. It was Kelcie, myself, and Nic who was the DD. Nic's hung out with Kelcie and me before. He knows (as does everyone else) how I feel about Kelcie. I think the guy's legitimately concerned about me. I think he's afraid that she'll push me off the edge. I honestly don't know what it is about, her, but she has me under some kind of spell. It's not the first time. There have been other girls that have had me under their spell. But I've broken free. With Kelcie, it's a lot harder. I know she and I will never be together, but I still cling on to that little bit of hope that's not there. Deep down, I think Kelcie does truly care about me. Her and I have a lot in common. We're both only children, we both love getting attention, and we're used to getting our way. Her and I have been through a lot. Both together and on our own. Her and I have had our disagreements. I don't know why, but no matter how bad it looks, she'll call me up after she's cooled down. There have been close friends that she's cut out of her life. She usually doesn't give second chances let alone several like I've been given. I just don't understand it. All my friends and even some of my family says that all she does is use me, but the problem with that theory is... she doesn't ask me for anything. Other than to pick her up. She doesn't ask me to pay for dinner, give her a massage, buy her things she wants. That's on me, not her. I'd do it for any girl that's with me. Hell, when I'd hang out with Denna, I'd pay for lunch or whatever it was. It's just that I'm usually always hanging out with Kelcie, so she reaps the benefits. Nic's trying to fix me up with one of his friends. I'm all for it, because at the end of the day, he's right. I'm not gonna find anyone by always hanging out with Kelcie. I love Kelcie and I'm glad we're friends, but I can't wait forever. I gotta take care of me. Of course, as I say that, I'm trying to convince myself of that more than anybody else. Kelcie and I will always be friends, but I'm wondering if she can cope with not having my full attention when I finally do find someone. I'll still hang out with her, but we won't be alone. And I won't be able to cover the bill. I just hope she'll be mature enough to handle that. If not, then bye bye, blackbird.

A Difference A Year Can Make.

I know it's been a long time, since I updated this thing. I've been too busy to sit down and write up an update of everything that's going on. I can't believe I didn't mention it last year, but Kelcie ended up getting pregnant with Jon's baby. She had a baby girl. Jon hasn't changed at all. In fact, he's getting worse. She's had him arrested several times. The funny part is that he's trying to get custody of their daughter. He doesn't stand a chance. I finally made it out of the shop. I work in Kirkwood now at Willow Run Foods. At first, I was working a 2nd shift position. Mike Sisson told me about it, I filled out an application, had a job interview, and next thing I know, I have a new job. Well, 2nd shift didn't work out too well. So, they put me on a 3rd shift position. For the most part, I hate it. My co-workers don't really show me respect, the hours suck, and the job itself isn't any better. I'm a freakin' warehouse cleaner. Worst part is that my area is the freezer. A negative ten degrees. What's keeping me there is the fact that the benefits are amazing. Not to mention they have a 401K program and unlike the shop, this place actually shows their appreciation for their employees. I still go to a lot of indy wrestling shows. Keith Zimmer and some of the ECPW wrestlers broke away from Gino and tried to do their own thing. At first, everything was going good. Then, the promoter fired Keith and started went on a huge power trip. Keith went back to work for Gino and so far,they're crushing their competition. Over the past couple years, I got to know most of these guys personally. When I started going to these shows, I didn't think that I'd get a backstage pass into these guys' lives. I'm not complaining. Quite the opposite actually. I love the guys. Usually, it's very rare for a fan to be seen hanging out with pro wrestlers OUTSIDE of the ring. In my case, I'm an exception. Hell, they invite me to chill with them nine times out of ten. I occassionally go to Candor. Since Seth no longer lives there, it makes it a little bit easier to go there. It still acts like a haven for when things get intense. I went there the weekend before Halloween. Friday, it was drinking with Aaron and Marcy. It's been a while, since I've gotten hammered. Ever since I got my license, I don't drink as much as I used to, mainly because I have to drive home. Danny lives in Johnson City with his new girlfriend, so I can't really crash there. I could go to Mike's, but him and I work odd hours and our days off differ, so that's out. Candor/Owego's the only place I can really drink and have a place to stay. I usually end up being a designated driver for Kelcie. It's hard to believe that her and I have been friends for three years already. Again, that's another thing I didn't expect to happen. I didn't think that I'd become close with Kelcie when I first met her. Then again, I was all about Denna when I met her. I thought Denna was gonna be my girlfriend. Kelcie warned me about the games she plays, but it was too late. A year later, all that stuff went down between Kelcie and Marshal. That poor girl hasn't had it easy. The past couple years have been rough for her. People have either tried to kick her when she's down or they've stabbed her in the back. Everyone but me. Even when her and I weren't on the best of terms earlier this year, I didn't say a bad word about her. I just "washed my hands" or everything. I should've known that wouldn't last. A month went by and she ended up calling me. Not only was everything forgiven and forgotten, but things have been better than they ever were. As far as work goes, I'm starting to slowly earn the respect of my co-workers. At the shop, I pretty-much had it, but that was due to the fact that my dad worked there as well. Also, the shop had guys in their 30's and 50's working there. They were grown ass men. Most of the guys that work at Willow Run are in their early and mid 20's. The maturity level plays a huge factor. I'll be the first to admit I'm not the most mature person for being 26. But, I know when to back off. The boss is a bigger bully than Doug Gardner. Then again, Doug knew me, so he didn't really bully me. Things are better than 2009 and part of 2010, but there's always room for improvement. I'm looking for another shift at Willow. I plan on sticking around, but if things get worse, something's gotta give. Either I leave Willow Run and go somewhere else or I find a better fit in Willow Run.

My Favorite Girl

I've been pretty busy these past few months. Christmas didn't really feel like Christmas, New Year's was alright. I saw both Seth and Cody on New Year's Eve. I couldn't hit either of them, because it was Seth's birthday and there were police everywhere. I forget where Kelcie was, but I should've gone and hung out with her. Instead, I hung out with Denna and her boyfriend from California. Yeah... another long distance relationship that she's in. Apparently, she didn't learn her lesson the first time. Oh well, it doesn't really matter. I also hung out with Danny on New Year's Eve. I still hate my job. In fact, after this week, I'm looking to find a new job. I will have worked there for three months. Although, the pay is good and everything, I need to get out of there. I've been drinking a lot since working there. Two weeks ago, dad and I stopped at a bar almost every night of the week. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, we were drinking. There was one Friday night that we stopped at this bar in Johnson City and a bunch of people from work were there. That was a fun time. There's someone that works at Akraturn that knows Kelcie very well. She told me that her and her parents have had conversations about me that were all about good things. Speaking of Kelcie, she's now 21 years old and she calls me weekly. Wednesday, her, Julie, and a guy that I work with, went to Thirsty's. After that, we met my dad at the bowling alley. Kelcie's dating one of my friends from a few years back. He's not a bad guy, but he's not me. Well, she was flirting with me at the bowling alley. When I walked her and Julie out to her car, she gave me a kiss that I normally wouldn't get. Friday, her, her boyfriend, Julie, her sister, and me went out to dinner. Most of us were dressed up. Julie's sister wasn't. During dinner, her boyfriend went up to the bar to talk to someone. Kelcie leaned over and gave me a peck on the cheek. Wednesday and Friday night, she told me several times that she loves me. Kelcie has a special place in her heart for me that I didn't even know was there. Kelcie said that I saved her life over the summer. Her boyfriend said that I was in almost every story that she ever told him. She said that I was her best friend. Out of everyone that went out to dinner on Friday, the only one that she really cared about having a good time was me. I had no idea that I meant that much to her. Saturday, Robin and I delivered her wedding dress to her. Long story about that one. Anyway, Robin noticed that Kelcie looked at me differently than she did her boyfriend or anyone else. Kelcie has this wink that she only does with me. Robin said she felt that Kelcie and I have this connection that no one else has. Unfortunately, Kelcie's not single anymore. I have everyone and their brother telling me that doesn't matter. I'm not so sure about that. Kelcie means the world to me and I'd love to be the one to make her happy, but if there's someone else that's making her happy, then it would be selfish of me to interfere in that. After that Wednesday that I hung out with her, I felt like a million bucks on Thursday. I was working at a place that I hate with a passion, but I knew I'd see her on Friday, so it didn't matter. Robin said that's how I should know there's a connection. It doesn't matter what kind of day either of us have. Just hanging out together, makes any bad day into a good one. Kelcie had a rough summer or so she thought. It wasn't until she stopped and looked back on it, that she realized that her summer actually wasn't all that bad, because her and I did so many things together. I probably should have been doing more active things over the summer like get a job, pay the bills I have, look for my own place. Instead, I was making sure I was always available if she needed me. I was always there. The price that I paid was that my dad was always on my case. Him and I had a few arguments over the summer. Kelcie appreciates that. I'm her hero. I remember growing up that's what I wanted to be. Of course the image changed from when I was a kid, but I still wanted to be a hero in some way. As rough as Kelcie's summer was, it was also not that great for me as well. I had my father on my case and I felt like a loser. Hell, I was a loser. Kelcie didn't think so. We'd help get rid of each other's misery. When I was hanging out with her, I didn't feel like a loser. Well... that one date that she had to drive to the restaraunt, I did feel like a loser then. But, other than that, I didn't feel like a loser. I felt like I was needed. I was always the first person she'd call if she needed someone to talk to. If I didn't answer my cell phone, she'd call my friends to see where I was. I'd do anything it took to get her to smile. She told me that she appreciated everything that I've done for her. When we were at this bar on Friday, I let her buy me a drink. I usually don't let girls do that, but I let her. She can get away with things like that. Then again, I'm sure there are things she lets me do that she won't let anyone else. I'm gonna see if she wants to watch a movie with Danny and me on Friday. I'll probably call her to see if she wants to chill with me at the bowling alley on Wednesday too. Although, she may be taken by someone, she's still my best friend. She already said that we'd still be hanging out. That's all I can really ask for, really.

30 Bad Days.

This month was probably the worst month, this year. It began with the passing of my grandfather. My grandfather always had a bad heart, but it was still a shock when he died on September 2nd. I wasn't feeling too good that week. He called me to see how I was feeling on the 2nd. He sounded alright. He had gotten out of the hospital a week before. Later that night, I was going to make myself something to eat when my dad said that we had to go to the hospital. He did 90 the entire way there. When we got there, a nurse informed us that my grandfather had died. He had a heart attack. The ambulance was delayed, because someone got in a motorcycle accident. Here's the interesting part. My ex-girlfriend's father hit a deer on his motorcycle and three ambulances rushed over to the scene. As a result, my grandfather's didn't arrive until 45 minutes after my grandmother called. I stayed with my grandmother for the entire week. That Saturday, I went to the Harpursville football game that my grandfather wanted to go to. Everybody at Harpursville loved my grandfather and he loved them all back. They had a moment of silence for him. At his calling hours, there was always a line. It didn't stop until the calling hours were over. At his funeral, the church was full. I held up alright until my grandfather's good friend, Glen Stevens hugged me while he was crying. I think he felt bad for me, but I felt bad for him. I think both of us knew that, but there wasn't anything we could do to get rid of the pain. After the funeral, I decided to talk to Denna and find out what was said. After a few tension filled moments, everything was fine. I hung out with her a few weeks ago. My birthday was coming up and I wanted to hang out with a select few people. We had a party at Danny's. Even though Kelcie had a boyfriend and a wedding to go to, she made it. I couldn't have been more glad. I thought that she'd ditch hanging out with me after she had a boyfriend. I forgot that she has more class than that. My old high school friend, Heather came as well. Her and I have been hanging out and talking a little bit more than we have, since meeting back up at the bar, last year. I visited BCC a few times. Robin's been having problems with this one asshole, so I showed up to see to it that he stopped. I hung out with Mike Sisin on one of those days. He pretty-much screwed things up with Kelcie. I don't think he realizes how stupid some of his decisions really are. Still, he's my boy and even though they're not talking, I'm friends with both of them. He called me, last week to let me know that he got a friend of his pregnant and he chose me to be the child's godfather. He's scared out of his mind, but he screwed up. Now, he needs to face the consequences. Danny got me a job where he works, but it's nothing to jump for joy about. I only work every other Friday and they're always busy on those days. I was overwhelmed on my first night. Lucky for me, the cooks are awesome. Smokey helped me get caught up. I owe him a beer even though he says I don't need to buy him anything. There is some good news to all this. The Ultimate Fighter is back. Quentin Jackson and Rashad Evans are the coaches. They've been talking trash to each other for the past two episodes. Quentin says that he doesn't like Rashad's cocky attitude, but on the show, it's always Quentin that's acting cocky. Rashad's fighters won the first two fights. They weren't anything spectacular. In fact, they were horrible. The fighters aren't that good, this season. However, tonight is when Internet sensations Kimbo Slice fights former IFL Fighter, Roy Nelson. It could honestly go either way. Kimbo's stand-up game is excellent, but he doesn't have much of a ground game. Roy's pretty well-rounded. It should be a good fight.

Storybook Ending

Last week was pretty interesting. Monday, Mike Sisin called me up. He vented a little bit about Kelcie. His main problem is that he no longer wants to play around, so he's looking for someone that feels the same way. On top of that, he wants to get with Kelcie. The problem with that is for one thing, she's still not over that egotistical, manipulative, asshole, Cody. Another thing is that she's not ready to jump in a relationship with anyone. She's tried several times, but because she's not over Cody, they've all failed. Mike and Kelcie have done a few things together, but the problem is that to Kelcie, they meant nothing. To Mike, they meant something. He was irritated that she still won't date him due to the fact that they've hung out for the past two weeks along with everything they did. I'm gonna say this one last time. If anyone has a reason to bitch about not dating Kelcie, it's me. Again, here are the reasons why. I've taken her out to dinner twice, I took her to the movies once, I've had to listen to her talk about Cody 24/7, I've watched her cry about it several times, and when everyone else was against her, I stood by her whenever she needed me. However, I'm not bitching about it. What Mike needs to do, is just accept the fact that they're probably only going to be friends...like her and I are. We headed over there to find that Kelcie was stressed and upset. Kelcie also informed me that although Denna may act all nice when I'm around or talking to her online, she acts differently towards me behind closed doors. That pissed me off a great deal. Here's this girl that has played me, Cory, and that loser ex-husband of hers, and she has the nerve to say that I'm too clingy and annoying. It was her that came back and talked to me. I was perfectly fine not talking to her. What was all that about? Did she just do that to sooth her guilty conscience? Before, I actually did care about Denna and I'll even admit that I felt sorry for her. But, after hearing how freakin' two-faced she really is, that amount of pity is gone. Denna's an immature, stupid, little slut that doesn't know what she wants and is gonna piss off the wrong person someday. This stupid little slut complains about me when she cheated on her husband TWICE??? Hell, I'm ten times better than Denna will ever be. When I get married, I'm not gonna have to worry about my wife cheating on me and she won't have to worry about me either. There will be no divorce. That will be it for both of us. Because Kelcie was upset and I was pissed, Mike suggested hanging out for a bit. So, that's what we did. They ended up going to the cabin, but I stayed in Binghamton. I'm not going there unless it's just Mike and me or if there's another girl there for me to hang out with. Tuesday, Robin called me to ask if she could stay at my place for a night. She wasn't getting along with her mom or Johnny and she felt that she was gonna snap. I asked mom, she said it was fine. Then, I hung out with Kelcie for the rest of the day. We picked up Robin and headed back to my place. Dad came home drunk, talked to Robin a bit, then Robin was arguing with her brother about Johnny. Before I continue, I should mention that Robin works for the state as a notery. She can't say "no" to a job that they give her, because it's considered a felony. With that being said, she told her brother on the phone, "if I go to jail because of that son of a bitch, he's going with me." Dad heard her, took me aside, and got in my face about it. I told him to ignore it. She wasn't doing anything wrong, but he kept glaring at me. So, I glared at him back. It wasn't until Robin explained what she meant that he lightened up a bit. The rest of the night went smoothly. Wednesday and Thursday were nothing special. Friday, I got my haircut and some other things that I needed for the wedding on Saturday. Saturday, I found out that we were going to the actual wedding and then going to my dad's boss's pool party until the reception. The wedding wasn't too bad. The only things I'd have changed, would be the temperature inside the church and the person performing the ceremony. It was incredibly hot in the church and the priestess was boring. She had a solemn tone when she spoke as if she were preaching at a funeral. The pool party wasn't too bad. Dad got in all his cheap shots in on me while we were there, which was fine with me. Whenever we're at family gatherings or parties, he usually brings up all of my short-comings. I thought that he'd do the same at the wedding to which I planned on firing back despite the consequences that would follow. However, to my surprise, he didn't do anything like that. We got there a half hour early. I waited outside for Kelcie. She was a half hour late. Man, she looked incredible. I remember looking at the pictures from Denna's wedding. She looked ordinary. She didn't do anything to look above the norm. Then again, I think she knew deep down that this marriage was gonna fail. This wasn't even Kelcie's wedding, but she put in that extra effort and she looked gorgeous. The dinner was excellent. I took Kelcie around and introduced her to my family and friends. Dad liked her. That's real big, because dad doesn't like too many of my friends. In fact, I can count them on one hand. We danced about six times. She kept thanking me for inviting her. I'm glad she made it. At my cousin, Jamie's wedding, the band sucked, Robin was on my ass about her freakin' dogs, and I had no one to dance with. Basically, that wedding wasn't really that good. At Kacie's wedding, the band was better, no one was on my back, and I had someone to dance with. We had a great time. Being at home for long periods at a time, takes it's toll on me. I start feeling bitter and worthless. At Kacie's wedding, I felt like a million bucks. Both Kelcie and myself had a good time. Kelcie and I just went as friends and that's how it stayed. I don't think anything will change as far as that goes. There aren't too many people trying to get with her anymore. Seth's probably still trying to get with Mandy and Calvin has a girlfriend. I don't see us dating, although I don't think I'd mind it. Personally, I think I was the better choice out of all of them. I don't know what Mike's thoughts are on getting with her. Well, for whoever tries, I just have one thing to say. Beat that, boys. That wedding was out of a fantasy story and nobody's gonna be able to top that. Once again, the guy that has no job and no car has blown by everyone. Someday, someone's gonna be very lucky. Whoever it is, I just hope they deserve it.

Drinking And Thinking

Both Team USA and Team UK got wins on The Ultimate Fighter. The reason why Mike Bisping didn't make it to the last fight was because he was in a deep sleep. He said that he's been having jet-lag since coming to Vegas. I still give him a lot of credit, though. He said that it was in-excuseable to no-show for a fight. He lived up to his mistake. Unfortunately, Cameron Dollar won his fight and advanced. I really don't like the guy. The other guy from Team USA was running his mouth about how he was gonna knock his opponent's teeth out. Here's the amusing part. It was HIM that had HIS teeth knocked out in the fight. So, Team UK's up 3-2. No surprise there. On Tuesday, it was Cinco de Mayo. Marcy asked me to come drink with her. Cassandra and Alan were up there as well. I think it's the first time that I drank with them that didn't end with them arguing. Overall, it was a lot of fun. I was pretty damn hammered. It's been a while, since I've gotten that drunk. Three shots of tequila, two shots of vodka, and two beers. Thursday, Cory called me. Apparently, history's repeating itself. Last year, things were going great between Denna and I. Then, everyone started getting involved in our business including Bridgette. Everyone was telling everyone what the other said and no one knew who they could trust. After I left for Hancock, it all subsided...completely. Well, it's happening again, but this time, it's happening to Cory. Except he had someone that he could trust. That person was me. I told him that the same thing happened to me and I'd think of a way to stop it. Seriously, though. Why does everybody care what the hell Denna does? I'm not condoning anything that was done in the past two years, but people need to stay the hell out of it. That's part of the reason why Denna and I didn't date officially. She shut down, because everyone was getting involved. I'm pretty-much over it now, but I don't think it's right that they're doing the same thing to Cory. Hopefully, they'll grow the hell up. Friday, Danny, Seth, and I went to the ECPW show. We sat next to one of the wrestler's wives. She was freakin' cool as hell. The show overall, was probably their best one overall. The cage match was definitely better than 2CW's. Saturday was probably the best day. Despite my misgivings, I went through with my party. Steve Clark picked me up, so we could go get Kelcie and meet the others. When we got to Kelcie's place, I saw a girl that looked like Denna come out of the house. At first, I thought it was Denna. Then, as she got closer to the car, I realized that it was actually Kelcie. She looked just like Denna. She looked incredible. Also, I got to see Tyler Blackman and Dilly. I haven't seen those guys in about a year. There were 14 people there all together. Me, Steve, Kelcie, Dan, Chris, Bridgette, D-Squared (other Dan), Michelle, Dilly, Tyler, Seth, Jay, Danny, and Calvin. Seth and Danny's family showed up later, because Danny and Calvin had to work. The rest of us hung out and played a drinking game called three-man. It's like Kings, but it's not as complicated. Kelcie was trying like hell to get me drunk. I was her primary target. I'll get into that in a little bit. The thing that took me by surprise, was that there was no drama. Well...Dan was going through a little dilemma. He wasn't sure if that night should be "the night." He was nervous. It didn't help that everyone was pressuring him into "doing it." So, I pulled him aside and gave him the best advice that I could. I told him to make sure he was doing it for the right reasons. Well, he decided that it was indeed time. I just hope he doesn't end up regretting it later. So, that leaves Chris and I as the only virgins in the group. He'll probably lose his next. Then, there'll only be one. I'm determined to make sure that I'm with the right girl, before I do anything. I'm still sticking with my decision. Today was mother's day. Mom and Dad came back from Virginia Beach, today. I was over at my grandmother's for most of the day. Now, here's what made my entire weekend. Kelcie called me to let me know that she had a great time at my place. She said the same thing last night. She kept thanking me for inviting her. I told her it was my pleasure. Then, she asked if I could hang out, later. That was the original plan. Well, by the time Seth got his dumbass to my place, she had left already. She felt bad that she missed us, but I assured her that it was alright. I'm taking her out to dinner, later during the week. Here's what I don't get. She told me straight-up that she just wants to be friends. But, Thursday she called me, wondering where I was. I told her that I was home. "Nooo," she groaned. She asked if Seth could bring me over to her place. I said that Seth was watching a movie and I apologized that I couldn't hang out with her, that day. Today, she wanted me to come hang out with her. She comes and finds me every Tuesday and Thursday. The way she acted around me the past few weeks gave me the impression that she was interested. But, she said that she just wants to be friends. I'm a bit confused. Even when she was dating Cody, she didn't hang out with me nearly this much. I'm not complaining about it. In fact, it actually makes me feel pretty damn good that she wants to hang out. But, I just don't understand it. Then again, I'm probably one of the best guy friends that she has. I'm always there when she needs me. I always have been. Even when she was angry with me, I was there if she needed me. Sure, I was a bit bitter when she accused me of screaming at her and when she took out all of her frustration on me, but I still would've been there for her. I do that for all of my friends. Maybe she just appreciates me for that. I know that she cares for me to an extent. She hates to see anything but a smile on my face. I'm the same way with her, though. It could be wishful thinking again. I just don't know. When she was dating Cody, I still could've sworn she was looking at me in a particular way. Kind of like how Denna looked at me, back in the day. I'm not gonna push anything, because that could put a stop to her hanging out with me. I'm just gonna continue being her good friend. Whatever happens, happens.

Only Second Best.

The weekend wasn't too eventful. Friday, I was supposed to meet Seth at The Beef. What happened was that Kelcie called me earlier that day. She asked if I was gonna be at Danny's for a while. I said that I was planning on staying there until I had to go to dinner. She sounded intrigued by that. I kind of learned my lesson after blowing Denna off to watch a PPV, last year. So, I asked Kelcie if she wanted to join me. She said that she'd love to. Well, she brought Calvin with her. I was fine with that, because he was able to cover his meal. I believe that when a girl dines with a guy, it should be the guy who pays. So, I told Kelcie that I'd cover her meal along with mine. Well, Kelcie ordered a $14.00 meal. I was still able to cover us, but she had to leave the tip. Next Saturday, I'm taking her somewhere. I'm not sure where yet, but I'm covering everything. I'll get into that later. Saturday, all of us just kind of hung out. Sunday, I went up to Mike's cabin with him. He said he goes there to clear his head. His dating life is chaotic. There were like four girls that are all interested, but he has no clue what he wants. I couldn't really help him that much, because I don't exactly have four girls after me. Now, getting back to next Saturday. My parents are leaving for Virginia Beach on Wednesday. That leaves me at the house for a few days. Saturday, I planned on having my boys come up. I don't know why, but I have a bad feeling about this. So far, I have Dan, Chris, Steve, Danny, Calvin, Mike, Kelcie, and Seth coming. I may have found a way to leave Dan's girlfriend, Bridgette out of it, completely. So, the only person that could ruin everyone's good time would be Seth. I think Mike, Dan, and Chris would deal with him if that were the case. I don't know what it is, but I have a bad feeling about this. It could just be that there's no other girl for me to chill with. That's really been bugging me, lately. This is gonna go into last year, a little bit. When Denna was around, I wasn't really alone anymore. Then, she played all these games and left. Well, ever since last year, I don't really wanna be alone anymore. I started hanging out with Kelcie again and according to what I described to Denna, she was interested in me. Then, Kelcie tells me straight-up that she's not interested in a relationship with me, but she wants to be friends. I'm fine with that, but Kelcie does want a relationship. I can understand where she's coming from, but that's not really doing me any favors. It's not just her, either. I'm basically everyone's big brother. Everyone likes hanging out with me, but no one's interested in a relationship even though they all know me. Here's just a couple examples of how I treat women. Kelcie was cold, last Saturday AND this past Friday. On Saturday, I took my dress shirt off and wrapped it around her, because that's all I had. On Friday, I gave her my leather jacket. When we went out for dinner, I opened the door for her, I paid for her meal, I was being a gentleman. I do that for every girl around me. I know Kelcie appreciates me. But, I've been single for a while and I'm trying to find something legit. So far, I've just found girls that like to play games and I end up getting used. At least Kelcie was straight-up with me. I'm just getting a little frustrated. I know that I'm better than half of these assholes out there, but I've got nothing. It can get to be discouraging at times. When I don't try, I do end up finding someone, but they usually play games and I get the worst end of it. When I do try, I don't find anything. I don't fully understand it, but it is what it is. I think that I was just born in the wrong generation. If I had been born back when chivalry and respect were valued, then I'd probably have an easier time finding what I'm looking for. When I was at Mike's cabin, I slept in the same room that Denna and I had, last year. Of course, I was swarmed with memories. Denna said when she saw me after coming home the first time, every memory came to her at once. I think I know what she meant after it did the same to me, last night. Maybe if the future looked a little brighter, I wouldn't be dwelling on the past so much. Keeping my head up is getting harder than it used to be. I used to be able to overlook everything. Now, it's not so easy. All I need is one good day or night and I'll be back to how I was. I just wish that the feeling would stick around. Hopefully, that good day will come soon. I need it badly.

A Long Weekend.

My weekend actually started on Thursday. Kelcie grabbed me after her class. She brought me over to her place. Seth called me, so we could figure out what was going on for the weekend. Kelcie told me to have him come over. So, he came over and we all went to hang out elsewhere. We ended up at one of Kelcie's friend's places. Then, we all went to the Cyber Cafe for a while. After that, we dropped off Kelcie's friend and went to visit Danny at his work. He got us some drinks and Kelcie, dessert. We all ended up at his place after that. Seth and I stayed the night, but Kelcie went home. Friday, I had lunch with my mom and picked up my suit for Saturday. Danny invited all of us to his sister's 15th birthday. I forget the term for the celebration, but it's one of those formal affairs. Then, I headed back to my house to pack for the weekend. I didn't do much in Candor, but it was relaxing. Saturday, we met Danny at the church. He directed us to the Days Inn hotel, where his parents had booked the banquet room. Speaking of parents, I got a voice message from my dad, informing me that he opened my mail and found out that I owe Cortland and a few other places money. He talked to me the next day and I guess he cooled down, since then, because he didn't bring it up, yesterday. The only problem I have with this is that I really don't need my father opening my mail. The bad part is that I can't reprimand him about it, because he'll flip out. Oh well, he's not on my back about it, so I'm gonna let it go. Around 7:00 at night, there was open bar until an hour before close. The reception was much like one of a wedding. The food was excellent. Danny always bragged about the food, but I never fully believed him. Calvin, (Danny's brother) had invited Kelcie to be his date. If I had invited Kelcie to a family event like that, I'd be by her side for almost all of it. Calvin...he didn't hang around that much. Neither did Cody, but at least he had an excuse. Calvin did dance with her, but apart from that, he wasn't really around her that much. It kind of worked in my favor, because she asked me to dance with her. Seth recorded it on his phone, because he thought my dancing was funny. He's a freakin' moron. I saw the video on his phone and it looked fine. Hell, it looked great. All of us went back to Danny's after the party. We hung out for a little bit, then we went to sleep. Around 9:00 Kelcie, Seth, and I woke up. I sat on the couch next to Kelcie and she rested her head on my lap. If I hadn't moved at some point, she'd probably have fallen asleep on me. On Thursday, she playfully asked when I was gonna take her out on a date. She was only half-serious, though. Then, when her and I were hanging out before Seth showed up, she asked to sit on my lap so "her pants won't get dirty." So, I let her sit on my lap and we just hung out. Anyways, we hung out at Danny's until around 12:30. Kelcie asked for our help with a video project. We said sure and agreed to meet her at her place around 3:30. Ok, here's where it gets amusing. When Seth tries to get with girls, it's like watching a monkey screw a football. He wants to get with Kelcie. When Seth wants to get with a girl, he always does the same thing. First, he tries to impress them by making up a bunch of b.s. He'll also keep calling them, "sweetheart" and "beautiful" running his hand up and down their back. Then, he'll make up some sob story, so they'll pity him. It's really pathetic. I've seen him do this a few times. He tried a new tactic on Sunday. After helping Kelcie with her project, we headed back to his place. Before we finally arrived there, he decided that he wanted to show Kelcie where he wanted to get married someday. That meant taking a trip over to Aaron and Marcy's place. I just shook my head in disbelief. Can you say, TRYING TO HARD? He wanted to take her to meet her dad, so he could return the tux he used on Saturday, but we wasted too much time at Aaron and Marcy's. When we got to his place, his mom did her usual "cockblocking". Except, she didn't really try to cockblock her son. She chose to cockblock me. Now, I could accuse her of trying to make Seth look good, but that's freakin' impossible. When I was downstairs, Seth started his sob story. At first, I thought he was referring to Kelcie's ex-boyfriend, Cody. I thought I heard him say, "he treats you like shit. It really pisses me off sometimes," but I misheard. He was referring to his step-father treating his mother badly. Now, that's not entirely true or false. Scott has been really good to April in the years that I've known them. However, he is starting to do a lot of stupid things. Things that I don't really agree with. Well, Kelcie had homework to do, so she started doing it. Well, Seth wanted to help, so she let him highlight some important things in the articles she was using. I glanced over at the papers Seth was highlighting and it was almost completely pink. "This guy has no freakin' clue what he's doing," I thought to myself. Well, Seth would comment to Kelcie that she's a smart girl and whatnot. He was basically kissing her ass. Don't get me wrong, Kelcie is a smart girl and an absolute sweetheart. But, he was definitely trying too hard. Well, she finally finished at 4:00 in the morning. We all went downstairs and she gave me a massage. Then, I gave her one to return the favor. Seth and I were gonna go to bed in his room, but Kelcie insisted that we all share the bed in the guest room. So, that's what we did. Yesterday, I was talking to Denna online about everything. She said "Kelcie likes you." I was caught off guard with that comment. I asked how she could be so sure and Denna said that she knew when Kelcie was interested in somebody. I'm still not 100% sure if she is, but I'm gonna test the theory. Denna gave me a lot of pointers to help me out. It would certainly explain why Kelcie's been getting really close to me. It would've been too easy to blow Seth out of the water on Sunday. Calvin wasn't around long enough, so the whatever "competition" is out there, it's no threat. But, it's like Danny says. There's only competition in sports. Robin showed up on Monday. I told her about my weekend and how Seth's trying to get with Kelcie. She just laughed and said that Seth was a pig. Then, when I told her about a dream that I had where I beat the hell out of Seth and scream at why he's such a damn failure, she explained what it meant. It actually made a lot of sense. When people like Seth have it so easy and get whatever they want, it irritates me. He just floats on through life without a care in the world. If he wasn't living with his mom and Scott right now, then he wouldn't have any way to "attempt" to impress Kelcie. People like me have to earn whatever we get. I don't like things handed to me. Now, this ties in with Kelcie, because Seth's trying to get with her by showing her things that HE DOESN'T OWN. The whole "meet my family" game was really pathetic. Kelcie deserves better than Seth. Still, she can choose whoever she wants or not at all.

Spring Break.

I left for Orlando on Thursday. Seth's sister drove most (if not all) of the way down. It was her, her friend, Santanna, Seth and me. We got there around 5:30 in the afternoon, Friday. The house that Seth's family rented was freakin' sweet. Saturday, we went to Disney World. I've always wanted to go to Disney World, but I never had the chance until last week. Disney's great, but the prices are ridiculous. On Easter, we went to Typhoon Lagoon, which is a Disney water park. That was pretty cool too. Monday, we were back at Disney. Most of the time, we were at Disney. I'm not really a big fan of rollercoasters, but I went on a few of them while I was there. What I liked mostly about Disney is that it had something for everybody. There was no age barrier. Tuesday, it was raining. So, we didn't go to Disney until around 6:00 at night. Before that, Seth's mother and sister got into it. Later, his mom would flip out on his step-father, which I thought was a little uncalled for, but I kept my mouth shut. So, Tuesday sucked. Wednesday, Seth, Santanna, his sister, and I went to Blizzard Beach, which is another Disney water park. I wasn't really big on this one. I liked Typhoon Lagoon better. After that, we got a 12 pack of beer and hung out at the house. That was relaxing. Later, I watched the Ultimate Fighter. Rob Browning didn't win his fight, so he will not be part of this season. Thank God for that. He's just like his brother. In fact, the guys that had already won the right to stay in the house, called him Junie Browning Jr. Now, Team USA is a full team. I still think the UK's gonna crush these guys, but anything can happen. Thursday, we went to Disney for the last time. We had another family with us. Friday, I left with Seth's step-father. Seth flew home with his mom. So, I was in a van all of Friday. Saturday, we got back around 2:30 in the afternoon. I slept for a little bit, then Cody called me about Danny's surprise birthday party around 5:00. At the time, I told him I was down for it, but I honestly didn't expect to make it. I was dead tired. I woke up around 8:00. I felt well-rested, so I got ready. When I got there, there were a few new faces. Bridgette Buckland was there. Kelcie showed up, later. Bridgette's deathly afraid of Kelcie. So, when Kelcie was calmly talking to Bridgette, she freaked out. Personally, I thought that was hillarious. Because Bridgette freaked out, there was a little bit of drama, but it didn't kill the party. Samantha and Jerimiah were there. It was cool to see them again. Sam hasn't changed at all. Jerimiah hasn't either. Him and I were busting on each other a little bit. I still don't remember meeting Sam, last year. I kind of wish I did. But, then again I was so wrapped up in Denna, that it really wouldn't have mattered anyways. At Cody's birthday party AND Danny's birthday party, Sam kept looking in my direction. I know she's happy with Jerimiah and he's a good guy, so I know it's not an attraction. There's just something about the way she was looking at me. Oh well, I probably won't see her until somebody else's birthday party. Sunday, Seth and I hung out at Danny's again. We stayed there until Monday. On Monday, Cody came over to Danny's and chilled with us. That was pretty-much my vacation. This was exactly what I needed. Ever since Wrestlemania, I've started to feel more like myself. I'm starting to feel as good as I did, last year. Still, if I had the chance to go back just one year, I definitely would. I know I've said that before, but last year was still a lot better than this one. But, things are starting to get better. The same thing happened after Cody's birthday party. That was short-lived. However, I have a feeling that this time, things are gonna get better. When I found out that I couldn't go back to Cortland, I basically stopped caring about pretty-much everything. I used to take a great sense of pride in how I looked, how I conducted myself, my attitude, everything. Well, I just stopped caring about all that. Even when Denna was around, I didn't really put that much effort into myself. Last year, I always made sure I wore cologne. I always wore either a white shirt or a button-up shirt. I put in a lot of effort in my appearance, especially after I had met Denna. Although, she was pretty-much impressed regardless of how I looked. Still, I put in an effort. Especially with the cologne. I even bought a $50 bottle, because I knew she'd love the scent of it. Even when she had left, I still put in an effort. Then, I started feeling sorry for myself and I stopped caring. Now, I'm back to wearing cologne, the shirts, gelling my hair, everything. I found my smile again. Even my personality has improved. There's still a few things that need to be dealt with, but now I'm in the right mind set. I'm back and I'm not going anywhere.

Getting Back On Top

The Ultimate Fighter Season 9: United States vs. United Kingdom started on Wednesday. The UK fighters look pretty dominating. More than half the fights ended with a knee to the jaw. I haven't seen the U.S fighters yet, but my money's on the UK right now. Apparently, Dan Henderson and Rich Franklin have fought to see who's coaching the U.S team. I think Dan Henderson won that fight, but I'm not exactly sure. Friday was a freakin' disaster. Despite my warnings, Mike had Desiree and Bridgette at the cabin. Surprisingly, Bridgette wasn't really that annoying. In fact, she was fine. However, Desiree was both annoying and obnoxious. Things definitely would've been better if she wasn't at the cabin. Although, if Mike hadn't invited both her and his girlfriend, Tiffany to the cabin, there probably wouldn't have been any tension. At one point, Tiffany had enough of Desiree and started screaming at her. Then, she went after her. However, Dan and Chris were there as well. Dan held Tiffany back and I guess Desiree was hiding behind Chris. Seth was also being annoying, but I'm used to it. Before all of that happened, Chris was thinking about things that happened over the summer. Basically, it's similar to the Denna situation, last Spring. Like me, he's sick of getting the short end of the stick. So, the cabin wasn't as great as it was, last year. Saturday, Dan, Chris, Bridgette, and Steve Clarke came over to Seth's place. His parents are in Florida already, so he had the house to himself. We just hung out and watched a couple movies. It was much better than Friday at the cabin. Also, my grudge against Bridgette Taylor dissolved. I can't hold a grudge to save my life anyways. It still weirds me out that she calls us her second family, but I don't have any big issue with her....for now. Sunday was Wrestlemania 25. Before that, I got an unexpected phone call from Kelcie. We talked about everything that's gone down in the past few weeks. All has been forgiven. Her and I hung out, yesterday. She came with us to watch Wrestlemania 25 at Danny's. This time, I was actually able to focus on the matches. Still, it would've been nice to have a repeat of last year. The best part of the entire PPV was Undertaker becoming 17-0. That match with him and Shawn Michaels was probably the best match on the entire PPV. Things are starting to get better. They're not back to the way they were, but there's definitely improvement. I still wish things were like they were in 2008, but that was a one-time deal. Kelcie and I both wish we could go back. Sometimes, there's days I wish I could go back all the way to 2004. The sacrafice would be that I might not meet some of the friends that I have now. I wouldn't know Dan, Chris, Kara, Abby, Robin, Johnny, or anybody. Danny was part of Ashley's life before, so I'd probably still meet him and Cody. Then again, maybe just knowing Cody, would lead to me meeting everybody else. Still, I wouldn't wanna risk it. I don't know what I'd do without those guys. I'm better off with them than without them. The week and overall, the weekend have been better than the others. So, I'm starting to return to acting like myself. Despite what Denna says, I still think that I was changing. Maybe she didn't notice it, but I did. In her defense, she didn't have the same emotions running through her mind, like I did. It doesn't matter now, because I'm acting more like myself. I feel better, I look better, I am better. I should still feel the same way, if not better for the next couple weeks. I have a lot to look forward to. Maybe the rest of this year will be tolerable. Right now, things are looking good.

Last Week Until WrestleMania

Two more weeks and I'll be out of New York State for a while. I'm actually looking forward to it, because this place is definitely taking it's toll on me. Last week wasn't the greatest week, but it wasn't the worst either. Friday, there was a situation. Apparently, this tall guy wearing a black hoodie that said: "poison the well" was trying to pick up Kara and my friend, Amy. Well, I wasn't around, but both of them were shaking after they got away from him. The rest of us that were around, went out of our way to make sure EVERY GIRL WASN'T BY THEMSELVES if they had to go anywhere. It was like we had our own bodyguard service. Oh yeah and after an internal struggle, I've come to the conclusion that although Nate hasn't done anything this semester, he is still pretty close to the line. I met this girl, Veronika. Well, she's on the top of the list of girls Nate wants to date. The poor girl doesn't really have any interest in him. I can't help, but to think back to the Denna situation, last year. Nate thinks that he had a better shot of getting with her than I did. That's funny, seeing how she was also creeped out by him. He can think that all he wants. Denna has told me countless times that if it weren't for that asshole husband of hers, it would've been me that she chose. Still, that didn't stop him from trying to cock-block me, every chance he got. Right now, I find myself in an interesting position. I know he likes Veronika just like he knew I liked Denna. Yet, he tried to steal my thunder anyways. I could try to get a measure of payback. However, that's not really my deal and I think there's enough guys trying to get with her already. Not only that, but that'd be using her for all the wrong reasons. Saturday was my grandfather's birthday. So, I spent the entire day over at their house. An incredible feeling washed over me when I was over there. I'm not the biggest fan of my grandmother, but I have no issue with my grandfather. The best present I could give him was just to hang out over there all day. As a result, this incredible feeling surrounded me. I had that feeling all the time when I was with Denna. Ever since she left, that feeling went with her. Unfortunately, the feeling didn't stay with me. It'll probably come back when I go on vacation. This week, there are somethings that I'm looking forward to and things that I'm not. One of the things that I'm NOT looking forward to is going back to Mike's cabin. The reason being is that both Bridgette Taylor and her slutty bitch friend, Desiree are gonna be there. If it wasn't for the fact that there were going to be other girls there, I wouldn't go. Mikey's my boy, but his taste in women is incredibly disturbing. When he came to visit last week, Desiree was being her little slutty self and seducing him. The problem is that he didn't mind it. She's an annoying little slut. She said some stuff to me that almost got her in a world of hurt. The bitch was about to lose her remaining teeth. But, if Mikey were to have sex with her, it'd be in my favor. She has this freakin' midget that she's engaged to in the Marine Corp. If she ever got on my nerves, I could blackmail that little slut. Bridgette still keeps cuddling with Dan. It's really irritating me. It's taking a lot of will power to not shout: "He freakin' dumped you, bitch! Get the hell over it!" She's also hanging out with these other guys to try to make him feel bad. She's leading them on and that's also pissing me off. I've read her online messages and they're really pathetic. "I'm waiting for a nice guy that likes me for me and not just my body," "I'm getting really annoyed with people trying to get with me when I'm in love with someone else," give me a freakin' break already. She does it to herself and that's why I have no pity for her. I'm guessing that on Friday, I'm gonna flip out on both her and Desiree. Luckily, Seth will be there, so if I have to leave that night, it'll be possible. Sunday is Wrestlemania 25. Denna's not here, so it won't be the same. Still, I'm gonna watch it and I'll probably remember all of it. Last year was great, though. I don't think anything can top it. It wasn't just the event that was awesome. Denna spent the night with me. That's why it was so freakin' awesome. The only thing that the event is missing is Undertaker isn't in the main event. He still has a big match, but I'd rather see him regain the World Heavyweight Championship and get the lengthy title reign that he deserves. This year, he's facing Shawn Michaels. Shawn Michaels becomes very selfish when Wrestlemania draws closer each year. I remember back in 2004 when he put himself in the Triple Threat World Heavyweight Championship match at Wrestlemania 20. Thankfully, Chris Benoit won that match. This year, he's bragging that he's going to be the one to end Undertaker's undefeated streak at Wrestlemania. HA! Yeah, right. Shawn's 6-9 at Wrestlemania. He may put on one hell of a show, but he's usually on the losing end. There have been matches that I could've sworn that he was gonna win and he'd end up losing. Then again, there were a few matches that Undertaker has had that had me concerned. Basically, when he faced Randy Orton at Wrestlemania 21 and when he faced Batista at Wrestlemania 23. I pretty-much knew that he'd win, last year. I'm not too concerned, this year. Shawn Michaels may be known as Mr. Wrestlemania, but he's lost several times at Wrestlemania. Undertaker may have never beaten Shawn when they've faced off before, but there's a first time for everything. Undertaker's going to be 17-0 and there's nothing Shawn Michaels can do about it.

Weeding The Garden

I can either be your best friend or your worst enemy. You choose which one. I know that I've said this before. But, people are really starting to test me. I've done nothing to Kelcie, but she keeps on making me out to be the bad guy. After going to 2CW, we went to pick up Dan and Chris. When we got to Danny's, Kelcie was sitting there hanging out with Jay. I tried to explain that I valued her friendship more than my so-called friendship with Bridgette, but she wasn't in the right state of mind. However, according to her, I got in her face and had my voice raised to her. Danny was right there. I didn't do anything like that. Well, she told Cory and he confronted me about it. After hearing my side of the story, he was cool with me. In fact, he realized that him and I aren't too different. I'm just getting sick of people making me out for something that I'm not. As far as I'm concerned, I don't wanna see Kelcie, I don't wanna talk to Kelcie. I'm done being nice. She'll regret it later. One day, she'll need to talk to me and I'm just going to turn my back on her. Alright, enough of that. Friday, Seth and I went to the movies. I saw Slumdog Millionaire, which wasn't too bad. Then, we picked Danny up from work and went to a party on the south side of Binghamton. We didn't stay long, but it was a good time. The next day, we went to the 2CW show. After seeing both 2CW and ECPW, I'm starting to lean towards ECPW. There are guys in 2CW that I like and I'll still go to the shows, but ECPW has bigger stars. With the exception of Kamala and Jimmy Snuka, their main attractions can still go. Brutus Beefcake still had it when I saw him a few weeks ago. 2CW did a cage match, which was Keith Zimmer's idea for a future show in ECPW. Also, 2CW handed out signs that said ECPW BLOWS!, EXTREMELY CRAPPY PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING, and 2CW OWNS BINGHAMTON. Not only that, but Zachary Springate III grabbed the mic and said that ECPW couldn't hold 2CW's jock. ECPW never slandered 2CW once. So, now that 2CW called out ECPW, it's gonna be war. The 2CW show didn't disappoint, but I'm looking forward to the Cortland show, next weekend. This week, I'm going to "weed the garden" once again. Like I've said before. My friends define who I am. With Bridgette Taylor and Kelcie gone, I might as well find out who my true friends are. The hell with the rest of them. I may joke about being the godfather in the family, but in a way, I fit that role. I already know that Danny, Chris, and Dan are behind me. Seth's just there, but whatever. Overall, the weekend wasn't bad, but I'd like just one weekend that nobody screwed with me. If I'm in Cortland next weekend, then I don't think I'll have to worry about that.

The Good, The Bad, The Aftermath

This weekend has definitely interesting. Yesterday wasn't really that good due to Seth's little step-brother egging me on to the point that I popped him in the jaw. To make things worse, Kelcie's upset at me because of what happened on Saturday, although I did absolutely nothing wrong. Today, Seth came really close to getting cracked in the jaw like his step-brother. I'm really getting fed up with him. The bastard doesn't think before he speaks. Last week wasn't exactly the greatest week in the world either. Surprisingly, I talked to Bridgette about the stuff that's going on between her, Cody, and Kelcie. To my shock, she's not really interested in Cody. So, I cleaned the slate with the final warning that she doesn't interfere in Cody and Kelcie's relationship. Well, despite all that, Cody and Kelcie are taking a break. So, Kelcie called me up and took out all of her frustration on me. I'm sorry, but that's messed up. I did nothing wrong. I would still be there for Kelcie if she needed me. Instead, she chose to cut all ties with me, with Cody, and all of Cody's friends. She'll regret it later and she'll have to live with it. Alright, enough about all that. Friday's party didn't go as well as it could have. In fact, Friday's party sucked. Which is a shocker, because I thought it was gonna be great. But, Chris was all pissed off at something, Dan's girlfriend was spreading high school drama, and Dan was nervous about what to do with her. So, it wasn't really that great. Here's the amusing part. I thought Cody's '70's theme party was going to suck as well. Surprisingly, it was a hell of a lot better than Friday's party. My highlight from that party was talking to Denna's friend Cory. Apparently, before Denna brought him over to Danny's a few weeks ago, she told him I was the guy that needed to accept him. Denna told him a lot about me when she came home. I just find that flattering. It's almost like getting a father's approval when you're dating his daughter. The fact that Denna brought him over to hang out with MY friends is also a huge honor. When she was in Kansas, my name didn't come up at all. That's mainly because her and I weren't talking. I felt like I had been used and she thought I was an asshole. Then, we both apologized and things got better between us. I liked Cory the first night that I met him. But, we didn't really have the conversation that we had on Saturday. He said that he just wanted me to know that he wasn't going to do anything to hurt Denna. I assured him that I already knew he wouldn't do anything like that. Denna almost did kick somebody's ass at the party. I was about to get involved, but Cory was the voice of reason. Still, we went outside just to make sure that Denna was alright. Overall, the party on Saturday was a blast. Unfortunately, the aftermath was far from it. Things don't seem the same and I don't know how much more I can take. Things just seem to be getting worse and worse. I can't express how badly I wish I could go back just one year. 2008 will always be my year.

Why My Head Hurts.

Denna did end up coming home after all. At first, I thought she was avoiding me. Fortunately, that wasn't the case. She said that before she makes plans, she has to see if her dad has any plans for her on that day. It was a big relief. I did end up get to see her, yesterday. She brought a friend of her's from Endicott. He was cool. I invited them to the party that Seth and I are trying to put together for next weekend. Now that Denna's back in town, I'm not sure what I'm doing, this weekend. I'd love to hang out with her, but if she doesn't call me by Thursday, I'm staying home. I could really use a break from drinking and everything. The only reason why I'd go away this weekend, is if I could hang out with her. Yesterday, I can't exactly prove it, but I think I caught her glancing at me a few times. Kind of like she did back in the day. Again, I can't prove it, but I'm pretty sure. As for how my weekend went, that's easy enough. On Friday, it turned out that Danny's party was actually a birthday for one of their friends. There WERE single girls there, but there was one problem. They had two or more kids. My friend Dana scolded me for not making more of an effort. She had a lot of logic behind argument. So, who knows? There was one that was 30 years old that seemed pretty cool. Unfortunately, after the party, Danny and Jay were locked out of their apartment, so we had to crash at Branda's place. I don't think I've mentioned her before, so here's some background information. She's a single mom at the moment. She does have a boyfriend, but who knows how long that'll last. She's pregnant with another child and for some reason, she seems obsessed with the fact that I'm still a virgin. Apparently, she seems that I'm gonna have difficulty getting a girl due to my one rule. I'm not too worried about that. She loves bringing it up, though. I'm not sure why, yet. Today, she saw me walking down the hall and gave me a big hug. She said she'd see me on Friday, but I'm not sure what I'm doing yet as far as going away for the weekend. Getting back to what happened this weekend, Saturday I headed over to Candor. Not much happened over there. Sunday, Seth and I hung out with Clarissa. Again, it was funny watching him trying to "put the moves" on her. It's like watching a retard trying to get girls. That was pretty-much my Sunday. So, that was my weekend. I've been doing a lot of thinking, lately. Ever since Denna's been back, she's been on my mind constantly. Hell, before she came back, she was on my mind. There has only been one other person to have grabbed my attention like this and that was Ashley. We all know how that story ended. I just don't know what the hell to do. Denna's still married to that moron, this Corey guy entered the scene, and no matter what I do, I can't get her out of my head. I talked to Danny about it, last night. He said that I should talk to her. In fact, he thought that I should've been a little more active on Monday. I told him that I didn't wanna have to compete for her. "There's only competition in sports," he replied. So, after talking to Danny, I've decided to talk to Denna when I see her. He thinks that I'm in love with her. He could be right. The thing is that for the time being, she's married to Keegan. So, even if I do love her, there's nothing I really can do about it, except let her know. Seth made up some more bullshit. This time, it was about Denna. That's one subject that I'm not gonna put up with his b.s. He needs to stop with the bullshit. I'm not the only that's fed up with him. Dan and Chris only tolerate him for my sake. Eventually, I'm gonna end up flipping out on him. I'm surprised I haven't snapped yet. I'll deal with him later. Right now, I have more important things to focus on. There's someone more important that deserves my attention. It's about time I gave it to her.

Back To Being Me

I've always said that I'm my own worst enemy. The past few weeks, I've been a shell of my former self. This weekend, I started to return to who I am. I hung out with Aaron and Marcy on Friday, which meant that I was drinking. The hangover sucked the next day, but it went away after two Ibuprophens. Saturday was Cody's birthday party. After the last party, I'll admit that I was a bit unsure how this one would turn out. This party was a hell of a lot better than the last one. Apparently, these girls remember me from telling them an epic story about a shirt I got, last year. I don't remember that story or even meeting these girls, but they remember me. Too bad the one girl was only 17. The other girl was of age, but she had a cool boyfriend named Jerimiah. Her name was Samantha. Jerimiah and I talked a bit, then I talked to Sam. At one point, she grabbed Danny and dragged him into the hall, because something was bothering her. I was nervous that I might've said something stupid without realizing it like I did, last Saturday. When we were outside, I asked her if I said or did anything wrong. "Oh, no Jerimiah likes you. It was Just that....that Paul guy is a bit grabby and Jerimiah was nervous that he'd try to touch me," was her answer. Unfortunately, Paul is starting to get this reputation as being the loud, drunk, annoying guy that's all touchy-feely. Basically, he's being "that guy". When we went back inside after smoking either a cigarette or cigar, she sat on Jerimiah's lap, pointed to me, and said: "I like him." Man, that was a huge ego boost. All night long, I was making those guys laugh just by being me. That's how I used to be. I'd just make people at the parties laugh and have a good time. Sam is freakin' amazing. It almost kills me that she's taken. She's very attractive and I really dig her personality. Paul was trying to pick her up, but he's "that guy", so it didn't work. Last night's party was exactly what I needed. Things are starting to be like they were. Tonight, was the big superbowl. Unfortunately, the Giants weren't part of this one. Still, the game was very close and very good. I'm not a football fan, so that speaks volumes. Next week, the party's gonna be Friday instead of Saturday. Danny promised that there'd be beautiful, single, girls that are of age at this one. He better be able to deliver true to his word, because it's been a long time. This weekend's been the best one in a long time and I need to continue to keep my morale up. Hopefully, the same girls that were there, yesterday will be there on Friday. Either way, I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It was just a very long tunnel.

New People, Same Drama

It took me a while to realize it, but the drama has returned. At BCC, the drama never fades. Even if the people who create it leave, it still hovers around. The worse part about it is that I'm starting to get sucked into it again. There was a time when I found the drama entertaining. But, ever since going to Cortland, I've gotten used to not being around it as much. Now, I'm back at BCC. The drama's still here. I've said that I'm not perfect countless of times. I know that sometimes without meaning to, I can cause drama. However, I always try to clean up after myself. Why can't people just grow up? The main person responsible for most of the drama around here is Bridgette. Even when she's not here, she still creates drama. I'm still kicking myself for sticking up for her back in 2006. I should've just let my friends keep on harrassing her. Instead, I screamed at them and made a stand. They backed down, but Bridgette remained being Bridgette. At the last party over at Danny's, I made a poor comment directed at Cody and Kelcie. Although, I wasn't serious, it still had an impact on them. I apologized to both of them and we're fine now, but when I talked to Kelcie, I told her about my past conversations with Denna. Denna's been in one of her moods, lately. She mentioned that someone told her that Kelcie didn't really like her and was only nice to her in person. I didn't get a name out of her, but Kelcie had an idea of who it was. "It's Bridgette! She must've told Denna that!" she screamed in rage. The part about it is that it's not true. Kelcie really is Denna's friend. Although I can't prove that Bridgette really said that to Denna, it does make sense. Back in the summer, Denna called me, because Bridgette found out about the stuff we were doing. Bridgette wanted her to tell Dan and Chris, because "Chris has always wanted to put me in my place." I called those guys up immediately. I knew better than to believe Bridgette, but I still had to let those guys know that they are and always will be my boys. When I told Chris what Bridgette had said, he got very pissed. Bridgette tried to drive a wedge between the three of us. Obviously, it had failed. Still, she tried to turn my friends against me. So, it wouldn't surprise me if she was doing the same thing to Kelcie. However, Kelcie happens to be a girl and she can break Bridgette in half. Kelcie started to ask me to do impossible things for her at Cody's birthday party. Things like hold Cody back while her and her friend Clarissa jump Bridgette. I told her that there was no way in hell that I could do that. Bridgette deserves anything she gets, but there'll be a time and a place for it. Violence is pointless. If Kelcie really wants vengeance, she should find a more satisfactory way. I already talked to Dan and Chris about it. I told them to help me make sure nothing went down on Saturday IF Bridgette should show up at the party. I don't even know if she's coming or not. Hopefully, she won't be there. Today, I was hanging out with Dan when a girl that I'm not familiar with, came over and gave him a hug. It turns out that this girl has a crush on Dan. For some reason unknown to me, he says that he's not ready for a relationship. I don't see what the problem is. She's a nice girl. Again, I can predict what will happen if Dan doesn't snap out of it. He'll finally be ready for a relationship with her and it'll be too late. She'll be dating someone else that's a complete asshole. It's happened to me, it's happened to Chris, it's happened to all of us. It's not a good feeling. In fact, it's probably the worst pain I've ever felt. But, it's up to him. It's just that he doesn't deserve that pain. When I talked to Denna on Tuesday, we reminisced about how things were last spring. Both of us wanna go back. There'd be some minor changes. I'd probably have "officially" hooked up with Denna. I wouldn't have gone to work at that stupid camp. I'd have gotten my degree at BCC and I wouldn't have screwed up in Cortland. I would've worked with my dad over the summer. I'm sure there would've been some problems, but things would've been a little better. However, things are what they are. If things were different, I'd probably not have known about the stuff with Kara. I sure as hell wouldn't have been put in the International dorm at Cortland, so I'd have never met Joe or Kristi. Things are a bit rough, right now. But, things could've been worse and I'm sure there's a reason why things happened the way they did. Things are slowly getting better. I just have to be patient. Soon, I'll be back on top again.

New Years Day 2009.

I've been home for a few weeks now. A lot has gone on. I'll start with all that's been happening with me. Due to a lot of factors that I don't feel like getting into at this point, I'm not going back to Cortland. Tomorrow, I'm gonna re-transfer to BCC. I made a lot of stupid decisions, this year. Most them have already came back to bite me in the ass. As much as I loved it at Cortland, it feels right for me to go back to BCC. I have unfinished business over there. I can finally get my associates' degree. Also, I'll have more time to hang out with my friends. Stacey's leaving New York in March, so it'll be great to be able to spend a couple more days with her until then. Steph's coming home in 12 days and she owes me a day to hang out. Denna and I straightened things out, so the bitterness has left me. She's coming back to New York for a while. I haven't really hung out with the people that I wanted yet, but there'll be plenty of time. I have hung out with Seth, Danny, Cody, and Kelcie. Kelcie and I talked over the phone a couple days ago. She's really upset at the fact that Bridgette's back in New York and keeps on calling Cody. She's even more upset at the fact that Cody defends Bridgette. I can see where she's coming from along with everyone else. She's voiced her concerns to me, Jay, and Danny. Kelcie asked me a question that caught me off guard. She asked me if Cody ever cheated on her, could she cheat on him with me. I told her that I'd get back to her on that one. She says that she didn't mean it. She said she was joking, but I'm not so sure about that. Kelcie's a beautiful girl and Denna was originally trying to hook her up with me. But, I couldn't do that to Cody. He may be making some stupid decisions, but I wouldn't be able to do that. I'm not sure if I would've been next in line if Kelcie wasn't dating Cody. Still, they're both good friends of mine. This week, I'm at Seth's place. On Tuesday, we watched an episode of that Double Shot of Love reality show. It's just as bad as when Tila Tequila was the host. This time, there's two twins that are both looking for love. Again, it's pathetic and of course I'll be tuning in next Tuesday. Last night, was New Year's Eve. We had a small party at Seth's again. His brother Aaron got drunk and threw all the party snacks at me. It's been a while since Aaron's gotten that drunk. Today has been boring. Tomorrow, Seth and I are gonna do something to make up for the fact that he couldn't do anything for his birthday, today. We don't know what yet, but our morning's pretty booked. As far as my resolution's concerned, it's pretty simple. My resolution for 2009 is to work out and get in shape. It's about time I worked on my image a bit more. Who knows? It could go a long way. 2008 was a pretty good year. Hopefully, 2009 will be even better.

Thanksgiving Break.

There's only two more weeks left in the semester. I couldn't be any happier with that. I went on break earlier than I planned. Still, I needed to get out of Cortland for a few days anyways. I went back to BCC on Monday. I wasn't able to see Dan and Chris, but I saw a few more people than the last couple of times I've been there. At one point, I heard someone cry out my name. I snapped my head in the direction of the voice. This yellow blur is heading in my direction...FAST! She pounced before I could tell who it was. It was a good friend of mine. Apparently, I was missed more than I thought I'd be. So, I hung out with her and later on, Kara. Kara was generous enough to scratch my back and release some of the tension that I've been feeling. That was pretty-much my Monday. Tuesday, I didn't do a damn thing. Wednesday, one of the guys that works with my dad wanted to go hunting on Thanksgiving, so he came up on Wednesday. We all went out for dinner at this bar/restaraunt. The bar tender went to school with me, but she was two years below me. Later on, her best friend stopped by. Well, my friend wanted her. Unfortunately for him, the girls in Harpursville are smarter than him. He did get the bartender's number, but he wanted me to play wingman and get her number for him. I flat out refused. Still, we were there longer than we should've been. Thursday, Thanksgiving, we didn't end up going hunting, because we were out so late. I ended up hanging out with Kyle after dinner. We went to this hockey game in Binghamton. Man, did they suck. Friday, I did nothing. Saturday, my parents and I went to the bar. Yesterday, before leaving to go back to Cortland, I called my roommate to see when it was gonna be open. He informed me that him and Alicia were no longer together. When I saw him yesterday, he looked happier than he's been in months. Now that Alicia's no longer around, he's been hanging out with his second family. He's not the only one that seems happy that Alicia's no longer in the picture. I for one, was pleased to hear that he finally dumped her. I saw it coming. Apparently, a lot of people did. Personally, I'm looking forward to the changes. It looks like I'll see how Whitaker Hall was last semester after all.

Back in Candor

I know it's a bit late with the feedback from the last episode of The Ultimate Fighter, but with Halloween being on Friday, my time was short as it was. I was really pulling for Team Nogueira. Is it just me or is everyone on Team Mir a cocky asshole? It was Antonio Nogueira's birthday, so his team made him dinner and two birthday cakes. Some of the guys on Team Mir said in their confessionals about how this whole "Team Nogueira being a family" was pathetic. I swear it...if both winners are on Team Mir, I'm gonna be pissed. Team Nogueira may be behind as of right now, but at least they have class. I don't know exactly what happened, but Team Nogueira informed Antonio that someone on Team Mir was talking shit about him. I honestly don't know how true that was. It certainly wouldn't surprise me. Well, Nogueira approached the guy accused of running his mouth and told him in Brazilian, that they were now enemies. The guy argued and attempted to defend himself, but Nogueira wasn't hearing any of it. Unfortunately, that guy did win his fight and Team Mir still has control. Hopefully, this week'll be a good week for Team Nogueira. That's about it for the UFC action, last week. Friday was Halloween. Now, as I've stated countless times before, Seth still acts like a 6 year old. So, of course HE'D wanna go trick-or-treating with his 2-year-old sister. Since I was gonna stay the weekend at their place, I had to go with them as well. I think Shaun Cummings said it best, "I'm a 23 year old grown-ass man. I don't dress up for Halloween, anymore." Well, unfortunately I had no choice in the matter. It was embarrassing as all hell. Fortunately, that's not all we did for Halloween. Seth's mom dropped us off at Aaron and Marcy's afterwards. I could tell they missed me, because they kept poking fun at me and they also kept feeding me shots. I got pretty hammered. The next day, we all had to go to this farm for this Halloween festival thing. That was boring for the most part. Later, I dragged Seth to the ECPW show. I was pleasantly surprised with the way it turned out. It was much better than their first show in Binghamton. In fact, I'm really looking forward to their Cortland show that they're putting on, December 5th. My view on the promoter has changed. The first show in Binghamton was a disaster and I thought that Gino was mostly at fault. Everything was disorganized and piss-poorly done. However, Gino made it up to the fans and in my book, that really means something. That show was awesome, last night. I was even fortunate to get Gino's autograph. Zimmer's always inviting me to ride up with him and Shaun when they go to New Jersey at Gino's home. I may take them up on that offer. Now that I know that Gina actually does know what he's doing, I'd like to get to know him better.