She's Still Trying

Last night, 2CW had a special Monday night show. Kage and Sean Carr had a big match for the 2CW Tag Team Championships. After three months of chasing them, they finally got the win. The place erupted. I was with Swartz and our co-worker, Marty. Marty brought his 13 year old son and both of them had a blast. Marty noticed stuff at the show that I didn't even see. One of them was when Sean and Kage won the belts, someone in the crowd was so happy, that they were crying. I didn't see that, but Marty did. Now, we both work with Swartz and he would go nuts just for laughs at the warehouse. He's no different at a wrestling show. Marty and his boy were getting a kick out of him. I think Swartz has a bigger and louder mouth than I do. I never thought that would be possible. It was one of the best shows that I've been to. Before I went to that show, Helen and I were texting back and forth. I thought she needed a ride, so I headed over there after work. Turns out that she didn't need a ride and wanted to see me. She had other reasons for getting me to come out there. She has yet, another girl that she wants me to meet. Now, her track record hasn't been great for girls that she wanted me to meet and potentially date. Although, she never really hooked me up with Tina, she did think it was a good idea. It was far from it. However, I needed to make that mistake, because I was at the point where I was so desperate, I'd date just about anybody and Tina was proof of that. After three months of her and her parents' bullshit, I grew standards and had priorities as well as high expectations. I looked back at some of the girls that I had liked at one point only to realize none of them would've worked if I had actually officially dated any of them. Ashley Vincent, Denna, Kelcie, none of them would've worked. Ashley was too stuck up, Denna was untrustworthy, and Kelcie's a druggie who has slept with over thirty guys. Sure, Kelcie is a good friend of mine, but she's not exactly girlfriend material. Helen also thought it would've been good if I hooked up with this fat girl that was hanging out a lot at her sister's place. She wasn't behind that attempt, but again she thought it was a good idea. Helen IS responsible for attempting to hook me up with that Jamaica girl. The problem was Jamaica was plain, chubby, and worst of all, she was only 18 years old. I only date 23 and higher when it comes to the age situation. Reason being that most girls are mature and know what the hell they want by that age. Jamaica acted like all the other 18 year old girls that I've been around during my days at BCC. So, Helen's track record isn't good. But, she's still finding girls for me to meet. Obviously, I'd rather just be with her. But, that's not gonna happen anytime soon. Helen still feels bad for what happened with Tina and me even though it wasn't her fault. It wasn't Derrick Carvin's fault, it wasn't his wife's fault, it wasn't anyone's fault. Tina brought on everything herself and SHE'S the reason why we're not together. Still, Helen feels bad and she cares a great deal about me. She doesn't want me to be alone. So, she keeps coming up with girls to meet until there's one that clicks. The sad truth is that most guys like me usually end up alone. Guys like me get played, used, walked on, stabbed in the back, and taken advantage of all the time. So, we stick with our close friends that we can trust and fly solo. I explained this to Helen, but she insists. I did agree to meet her friend on Friday. She refused to show me a picture, because she'll think I'll get all dressed up and nervous. I laughed at that one. I don't get nervous when it comes to meeting new girls. I know how to treat them, so there's nothing to be nervous about. Either things will spark and go like she plans, or things will just stay the same. I'm fine with it either way. While I was there, Tina was also there with her new boyfriend. I didn't bother warning him. He'll figure it out the hard way just like I did. Helen also had two of her friends there as well. They're a couple that just recently started dating. I'm not sure how much Helen had to do with that one. She might not of had anything to do with it at all. Their names are Craig and Tonya. Craig has this alpha-male personality that I usually wouldn't agree with, but I don't know him all that well yet and he's a friend of Helen's. I doubt she'd let him hang around if he was an asshole, then again she did marry Pat. Tonya couldn't take her eyes off me. I didn't think anything of it. Denna did the exact same thing back at BCC in 2008. So, I should've known there was a reason for it. Helen texted me yesterday that Tonya thinks I'm very good looking. I'm not sure why Helen's telling me this. She has this girl for me to meet on Friday and Tonya's with Craig. Unless there's more to the story than she's telling. When she tried hooking me up with Jamaica, all I had was a time. I didn't have a name, day, or place. This time, I have a day and place. I guess the time doesn't matter. Once I get out of work, I come home, clean up and head over there. Hopefully, this time it will be different than the last time Helen was around when I was meeting a girl that she thought would be a good match for me.

Bigger Than Superman

It's been another interesting week. I helped my dad out on Saturday and Sunday. Since it was Father's Day on Sunday, I hung out a little longer than I usually do. Afterwards, I went to Great Bend to Helen's work and surprised her. She was beamning when she turned around and saw me. I finally told her what I've wanted to say, since last year. "You're actually twenty times better than you think you are," was what she told me in response. It's no wonder why I'm so damn attracted to her. I talked with her for a good hour and a half before leaving to go home. This week was interesting. With Cliff Ruby back, it's almost like these guys don't need me. But, they'll never make me feel that way. They find things for me to do at work. Dave assured me that I was going to be on 1st shift regardless of what happened. I'm glad that I have my life again. Just because things are going well with me, doesn't mean that they're going well for everyone else. As much as I care about Robin, there are times that she can be immature and ridiculous. Tuesday was one of those days. Her twenty-two year old boyfriend went to a funeral, came back, and didn't want to be in a relationship with her. Robin 's personality is pretty extreme. So extreme, that the only person she has to vent on is... me. Everyone else just up and left. She wanted me to help her make him want to stay with her. I told her hundreds of times that you can't control how people feel. She didn't want to hear it. I held back a lot of what I wanted to tell her. Although, I did spit out a couple thoughts that I thought she should hear. She kept calling him her "soul-mate". I wanted so badly to say, "look, he ain't your damn soul-mate if he doesn't wanna be in a relationship with you". But, I didn't. I just rolled my eyes, but she didn't notice. Robin is very controlling. Sometimes, too damn controlling. There's not too many people that will put up with that. I know ways around it, so it doesn't bother me too much. I haven't heard anything from her lately, so I'm guessing that they worked things out. It is what it is and to be honest, I could care less either way. From my past experiences, most people don't really start to "grow up" until around the age of twenty five and higher. On Friday, I went to see the new Superman movie, Man of Steel. There's a bit of controversy surrounding the ending. Superman has General Zod in a headlock, so Zod fires his laser eyes at the wall surrounding a family. To save the family, Superman snaps his neck, killing him. Apparently, a lot of hardcore Superman fans were upset because, "Superman doesn't kill." I've read a couple of articles that have some valid points to the argument. In Superman II, Superman has Zod's powers released from him and shoves him down the bottomless abyss in his Fortress of Solitude. No one had an issue with THAT ending. My guess is that the Man of Steel's killing of Zod was a tad bit more brutal and graphic, that it was the main issue why people didn't like it. To me, the ending made sense. Zod was out of control and wanted to kill all human life on the planet. Superman made a choice between his one rule and his promise to help the people of Earth whenever he can. I was fine with the ending. What kills me is that they were upset with his killing of Zod, but they were fine with the scene where he's watching a baseball game in the kitchen of his house and he's drinking a beer. They may argue it's a soda bottle, but I know my beer lables. Superman's drinking a Budweiser. What, it's ok for him to drink a beer, because he's an alien and aliens can't get drunk? Give me a freakin' break. Personally, I don't care what the hell he drinks. It's just that if you're gonna bitch that he's breaking his one rule, then you might as well look at his other flaws as well. Otherwise, just shut the hell up and move on. I remember when I saw the first trailer for that movie. It had Russell Crowe's voice in the background of the scenes. You didn't even know it was a Superman movie at first. Until you saw the Man of Steel title, then Superman's rocketing up to the sky. That's all I needed to see to wanna see that movie. Of course, they made more trailers as it got closer to the release date. Personally, there are certain movies that it helps to have more than one trailer for, but then there's some movies that only need one trailer and it can be very brief. This was one of them. I hate it when there's several trailers, because it seems like I've seen half the movie before even getting in the theater. In the trailer with Russell Crowe's voice in the background, he's telling Superman that the people of earth with look up to him. "They'll rise behind you, they will stumble... they will fall. But in time, they will join you in the sun. In time you'll help them accomplish wonders." It got me thinking that quite a few of my friends come to me for help. They look up to me, depend on me, they expect me to do the right thing by them. I'm no Superman and they know this.In fact, one of my favorite scenes from one of my favorite movies, Angus has a scene where his grandfather says, "Superman's not brave. He's invincible... and you can't be brave if you're invincible." There are people that are strong in their own way and I have to agree are braver than Superman. At the same time to them, I am Superman. I'm the knight in shining armor riding up on a white horse. Kelcie, Robin, Helen, Steve Whipple and his girlfriend, Jeff Greeno, and Nic Marques are a few that come to mind. Although, I don't really talk to Nic anymore, I helped him a couple times. I've always tried to conduct myself with honor and dignity. I wanted to have an aura around me that everyone saw. Chris Benoit had this aura whenever I watched him in WWE. He commanded respect just by his mere presence and he got it. Anyone and everyone that saw him, knew he was an honorable man. They knew they could trust him. It's a shame that his memory is tarnished by the tragic incident that happened in 2007. I still don't believe that he could be capable of something like that. That's what I want. I want my actions be noticed and heard, so that where ever I go, everyone knows who I am and what I stand for. To Helen and a few others, I'm already looked at in that way by them. I can tell, because they'll light up. The whole room will be lit. There are times that I'll be walking in a store or down the street and I get a few glances as if they're wondering what I'm all about. It worked with Denna back in 2008. She found me mysterious and wanted to know more about me. She'd glance at me every day until finally getting the courage to wave at me. I don't know why Helen would continue to talk to me after telling me that she wasn't looking for a relationship, but I know that she's not regretting it. I remember coming back to BCC after I flunked out of Cortland. There were a lot of new faces. Some of them talked to my friends and they told them who I was. Some of them walked up and shook my hand, told me who they were. When Denna dated Cory Cook briefly, she told him that I was the one that had to accept him. How Superman does it, I'll never know. He has many more people looking up to him than I do. But, for those that do turn to me for whatever reason, I give them my word. I will never let them down.

Looking For The Light At The End Of The Tunnel

I'm trying to keep this damn thing updated. I ended up going to a dealership with my parents on Saturday. Although my credit sucks, they worked with me on a lease for a 2013 Ford Focus. This helped me deal with the demise of the Suzuki. Monday, I went to see Helen. Her husband was there, which I figured he'd be since it was around 5:00 in the afternoon. Normally, when I see a girl I like with another guy, I usually wanna throw up. There's that twinge of pain that hits right in the middle of my heart. It was kind of scary on Monday... none of that happened when I saw them kiss. No twinge of jealousy, not heartache, nothing. I'm not sure if I have just learned to accept disappointment or if I'm just numb from all of the times I've been rejected. I'll never understand how dirtbags get these amazing women and manage to keep a hold of them. Sometimes, the girl comes to her senses and leaves, but the dirtbag gets them right back with them. I don't know how they do it. I'm almost starting to think I'm not trying hard enough. Regardless, any possibility of letting Helen know how much she means to me is out the window. The rest of the week went by without too many problems. For the most part, it was quiet. My trip to WrestleMania just got a bit more challenging. The U.S Department of Education has taken my tax return. That's $1300 that I was going to use to get caught up with everyone else that I owe money to. Here's the kicker. I have a payment plan with them. There's no reason for them to take my tax return money. I already tried calling them and was directed to a number that was "not available" at the time. I plan on trying again on Monday. If they refuse to return a good chunk of my tax return to me, I'll just close my account and choose a new bank. Illegal? Most likely, but I refuse to stay broke until I pay them the $13,000 I somehow owe them. Thanks to my mother and my grandmother, I'll still be going on my trip, this weekend. Hopefully, it'll snap me out of this slum I'm in. I'm starting to become more confident that The Undertaker will win. Someone at work threw out a few facts. He basically said why would he go 20-0 just to lose to someone like CM Punk. I agree it makes no sense. Also, I've been thinking that I should really get back into writing. More like starting to write is more like it. I have three passions. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, wrestling, and writing. Writing's been my passion since I was a kid. But, I always get writer's block and never put any of my good ideas on paper. I did a lot of little "stories" when I was a kid, but as I got older, I started doing less and less. I'm starting to question if writing really is my passion. Maybe it's just the fact that I'm my own critic and will accept nothing but the best. If something doesn't look right, I just stop and do it all over again. Sometimes, my mind races faster than I can put it down. I go too much into detail and explaining the scene. That's a huge mistake. I should just give enough information that's needed and let the reader use their imagination. That's why I wanted to be a writer in the first place. Another problem is that I have so many ideas, I don't know which one I want to focus on first. I may wanna go back to doing a few short stories to warm up. Then, work on an actual novel. I just know that I don't wanna self-publish. They'll never sell that way. That's what Robin did. Then again, she self-published and only told her friends and family. She expected us to spread the word. I did to an extent, but it takes more than just that. "I just want my books to take off," she'd say over and over again whenever we hung out. Well, then you gotta put the work in. You can't just sit there and expect to become a New York Times Best Selling Author overnight and then get pissed off when that doesn't happen. In order for me to realize my dream, I must first sit down and write until it's done. Then, I need to find an agent, possibly an editor as well. The agent does the advertising for me and even finds me a publisher. At that point, it's up to the public. Sure, I'll spread the word myself, but at the end of the day, the agent and publisher get the product out to the public. It's not easy. It takes a lot of dedication. I know that I have it. Now, I just gotta act on it. Maybe after my little vacation, I'll get back in it. Everybody talks about living the American dream, but not too many act on it.

Hell on Earth

In the beginning of May, one of my bosses wanted to get rid of me. His claim was that my work ethnic wasn't up to par. The real reason: he doesn't like my dad and the feeling's mutual. However, three people stuck up for me, so I could still have a job. My supervisor, the salesman, and Doug Gardner. Oh yeah, dad exploding on them, probably had something to do with it too. Just like the other months, this one wasn't any different. I hung out with Kelcie a few times, but it just feels like things aren't like they were. Jon's back in the picture and I'm none too happy about that. I'm just waiting for him to scew up again. Last Wednesday, I went over to Kelcie's to hang out. Well, he was there in the kitchen. I glared at him and went into the living room. I wanted to beat the holy hell out of him for what he did to Kelcie earlier, this year. Unfortunately, if I harm him, I jeopardize my friendship with Kelcie. I got in a huge argument with Robin about it. Things have cooled down with us a little, but there's still that tension whenever we talk now. Robin's another one that's driving me nuts. She's been acting ridiculous all year. She has cancer, but doesn't wanna have it treated. She claims she's being forced to get the surgery. "I'll never find love. I'll never find happiness," she's been whining for about a month and a half now. During the argument, I finally snapped and said, "well, with that attitude, you're never gonna find it. You're not doing a damn thing to find it." She flipped out, I flipped out back. It also doesn't help that she's not a big fan of Kelcie's. She was at first, but ever since Kelcie turned me down when I asked her out, Robin's been pretty cold towards her. I'm handling the situation like this: if they call me, I'll answer and talk to them. But, I'm through calling both of them. Kelcie and I will make plans for a certain day, then I'll call her only to find out she's busy or in the middle of something. Basically, translating to "I'm arguing with Jon, can't talk right now." So, I'm not calling her anymore. She'll call me if she needs me. Also, Danny's not doing that good either. Jay accused him of cheating on her with Robin. Um...HELL NO! Those two would clash if they ever got in a relationship. As friends, they're fine. But, if they tried to take it any further, it would end in disaster. Things were so bad on Thursday, I drove to Unadilla to Mike's place. Something stands out in my mind from last Thursday. When I got to Mike's, he was standing outside his door. Almost like he was expecting me to show up. When I got out of my car, he grinned and said, "holy shit, look who it is!" I walked over to him, not returning the smile. "I'm not happy," I said weakly. He asked what was up and I told him about my argument with Robin and the stuff going on with Kelcie. Mike calmed me down and I ended up spending a lot of my weekend over there. Danny's son's birthday was Saturday. Robin and I were still rocky, so I kept my distance. I got Danny's kid an Undertaker action figure. Until he got the bike from his grandparents, it was his favorite gift. He didn't let go of it UNTIL the bike came. I'm trying to get a new job, but with Colleges letting out, all those kids are gonna be snagging them. It's been a bit rough. I have Kelcie telling me one minute that she wants to get an apartment with me, then the next minute, she changes her mind. Now, she wants to get an apartment with me again, BUT she wants me to wait until she gets a job. I have no objection to living with her, but I can't wait forever. The rest of the month has consisted of me going to graduation, birthday, or welcome home from the air force parties. Sometimes, I've gone to two parties on the same day. This season of the Ultimate Fighter is boring. Now, Tito Ortiz is hurt and won't be able to face Chuck Lidell at the end of the season. Everything seems to be going to hell. It's all one big rollercoaster ride. Everything's going at break-neck speed up, down, forwards, backwards, twists, turns, spiraling, it never ends. I should be used to it by now. Right now, my game plan is to avoid everything that's bugging me and focus on becoming better than I am. I'm also looking for a good time while I'm at it. Hell, a party doesn't sound too bad right now. The parties at Danny's were epic back in the day. Those days are gone though. But, a couple years ago, those were some of the best times of my life. Everything was going great. Then, it just all went to hell. All good things come to an end. I know I say this at the end of every entry, but I hope that next month is better than this month. Somehow, I doubt it.

Not Getting Any Better

February wasn't really a great month. So far, March has been brutal. My favorite boss is dying. The last time I saw him, was in December. We met him at the Elk's Club for a few drinks. Walt Gardner's a great man. He's helped get us out of a few tough situations. When I needed a job in the summer, he gave me one at the machine shop. My dad's taking it extremely hard, which I knew would happen. What happened, was Walt and his wife Shirley went on vacation to Daytona, Florida. They go every year. Well, when they got there, Walt showed signs of having congestive heart failure, which is what my grandfather had and eventually took his life. He had an operation, but it didn't help as much as everyone thought it would. Then, he started to get progressively worse. We found out last week, that he has cancer. First, it was in his neck. However, last Friday we found out that it's brain cancer. I wish I could thank him for everything that he's done for us, but I know my dad won't want me to see him in the state that he's in. The only thing I can do, is pray that he doesn't suffer too much. Also, I found out over the weekend, that Kelcie's boyfriend tried to strangle her to death. Now, he's not known to show forces of violence, but Kelcie wouldn't lie or exaggerate about this. Also, I saw the marks. No one knows why he acted the way he did. He claims to not remember anything and since they had been drinking the night it happened, it could be true. Regardless of that, Kelcie has an order of protection against him and he's looking at some jailtime. I heard he's trying to committ suicide. Normally, I'd try to stop someone doing that, but after hearing the story Kelcie told me, I won't lose too much sleep if he succeeds. I'm probably gonna sound like one of those people that claims "I never really cared for this person that much," but truth be told... Jon could urk me at times. I remember when some of my friends that know Kelcie would ask me what her "new" boyfriend was like. I'd reply, "he's an alright guy, but he's not me." What that pretty-much means, is that I never really cared much for ANY of Kelcie's boyfriends. I was able to tolerate Cody until he turned into a manipulative, egotistical, spineless, cocksucker. After Cody, I really didn't care the others. Most of them I never did meet, but they didn't last long anyways. Even though Mike Sisson's my boy, I was real uneasy about him trying to get with Kelcie, because I know how he gets if a girl starts to iritate him. I wasn't about to let that happen to Kelcie. The paramedic was a douchebag. Never got to meet him... didn't really wanna meet him. This Tom guy that she brought to my birthday party was just a pretty-boy. Other than that, he had nothing. Kelcie and I have grown real close in the year and a half that we've known each other. I don't know how she'd feel if I had a girlfriend. I'm almost curious to see what her reaction would be like. Would it be one of jealousy, would she be happy for me, or would she have mixed feelings? This past weekend, Kelcie called me to see if I wanted to drive up to Cortland. I said sure, so I picked her up at her friend's place (got lost getting there), took her home to get directions and her things, then we got lost again on the way up there, but we eventually made it. We stayed in Julie's little college apartment. On the way home, Kelcie was a bit buzzed from the beer she was drinking before we left. I was driving, so I was sober. She saw this picture that Denna put up of me and Bridgette from New Year's Eve. Kelcie was a bit upset by the picture, so she was explaining how she felt. She kept saying, "I care about you, Jack. Denna and Bridgette don't care about you, but I do," and she said if I started hanging out with Bridgette, she'd have no choice but to cut me out of her life. She said that it would hurt her to do it and she didn't want to, but she would if she had to. I assured her that there was no way I would ever hang out with Bridgette. Kelcie's my number one girl. I'll choose her first over anybody. I know I've said this before, but Kelcie should've been the one that I went after back in 2008. I bet anything that if her and I were to have dated in 2008, things would be different for both of us. I'd probably have graduated from BCC and I'd probably be doing well in Cortland. She'd probably be with me in Cortland. Both of us would be happy. But, I went down a harder path. Poor Kelcie hasn't really done anything to anybody, but all of these people have gone out of their way to make her life miserable. I don't agree with that. After seeing what this girl has gone through in this year and a half that I've known her, I only have one thing to say. For the next person that tries to make life difficult for her, they're gonna have to go through me. That goes for anybody and everybody. If you mess with her, you mess with me. If you mess with me, you mess with an army of people that have my back at all times. So, the next person that targets her, will have to get past me and that ain't happening.

The Good Times Now And The Good Times Then.

This month's had it's ups and downs. The places that I owe money to, have been hounding me almost every day. I had to pay $779.58 on the brakes and brake lines to my car. The weather hasn't been that great, so I only got to drive it twice. Last weekend, I went to the 2CW show. Cory, his girlfriend, and Ryan went with me. That was a blast. Ryan and I were screaming at all the bad guys. One of them spit his gum out at me. I started chanting ECPW when the promoter (also a wrestler) came out. He acknowledged me, so hopefully there's a full house on March 12th when they come back. Still, there really are some dumbass fans in Binghamton. Two guys threw their beer at two different wrestlers. Honestly, how stupid or drunk were these guys? When I was cursing out the wrestler that spit out his gum at me, the guy that makes sure the fans don't get hurt, said to us, "I know you guys won't jump the barricade." That's because we know it's just a damn show. If I were to have seen that wrestler after the show, I'd have shook his hand and thanked him for entertaining me. Then, on that Sunday, Kelcie called me. She asked if I wanted to hang out and go to the mall. So, I got ready and drove over to get her. I still need to get used to driving. I was too damn nervous. I calmed down after a while and I did alright. Kelcie and I were supposed to go to this bar on Friday, but we got a huge snow storm that lasted two days. So, I didn't go. A couple weeks ago, my dad, Mike Mcgreal who works with us, and I went to this bar called the Hitchin' Post. That's where the luncheon was held after my grandfather's funeral. It was a fun time, but at one point, Mike went to talk to someone. This short dude pushed him out the door and wanted to fight him. Mom and I saw what was going on. She told my dad to get out there and stop it. I followed him out. As soon as we got out there, everyone backed off. We went back inside and enjoyed the rest of the night. At one point, an old neighbor of ours came. Her husband used to work at Akraturn for a few months back when it was in Kirkwood. That was back in 2007. She talked to my mom and dad at one side of the bar. I was just hanging out with my cousins and Mike on the other end. Mike asked me "who's the blonde talking with your mom?" I looked over. "Noooo! That can't be her!" I said out loud. I haven't seen her, since her and her husband moved out of Harpursville. I didn't think it was her, so I went back to talking with Mike. Well, she came over to where I was and gave me a huge hug. We talked for a little bit, then I introduced her to Mike. They say hello, then she says in front of him and my mom, "if I weren't married, this would be my guy." referring to me. That was an ego-booster. Things at Akraturn continue to get progressively worse. Now, my dad's on mandatory overtime. I'm not on it, because I'm in the assembly department. I saw that BCC Maintenance has a full-time spot open. I'm definitely putting my resume in for that. I need to get the hell out of there. This week, Kara's been putting up pictures from 2008 of all of us. Those days are long gone, but I think I know what she's getting at. She misses the old gang. I hang out with several circles of friends. In that particular circle, it was Abby, Kara, Robin, Johnny, me, a couple others. Now, Kara and Abby don't talk to Robin. Johnny broke up with Robin and apparently likes men now. I'm still around, but I'm just sort of doing my own thing. Even Da Boys and I don't hang out like we used to. Mike Sisson, Dan and Chris Reynolds, Dilly, Steve Clark, and me. We used to be a band of brothers. Then, Bridgette Taylor entered the picture and now I hardly see them. Sisson disappeared for a little bit, came back, and now he's just sort of idle. Then, there was Cody Marshal, Danny, and all them. It's no secret about what happened there. It's down to just Danny and me. Cody pissed a lot of people off including me and he only hangs out with a select few people. Although, I belonged to all of those circles, (not so much Cody's anymore), I'm sort of just sticking with my own circle. It's just me, Danny, and Kelcie. That seems to be my crew, now. Then, there was my Owego crew. Seth and his family. I don't miss Seth as much as I miss Aaron, Marcy, and all them. Seth just never progressed like he should have. I don't miss Cody at all. Denna told me that he misses all of us, though. Well, too damn bad. He made his choice when he did all that crap to Kelcie. As for Abby, Kara, and all them, I wish things were still good between everybody. It'd make things a lot easier on me. Talking to Robin anymore is just depressing. Kelcie's finally happy. She finally moved on. It's good to see her smile and know that it's for real. It's not just a fake one that she threw on, because she was thinking of that asshole. I'm starting to evolve like I should've years ago. I still want more and I still want better. I'll get to where I wanna be. I'm predicting within a year, I'll be totally happy with everything. I'm almost there. I just gotta keep doing what I'm doing and I'll be alright.

Improving Situations

Working at The Beef isn't as easy as Danny made it look. Two times, one of the cooks had to help me out. Maybe I'm expecting too much of myself. I work this Friday and I'm gonna try to keep up with everything. As far as the UFC universe goes, Roy Nelson's a cocky little bastard. He was gloating after beating Kimbo Slice. I doubt that Nelson will go all the way. Team Rampage lost yet another fight. Quentin did something that I don't necessarily agree with. He and the rest of his team left his defeated fighter in the octagon alone. Rashad and his assistant coaches went over to the defeated fighter and offered words of encouragement. Whether your boys win or lose, you should always support them. I missed an episode, because I was helping someone for the remainder of the week. He paid me well. Still, I wish there was more that I could do to earn just a little bit more. Kelcie called me, last week. It actually caught me off guard. I really didn't expect to hear from her. She wanted to hang out again sometime. I'm thinking of giving her a call over the weekend to see what she has going on. This week hasn't really been that great. My grandmother had a spontaneous bleed on her leg and ended up going to General Hospital. She's fine now, but I'm so sick of hospitals. Then, tonight my mother was at Lourde's Hospital. She has a gallstone that needs to be removed. Although I know that it really wouldn't matter, I really wish my grandfather was around when we all need him. I still can't believe that it's already been a month already. Also, yesterday I swung by BCC. I ran into Mike Sisin and he informed me that I'm no longer a godfather, because his friend got an abortion. He wasn't given a say on the matter. I have mixed feelings on that one. Also, it was brought to my attention that "there was no war" over the summer. That's funny, because it sure as hell felt like one. Then again, the person who informed me, was neutral. It probably didn't feel like a war to them, but it sure as hell felt like a war to me. A war that we won. Cody showed his true colors and as a result, nobody really likes him. Kelcie's happy, I'm sort of happy (if my damn family members could stay the hell out of the hospital) so the good guys won. But "there was no war". It doesn't even matter anymore. When I talked to Kelcie on the phone, we both realized the summer was actually pretty fun. Sure there were losers that tried to ruin it for us, but we got rid of them and had a blast. I did the best I could to make Kelcie's summer a good one and I think I did a pretty good job. My goal is to just get through the rest of the year and hope that 2010 is a better one.

The War is Ending.

It's no secret that this year hasn't really been that great. It sure as hell hasn't been a year for romance. Two solid relationships crumbled earlier in the year. One of them, I saw it coming. As for the other one, no one saw it coming. I've been fighting a war for five months over one of them. Now, it looks like I won't have to fight anymore. The war could possibly be coming to an end. Last week, I called Seth, so I could put my plan together to come back to Candor one last time. He suspects nothing and I intend to keep it that way. Marcy contacted me, because she wanted me at Aaron's birthday party on the 21st. She was worried that Seth and I would brawl at the party. I never intended on kicking his ass. I just wanted to get my stuff and get out. That's what I'm gonna do after Aaron's party. Out of sight, out of mind. God bless Marcy, though. She still wants me to work things out with Seth. Um...hell no. Then, Cody called me on Friday. He acted like nothing has happened in the past five months. I finally brought it up. I told him that he did Kelcie wrong. I also let him know that I didn't approve of how he handled things. He tried to explain himself. I told him that he was putting me between a rock and a hard place. I explained that if I started hanging out with him again, Kelcie would feel betrayed and our friendship would suffer. I honestly didn't know what to do. Then, I talked to Kelcie yesterday. She said that Cody texted her. I told her about the conversation him and I had on Friday. She filled me in on what's been going on with him. Basically, he found out that him and Bridgette wouldn't be able to date because of Brad, so he stopped talking to her. Now, he's trying to contact all of his old friends again. Kelcie called this. Still, neither one of us know what to do about it. Do we sit down and discuss with Cody all the damage that he's done? Do we just continue to go about things as we have? Kelcie said that either way, I'd be able to be her friend and Cody's if I choose. We still don't know what his deal is, though. He could very well be trying to manipulate us like he's been known to do. So, it looks like the war will have closure and just like I predicted, we won. Sunday, I stopped by my cousin's house. I found out that they live not to far from Kelcie and Danny's mom. They're Italians, so the first words were asking if I was hungry. I did eat over there. I stayed a good two hours. It was nice. I plan on coming around there more often. Maybe I'll take Danny or Kelcie with me sometime. I like that side of the family and I don't really get to see them that much. I remember something my cousin, Charlie said at my Uncle Tony's funeral. "Weddings and funerals, that's the only time the family gets together," he said sadly. Saturday, Danny ordered UFC 101. The two promoted fights weren't bad. The Forrest Griffen/Anderson Silva fight was disappointing. Forrest got knocked out in the first round. Everybody that was watching complained that the fight was paid for. I doubt that was the case. Forrest definitely lost some respect points, because after he was knocked out, he got up and ran out of the Octagon. That's disrespectful to his opponent. As for the BJ Penn/ Kenny Florian fight, that wasn't disappointing at all. BJ submitted Kenny in the fourth round. Overall, the PPV was far better than UFC 100. Later, that night Cory texted me to let me know he has his 2CW money. I called him yesterday to remind him about meeting me. He said he'd call me later that day and informed me that him and Denna broke up. That's no surprise to me. She sleeps around a lot. She's disloyal, two-faced, double crossing, and a complete waste of time. If I knew then, what I know now, I'd have blown her off completely. Hell, I'd have gotten with Kelcie. I'm still kicking myself over that one. Oh well, her life sucks, right now. I'm not doing too bad for myself and I know Cory will be better off without her. She'll regret it, someday. She'll come crawling back to us and I'm just gonna laugh. She screwed up and she'll have to live with that. She ran out of chances. I'm moving on to bigger and better things.

Storybook Ending

Last week was pretty interesting. Monday, Mike Sisin called me up. He vented a little bit about Kelcie. His main problem is that he no longer wants to play around, so he's looking for someone that feels the same way. On top of that, he wants to get with Kelcie. The problem with that is for one thing, she's still not over that egotistical, manipulative, asshole, Cody. Another thing is that she's not ready to jump in a relationship with anyone. She's tried several times, but because she's not over Cody, they've all failed. Mike and Kelcie have done a few things together, but the problem is that to Kelcie, they meant nothing. To Mike, they meant something. He was irritated that she still won't date him due to the fact that they've hung out for the past two weeks along with everything they did. I'm gonna say this one last time. If anyone has a reason to bitch about not dating Kelcie, it's me. Again, here are the reasons why. I've taken her out to dinner twice, I took her to the movies once, I've had to listen to her talk about Cody 24/7, I've watched her cry about it several times, and when everyone else was against her, I stood by her whenever she needed me. However, I'm not bitching about it. What Mike needs to do, is just accept the fact that they're probably only going to be friends...like her and I are. We headed over there to find that Kelcie was stressed and upset. Kelcie also informed me that although Denna may act all nice when I'm around or talking to her online, she acts differently towards me behind closed doors. That pissed me off a great deal. Here's this girl that has played me, Cory, and that loser ex-husband of hers, and she has the nerve to say that I'm too clingy and annoying. It was her that came back and talked to me. I was perfectly fine not talking to her. What was all that about? Did she just do that to sooth her guilty conscience? Before, I actually did care about Denna and I'll even admit that I felt sorry for her. But, after hearing how freakin' two-faced she really is, that amount of pity is gone. Denna's an immature, stupid, little slut that doesn't know what she wants and is gonna piss off the wrong person someday. This stupid little slut complains about me when she cheated on her husband TWICE??? Hell, I'm ten times better than Denna will ever be. When I get married, I'm not gonna have to worry about my wife cheating on me and she won't have to worry about me either. There will be no divorce. That will be it for both of us. Because Kelcie was upset and I was pissed, Mike suggested hanging out for a bit. So, that's what we did. They ended up going to the cabin, but I stayed in Binghamton. I'm not going there unless it's just Mike and me or if there's another girl there for me to hang out with. Tuesday, Robin called me to ask if she could stay at my place for a night. She wasn't getting along with her mom or Johnny and she felt that she was gonna snap. I asked mom, she said it was fine. Then, I hung out with Kelcie for the rest of the day. We picked up Robin and headed back to my place. Dad came home drunk, talked to Robin a bit, then Robin was arguing with her brother about Johnny. Before I continue, I should mention that Robin works for the state as a notery. She can't say "no" to a job that they give her, because it's considered a felony. With that being said, she told her brother on the phone, "if I go to jail because of that son of a bitch, he's going with me." Dad heard her, took me aside, and got in my face about it. I told him to ignore it. She wasn't doing anything wrong, but he kept glaring at me. So, I glared at him back. It wasn't until Robin explained what she meant that he lightened up a bit. The rest of the night went smoothly. Wednesday and Thursday were nothing special. Friday, I got my haircut and some other things that I needed for the wedding on Saturday. Saturday, I found out that we were going to the actual wedding and then going to my dad's boss's pool party until the reception. The wedding wasn't too bad. The only things I'd have changed, would be the temperature inside the church and the person performing the ceremony. It was incredibly hot in the church and the priestess was boring. She had a solemn tone when she spoke as if she were preaching at a funeral. The pool party wasn't too bad. Dad got in all his cheap shots in on me while we were there, which was fine with me. Whenever we're at family gatherings or parties, he usually brings up all of my short-comings. I thought that he'd do the same at the wedding to which I planned on firing back despite the consequences that would follow. However, to my surprise, he didn't do anything like that. We got there a half hour early. I waited outside for Kelcie. She was a half hour late. Man, she looked incredible. I remember looking at the pictures from Denna's wedding. She looked ordinary. She didn't do anything to look above the norm. Then again, I think she knew deep down that this marriage was gonna fail. This wasn't even Kelcie's wedding, but she put in that extra effort and she looked gorgeous. The dinner was excellent. I took Kelcie around and introduced her to my family and friends. Dad liked her. That's real big, because dad doesn't like too many of my friends. In fact, I can count them on one hand. We danced about six times. She kept thanking me for inviting her. I'm glad she made it. At my cousin, Jamie's wedding, the band sucked, Robin was on my ass about her freakin' dogs, and I had no one to dance with. Basically, that wedding wasn't really that good. At Kacie's wedding, the band was better, no one was on my back, and I had someone to dance with. We had a great time. Being at home for long periods at a time, takes it's toll on me. I start feeling bitter and worthless. At Kacie's wedding, I felt like a million bucks. Both Kelcie and myself had a good time. Kelcie and I just went as friends and that's how it stayed. I don't think anything will change as far as that goes. There aren't too many people trying to get with her anymore. Seth's probably still trying to get with Mandy and Calvin has a girlfriend. I don't see us dating, although I don't think I'd mind it. Personally, I think I was the better choice out of all of them. I don't know what Mike's thoughts are on getting with her. Well, for whoever tries, I just have one thing to say. Beat that, boys. That wedding was out of a fantasy story and nobody's gonna be able to top that. Once again, the guy that has no job and no car has blown by everyone. Someday, someone's gonna be very lucky. Whoever it is, I just hope they deserve it.

The Past , The Present, The Future

Things aren't getting any better. In fact, things are getting progessively worse. My relationship with my father isn't going very well. I'm still out of a job and long friendships are ending. The week I spent in Candor was the second to last one. The next time I go to Candor, I'm grabbing my stuff and I'm never going back. Last weeekend, wasn't that great. I stayed home for the majority of it. I only left the house on Saturday to go to the ECPW show. The new place that they had it was cold as hell. They're never having it there again. Sunday, I went to a baseball game with my dad and my uncles. We had been drinking. I'm suspecting that one of my uncles is cheating on my aunt, but I don't have solid proof. It looks that way, though. On the way home, my dad said something that triggered an emotional reaction inside me. We didn't exactly have the greatest conversation. He had been drinking too, but I think I was more out of it than he was. Both of us said things that we didn't mean. Between crying, puking, and cursing him out, I think it's safe to say that I've had better Sunday afternoons. Him and I are fine now. We both apologized and acknowledged that it was the alcohol that caused both of us to lash out. I understand where he's coming from and I appreciate that. Everybody wants the best for their kids. I know I can be better, but before I get into that, I'll get into the other events that have happened. Last Saturday, Seth and I went to his dad's 50th birthday party. That wasn't too bad. Then, we picked up Danny and went to my cousin's party before he was sent to Iraq. That wasn't too bad either. However, my dad did something that I thought was uncalled for. He shook Seth's hand as we were leaving, but refused to shake mine. The reason why this was a big deal is due to the fact that he can't stand Seth or his family. That came up in our emotional conversation on Sunday. Well, he wasn't really emotional...I was though. I understand his reasoning now, but at the time, I thought it was uncalled for. Then, I was SUPPOSED TO watch UFC 100 with Danny and Seth. Kelcie and Mike Sisin called me. They invited me to the cabin. Well, Danny and Seth were giving me a hard time about it. Eventually, Danny stopped and everything was fine. Seth on the other hand, was being an asshole. He said that if I went, he wasn't taking Kelcie with him and his family to Warped Tour. Basically, it's a three-day concert. He'd been promising her this for months. The real reason why he didn't wanna take her, was because of Mandy. She was giving him a hard time about taking Kelcie instead of her. Basically, she was manipulating him again and like the pathetic worm that he is, he was giving in. So, it had nothing to do with me. He was just making it seem like he was punishing her. Because of his attitude, I chose to go to the cabin with Mike and Kelcie. For the most part, it was the better choice with a few exceptions to some of the events that occurred that night. If I had to go back and choose again, I'd still go with my first choice. Then, he changed his mind and said she could go. However, she needed to pay $40 for the ticket. He was supposed to pay for her ticket. He promised her. I was gonna do it for her, but then the price was raised to $80 for the camp site. So, she couldn't go because of all that. Then, she called me up crying about that asshole, Cody and I finally had enough. I told her to move on. That got her annoyed at me. I just fixed that, now. Both her and Mike think I should've just kept that one to myself, but I stick with what I said. I truly feel that she needs to move on from him, because he's no better than Seth. So, because the son of a bitch has stabbed me in the back earlier this year and he pulled an asshole stunt like that to Kelcie, I'm grabbing my stuff from his place at some point, and I'm done with his ass. He's a stupid, selfish, immature, good for nothing, scumbag. My friends never liked hanging out with him. The only reason that I hung out with that idiot for as long as I did, was because his family wasn't anything like him and treated me like gold. The other reason was that I thought that maybe he'd get his head out of his ass and change. I was wrong. So, I lost two friends, this year. They're small losses, so I'm not too broken up about it. Of course, there'll be people talking. They'll say that I did it just so I could get with Kelcie. They'll say that she manipulated me into hating them. Let me just set it straight. Seth screwed Seth and Cody's responsible for the destruction of our friendship. He hurt that girl badly and I can't hang out with someone like that. Kelcie and I will never be a couple. We're just really good friends. If people see me as the bad guy, then so be it. Now, onto how things used to be. I've been thinking about how things were so much better a few years ago. 2007 seemed to be the golden year for me. I had good friends, I was working with my dad making good money, my grades weren't bad. It was just my year. 2008 wasn't too bad either. I look at how things were, then I look at them now. I'm pretty-much at the bottom. I remember when my parents compared me to Seth earlier, this year. Here's a guy that has a job and car, but nobody really wants to hang around him. Then, there's me. No job, no car, but everyone wants to hang out with me. My parents didn't see it that way. They still thought he was a loser, but they thought he was more on the ball than I was. I laughed at that. I may not have a job or a car at the moment, but someday I will. I don't think I've done half bad for a guy that doesn't have a job or a car. When Seth liked Kelcie and tried to blow past me to get with her, I rose to the occassion. I took her out to dinner twice, I took her to the movies, I danced with her at Danny's sister's party, and I had no job and no car. She always came to me. At his place, she'd cuddle with me on the couch and he'd just sit there like an idiot. Then, Mandy entered the picture again. Well, I didn't want Mandy, but he did. Yet, he was trying to get with Kelcie, so he'd invite her to all these things. When Mandy came around, he tried to cut Kelcie out of the picture, so he could get with Mandy. Here's the amusing part. I talked to Mandy about that. She only has some interest and she's not rushing into anything. Basically, Seth's gonna be her bitch. I'll admit that I'm not perfect. I'll even admit that I'm not as good as I was two years ago. But, I'll be better than I ever was. Give me two more weeks and I'll be back on top. I'm getting rid of all the losers that I've hung out with. I'll restore my confidence in myself. I'll pay the people I owe. I'll continue to focus on my goals. I might not be much right now, but it's still early yet. I'm gonna be better than ever. As for UFC 100, it wasn't a bad Pay Per View, but it wasn't a good one either. Dan Henderson knocked out Mike Bisping. Brock Lesnar knocked out Frank Mir. As far as I'm concerned, it couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

Memorial Day Weekend

Sleep was an option, this weekend. I never get enough of it. However, I usually get a decent amount. Well, that wasn't the case for a good portion of the weekend. Thursday, I helped Seth's mom out a little, then Seth and I went to go see Terminator Salvation. We left earlier than we usually would, because it was opening night. We went to see Danny for a little bit. Then, we headed back to the movie theater. However, my phone went off before we went in. Kelcie called me wanting to hang out. She had graduated from BCC that night and she wanted to celebrate. Back in the day, Denna would wanna hang out when there were wrestling PPVs on. I used to blow her off to watch them. Now, look where it got me. I wasn't about to make the same mistake twice. I told Seth to attempt to get a refund for the tickets. He just switched them for the 10:00pm show the next night. We picked up Kelcie and decided to go to the hooka bar. We hung out there for a while, then we went back to The Beef. We hung out with Danny a little bit. I got Kelcie a glass of wine. She's a bit of a light-weight, so it didn't take much to get her buzzing. We took her home, then we took Danny home. I got to play the role of the hero, that night. Kelcie said she didn't wanna drag us away from the movies, but I said it was no big deal. I could hear the appreciation in her voice when I told her that Seth was refunding our tickets. I got another peck on the cheek as a thank you. The next day, I helped Seth's mom prepare for Christian's birthday party. When Seth got out of work, we went to see Terminator Salvation. This time, Mike Sisin called me. We had to save him from his dumb girlfriend, Tiffany. After the movie was over, we came and got him. That's when sleep became very scarce. We were up until 5:00 in the morning. I slept until 3:00 in the afternoon, but Seth had to work at 1:00 in the afternoon. We had plans to go to Tioga Downs to watch UFC 98. We were both tired as hell. Danny, Jay, and Kelcie came along with us. I was watching the event when Kelcie came up to me. She didn't know how to play the slot machines. I started to get up to show her and again, she said that she didn't wanna drag me away from what I was doing. I said it was no big deal and I tried to help her. I eventually grabbed Seth and Danny to help her. Danny stopped after $20.00 and watched the event with me. Jay and Kelcie came over to us. Kelcie asked for a dollar and acted all cute and innocent. "I'll give you a kiss on the cheek," she swooned. Well, because I can hardly say no to any girl, she got what she wanted and I got what I wanted. Actually, she ended up getting another two bucks off me. In return, I got to rub her down when we got back to the house. We got to the house and Danny, Seth, and Jay watched a movie. Kelcie and I hung out downstairs. I rubbed her down and she gave me a back rub. Then, Danny and Jay took the bedroom I usually sleep in. Seth slept in his room. Kelcie and I took the couch. One thing about Kelcie is that she hates being alone. So, she wanted me as close as possible. We positioned ourselves opposite of one another. She said her feet were cold, so I placed them under my shirt. Even when I'm freezing, my body's still warm. She said that was "heavenly." Still, I couldn't really sleep. Eventually, she fell asleep and I temporarily was able to move into a more comfortable position. I don't know how long I slept, but I know it wasn't very long. Well, we all got up at noon. Seth took everybody home. I was with Danny and Jay at his mom's place. They had a cook-out, that day. Danny's family are very nice. There was plenty of food. They told me to come back again. Seth came to get us. He dropped Danny and Jay off, then he took me to the movie theater to meet my friend, Stephanie. We made plans to see Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian. After the movie was over, I said good bye to Steph and had Seth pick me up. Because we didn't sleep very much in the past two nights, Danny let us stay at his place for the night. The minute I got to Danny's, I threw a pillow on the floor and collapsed on it. The rest of them were watching TV. Danny asked if I had seen one of the new episodes of Family Guy. I responded with "don't care," and tried to sleep. Now, before I continue, there's a few things that should be brought to everyone's attention. I've pretty-much spoiled Kelcie rotten for the past month. The reason being is that she's worth it. I've taken her out to dinner twice, I've given her back massages, and I just never say no to her about anything. But, unlike everyone else that I've spoiled, she's shown her appreciation. Also, I have a thing for eyes. Some say that they're a window to the soul. I respect the power that eyes have. They tell the whole story. My two weaknesses with girls are when they give the puppy dog look and when they cry. Kelcie's only given me the puppy dog look twice, but she did it playfully. Alright, now that's been brought to everyone's attention, I can continue. So, I'm trying to sleep, but after being there for only five minutes, I feel something playfully poke my side. I looked up and Kelcie's sitting in the armchair, smiling brightly at me. "Where's my foot massage?" she asked playfully. "You want one?" I asked as I rolled over on my back. She took her flip-flops off and rested her feet on my stomach. When I was a kid, mom and I would watch movies a lot. We'd lay on opposite sides of the couch and she'd ask me to give her foot rubs. Because of this, I eventually became pretty good at giving them. My lady friends have suggested that I made that my profession, but that's not happening. With my luck, some old fat lady would come in wanting one and I'd have no choice, but to massage her. Screw that! However, I haven't heard one complaint to this day. So, I gave Kelcie a foot massage and it hit me that she's really getting used to me spoiling her. She's also becoming very comfortable around me, which is doing wonders for my self-esteem. She thanked me for the foot massage and gave me a big hug, then she left. I finally fell asleep after an hour. Yesterday, I went over to Robin's for yet another bbq. It didn't last long, but Seth had to work, so I hung out with her the rest of the day. Apparently, things have sucked for her too. I promised that I'd come back and hang out with her again real soon. Hanging out with Robin brought me back to how it used to be back in the day. We used to hang out all the time. That also did wonders for my self-esteem. I go back home, tomorrow. Luckily, I only have to be there two days and then I'm leaving again. Danny's son's birthday is Saturday and I'm going bowling with a friend of mine on Friday. So far, things are slowly improving again.

One Of A Kind

Team USA pulled off a win, last night. I was kind of surprised at that. Team USA whines and cries a lot. It's really embarrassing. This week, Jason Pierce was pissing and moaning about everything. Everyone on Team USA are sick of his negativity. He hurt his foot during the fight that he won to get inside the house. Not only that, but he's friends with the guy that Dan Henderson wants him to fight. Needless to say, he's a little reluctant stepping into the octagon. This is how it is. When you're in the UFC, sometimes you have to fight your friends. If you're on the Ultimate Fighter show, the chances of making friends are almost a guarantee unless you're an asshole. I always get annoyed when a fighter says, "We're friends and all, but I gotta bash his face in." It seems like a cocky statement from where I'm standing. If I were a UFC fighter and I had to fight a good friend of mine, I'd say something to the effect of "I'm just gonna do my best and we'll still be friends either way." Anyway, Jason Pierce has done nothing but bitch and moan for two weeks now. He even walked away from an assistant coach when he was talking to everybody. As far as he was concerned, practice was over. That was last week, though. This week, he was just a miserable son of a bitch. Everybody including the UK guys were fed up with him. Team USA's down and the last thing that they need, is someone spreading negativity. Jason Dent beat his opponent with a choke/armbar hold. Dana White called in Jason Pierce after the fight. He basically told him that he was done. He could tell that Pierce had no intention of fighting, so he benched him. Dana said it best, last night. You either have the heart to fight or you don't. Pierce didn't have it, so Dana didn't waste his time on him. The episode ended with Pierce having a temper tantrum in the parking lot. Dan Henderson didn't have faith in Pierce winning anyways. I kind of feel sorry for Henderson. Although, he's only down by one win, his team has performed poorly so far. Then again, a coach's leadership shows through his players. When I was on the wrestling team in 2001, I had the worst coach to ever step foot on a mat. He didn't really care about the sport at all. He only agreed to be the coach to save the program. I don't know if he did it to act like some kind of hero, but he was far from it. There was a lot of b.s during practices. The guys on the team didn't care, because the coach didn't care. The team captain sucked both on and off the mat. His attitude was piss-poor. I remember the coach bringing in a friend of his to show us some techniques. The guy observed all of us and then said, "There's a lot of grab-assing going on in this room, right now. So, I'm going to leave. When all you guys are done grab-assing, give me a call." Then, he stood up from his chair and left. My grades sucked, so I didn't really get that much mat-time, but that's not the point. In 2002, a new coach took over. There was no b.s and the guy knew what he was doing. He did wonders for the program. He bought new warm-up gear, new sweat shirts, and a new wrestling mat that we needed badly. There was less grab-assing and more getting down to business. We still joked around and had fun, but we were working our asses off too. Grades were still horrible, but the team was starting to improve. I took a year off, because I knew my grades wouldn't be any better that year. Well, the team was still improving. They were actually winning tournaments now. When I returned to the mat in 2004, not only did we become Division II Mac Champions, but I finally secured a win. Dan Henderson needs to turn his team around and fast. Quarter-finals are right around the corner. He needs to even things up, next week. As for the "war on friendship", things have pretty-much stayed the same. Actually, I haven't hung out with Kelcie that much, this week. I haven't hung out with Denna at all, since she came home. I still don't know what to think of Cody. I'm still not happy about everything he's done. Choosing Bridgette over Kelcie is like choosing a rusty used car over a Lambo. I've probably said this before, but I should've dated Kelcie instead of trying to get with Denna, last year. I think I might've had a chance. I kind of feel bad for her too. Not just because of all the hell Cody put her through, but because everyone wants to date her. Calvin, Seth, me...well not so much me, but at one point, I'd have asked her out. She asked me a couple weeks ago when Steve Clark and I had picked her up for my party if I ever got tired of Seth. The answer is all of the time. I put up with Seth because I have to. Some of my major issues that I have with him are his lack of hygiene and appearance, his immaturity, his inability to think before he speaks, and he tries to be me. His freakin' cousin's the same way. Both of them try to act like me. They don't dress like me, because that's just not possible. They do try to talk like me. I've complained about this before. Hence the reason I don't say "Champ" anymore. Here's an example of how Seth tries to be like me. Whenever we're in his car and a song from the 90's comes on the radio, I'll shout "old school!" Well, now HE does it. Another example: Danny's puerto rican and has an accent when he talks. I can match his accent and sound just like him. Now, Seth does the same "Danny" accent that I do. It's kind of annoying. I remember Kelcie assuring me that I'd never be like anyone else. She and most of my friends agree that I'm one of a kind. There'll never be another person that's just like me. Seth needs to get that through his head. Also, I can get away with a lot. Well, Seth'll see me get away with it and just assume that he can get away with it too. Well, he can't get away with the same crap I can. I don't even know how I get away with it. He made a fat joke to Chris once when I was at Cortland. Chris told him in a very serious tone, "Jack's not here to save you anymore." I find that funny, because I never did save Seth from anybody. A month ago, Kelcie asked for our help with a video project. I had to "fall" and need help getting back up. Well, Seth's role was to offer a hand and allow me to lean on him. During one of the takes, I said in a low voice: "this is the only time I will ever use you as a crutch." He thought I was kidding, but I wasn't. Hell, I remember when Denna came back home the first time. I wanted to see her, so Seth and I went to Danny's. He was saying crap like, "if it weren't for me, you wouldn't get to see her." I put him in his place fast. I told him that I'd have done whatever it took to get to Danny's that night, whether it were to take a bus, find someone else to take me, or walk. I told him to never make himself more important than he is. After all of these stories that I just told, why do I still hang out with him? I claim that I don't need him and he's worthless, so why do I still allow him to chill with my friends and me? Well, first of all, his family's nothing like him and they're good, honest, hard-working people. Second of all, keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer.

Nothing Changed.

The weekend was definitely interesting. Friday, I took Kelcie out to dinner like I promised her. It started out pretty good. This time I was able to cover not only the meal, but the tip as well. The last time that I went out on a date, it was back in 2005. I paid for everything that night as well. That's how it should be. The man should pay for everything. Hell, the man should DO everything. I feel like a loser if I can't pay for anything and I'm hanging out with a girl. Last year, I was pretty good financially. When I was at the bars, I could pay for a beer for me and whatever the girl wanted. I was able to experience the finer things in life. But nothing lasts forever. Well, everything was so far so good. Then, she wanted to go to this bubble tea's place in vestal. That was fine with me. She ordered her drink, I ordered mine. She reached in her wallet and I pulled out a $10.00 bill. I handed the cashier the money while asking her what did she think she was doing. When someone's out on a date with me, I pay for everything. She was beaming appreciatively. Things were going better than even I could imagine. Then, just like everything else, they came crashing down. Of all the people to walk into that damn place, Cody and Bridgette walked in. Kelcie's mood plummeted. We left immediately. I was pissed off, because I was trying to give Kelcie just one night where she didn't have to think about any of that crap. Kelcie, even though she was upset, noticed that I wasn't too happy either. She thought I was pissed that our date was ruined. Which, I do admit that was one of the reasons why I was pissed. But, it was more that I was trying to give Kelcie one good night and I couldn't even do that. Well, she said that dinner was wonderful and she thanked me for everything. I was still fuming, though. So, she asked if I wanted a kiss on the cheek. I responded with "I don't care." Not the best choice of words I admit. Luckily for me, Kelcie wasn't offended. Instead, she grabbed the front of my shirt and said "well, come here, cutie." Then, she gave me a soft kiss on my cheek. We hung out at Danny's for a little bit, then I went to The Beef to meet Seth and bring Danny home. I told Danny what happened. Danny's response was "if she breaks my brother's heart, I'm gonna break her heart." Calvin's been hanging out with Kelcie ever since she went with him to his sister's 15th birthday party. She told me that she likes hanging out with Calvin, but she doesn't like him as a boyfriend. However, she hasn't told Calvin that. So far, Calvin's been making all the moves. Kelcie's trying to be nice and not hurt anyone's feelings, but she needs to be honest with this guy before it gets ugly. I don't really approve of Danny preparing to get all hostile over the situation. It's Calvin's business. I'd remain neutral if something happened, but I'd still be between a rock and a hard place. When we got back to Danny's Cody was there along with Calvin and Kelcie. I honestly don't know what Cody's intentions are. I am proud of Kelcie for being strong so far. When he called her, she threw it all back in his face. A lesser girl would've forgave and forgot. She was smarter than that. They were talking outside, but I don't know what was said. I just made sure both of them were alright before I left. I had about a six pack after my date with Kelcie, so I was pretty hammered. Part of me isn't too happy with Cody trying to talk to Kelcie again. He's used her the past couple months and he disregarded her thoughts and opinions about pretty-much everything. Kelcie said there was nobody better than Cody, but I disagree. Everytime I look in the mirror, I see someone better than Cody. If I see him doing his usual antics, I'm putting a stop to it...FAST! I slept until 2 in the afternoon. Then, I had to go back to Hancock to help Seth's mom and step-father. I was just helping them prepare the computer lab for the summer. I'm going back to help them finish up on Thursday and Friday. However, I refuse to work there again. I had my fill, last year. I don't care how desperate I get, I will never work at that place again. It's not worth it. Sunday, we all went to a barbeque in Kirkwood. There were a few people from Harpursville over there. They pretty-much stayed the same with the exception that they drink now. Then, Danny, Seth, and I went to the movies. They saw Star Trek, I saw Angels & Demons. I had no interest of seeing Star Trek. Monday, I helped Marcy get the rest of her stuff out of the house. She rewarded me by getting me all tanked up. I came home today, but I'm just gonna leave again on Thursday. I wanted to hang out with some people this week, but I gotta do this other crap. Next week, I'll hang out with everyone.

Team UK: 1 Team USA: 0. Invasion In The Octagon.

Team UK dominated the first fight against Team USA. Although, the fight itself lasted longer than I thought it would. The UK fighter planted a beautiful, picture-perfect kick to the side of the USA fighter's head. Mike Bisping was already claiming victory before the fight was even announced. There was one USA guy that was getting annoyed by this. He's a bit childish, though. He spent the entire episode writing on Team UK's clothes. Like T-shirts and wrestling shoes. Writing things like USA 1 UK 0. Bisping just told his guys to rise above it and let Team USA look like jackasses. I agree with him. I can just tell that this guy from Team USA and Bisping are going to clash before the season's over. Mainly, because Bisping is very cocky. I'm sure after every fight that Team UK wins, Bisping will gloat just loud enough for all of Team USA to hear. As for the fight itself, it wasn't bad, but it wasn't that great either. At one point, it looked like the USA fighter had tapped out. In fact, I'm almost positive that he did. However, Herb Dean was the referee for the match. He's the worst ref on the UFC payroll. I didn't have a problem with his refereeing skills UNTIL UFC 61: Bitter Rivals. There was a big grudge match that pitted Tito Ortiz against Ken Shamrock. These two guys at the time, HATED each other. When the fight began, Shamrock darted straight for Ortiz. Ortiz took him down and peppered him with elbows. Herb Dean stopped the fight 28 seconds into it, making Ortiz winner by TKO. I was pleased that Ortiz won, but come on! Everybody else was pissed and felt they were ripped off. I think the reason why Herb Dean stopped the fight so early, was because he didn't want either fighter's blood on his hands. Still, it was a freakin' grudge match. Ever since, I have thought that Herb Dean has been the worst ref ever. Last night, he was just as sloppy. There was definitely a tap out, but Herb Dean didn't stop the fight. Instead, he asked: "was that a tap?" By that time, the USA fighter had gotten out of the submission hold. I would've been extremely pissed if he had won after that. He clearly tapped and Bisping had seen it as well. So, Herb Dean sucks as a ref. As far as the rest of the week goes, it hasn't been too bad. One of the new people that I've met at BCC, asked for my help with an audio extra credit project. We both have the same class together, so I said sure. He's using me as the topic. I asked what he wanted to discuss and his answer was, "I wanna know what makes Jack....Jack." It got me thinking about how I plan on answering that. It'd probably have been easier just to ask some of my friends that know me. I'm still pondering how I'm gonna answer that. I have a certain amount of respect and honor that hovers around me. My sense of humor is probably the biggest factor. It also allows me to get away with a lot more than I should. Other than that, I can't really think of anything else. I dress casual, but in a way, it's still unique than most. I believe in giving people what they deserve whether it's good or bad. I also believe in keeping your friends close and your enemies closer. My ego's definitely a factor. I didn't really have one until after high school. Even then, it wasn't really that big. Now, I have a huge ego. Sometimes it's good, sometimes not so much. I really can't explain it. Still, I'm going to try to answer his question as best that I can. He's not planning on getting started until Monday. That still gives me time to think it over.

Reminiscing

Things are starting to calm down a bit around here. With the exception of Monday, the week wasn't that bad. Then again, I didn't hang out at BCC that much, so that could have something to do with it. I haven't talked to Kelcie, since she called me on Sunday. Dan and Chris wanted to talk to her, but I told them not to worry about it. They didn't want Bridgette to break up my friendship with her, but she didn't. Kelcie chose to end it herself. Depending on how this week goes, I might call her up and settle things. Worse case scenario, I'll make sure I get the last word. Friday, after Seth got out of work, we went over to The Beef to hang out with Danny. That was actually a smart move. Cody wanted us to go to the hooka bar, but we'd have to pick up Bridgette on the way. Seth didn't want her in his car, so I told Cody he was too tired to go anywhere. One of Danny's co-workers, Joe called up a lady friend of his. She told him that she was bringing three of her friends with her. He turned to me and said, "I only need one of them, so play it cool." I thought that was freakin' awesome. I'm used to these freakin' guys surrounded by a group of girls and they're usually unwilling to share. Joe has his priorities in order. He knows that he only needs one girl to be happy. When they came, I talked to one of them. Her name's Jane, she goes to Binghamton University. Unfortunately, they didn't stay long, but Joe works with Danny, so I'm not worried about not seeing them again. Saturday, was gonna be the big Mardi Gras party. Key word in that sentence is "was". Danny left his girlfriend, Jay in charge of that party. Jay doesn't really know how to plan a party, so there was a drunk annoying guy, a pregnant girl with her black boyfriend, and Seth and me. Seth and I left around midnight. I called Danny when we got home, because I was bored AND I wanted to find out if any girls managed to show up. "No, everybody left," he replied. We talked about how disappointing the party was and then I told Danny about the parties at Camp that I hosted. Danny said those were the kind of parties that he wanted. I wish Danny could've made those parties. For one thing, nobody would've messed with me if Danny were there. Nothing would've been broken and I'd still have had $200 in my wallet. As I was reminiscing about the parties at Camp, it came to me that I really did enjoy myself, last summer. Sure, the job wasn't exactly a barrel of laughs and I missed my boys back home, but at the end of the day, those same people that I worked with were in the same boat that I was in. I wouldn't go as far as say we were a second family, but we made the best of it. I miss anybody from Australia. They were just awesome. Especially, Matt and Erin. I think I was Erin's favorite. Matt would tell me that Erin always asked how I was doing. She was great. My other favorite was Meagan from Scotland. Her and I were gonna hang out at the place I was staying, but that never happened. I have a feeling that she'll work at the camp again, because last year was her second year working there. I do plan on visiting the camp a couple times, this summer. But, I have no intention of working there again. Before going to Danny's, I took a long walk. I had a lot of things on my mind. Mostly, Denna was on my mind. I found out on Friday that she was leaving early Saturday morning to go back to Kansas. If I had known she was leaving sooner, I'd have made an effort to hang out with her during the week. As I've said before, I have a few journals from high school. My journal from 9th grade is filled with pages about wrestling. Wrestling, wrestling, wrestling, my girlfriend, wrestling, my girlfriend, wrestling wrestling, wrestling. Then, my 2006 journal AND my old livejournal online is filled with Ashley. Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, Ashley. That's all it is. I've read this one a few times. Now, I discovered a pattern. This one's filled with things about Denna. Denna, Denna, Denna, Denna. Yeah sure, there's other stuff in here as well, but from 2008 to about now, it's been all Denna. I've been thinking of why I didn't tell her about everything a year ago. Last night, I realized why. I thought that I had already lost. My spirit was broken. So, I just let her go. I felt used, so I just let her go. 2008 was definitely my year. My favorite football team, the Giants won the superbowl, Undertaker won the World Heavyweight Championship at Wrestlemania, my bank account was the best it's ever been, and Denna came into my life. I wasn't alone in 2008, because she was there. Almost immediately after meeting me, she met my friends and she was accepted. This all happened before her moronic husband entered the picture. The second or third day we hung out, we were flirting with each other. I knew she liked me and I'm pretty sure she knew that I liked her. I remember everybody was to leave the BCC Campus due to a big snow storm heading our way. I had to take the bus. Bridgette and Denna had to take the bus as well. I really didn't like Bridgette back then and I guess my facial expressions showed it. Denna noticed and playfully poked my side. That started a poking/tickling war. Later, she called me and said she did that to distract me. She could tell that Bridgette was getting on my nerves, so she distracted me. That's when I realized that there was some kind of attraction there. I don't know what it is about her. I can remember every moment and every word we've shared. Not only that, but I remember the scent of her perfume (cologne actually), the way she looked at me, the way she'd gently brush her hand on my cheek. There's an old saying. You don't know what you have until it's gone. That was the case with Ashley. With Denna, I knew exactly what I had. I had learned the first time with Ashley. So, when I was walking, I was thinking about everything. One thing that I've learned is that in some cases, there's no such thing as "too late." Hell, there is no tomorrow. So, I'm going to tell Denna everything. I'm gonna prove to her that I'm better than her worthless husband. Also, I'm gonna prove to her that I'm the path to her being happy, because I don't think she's happy, right now. She seemed happier, here in Binghamton. Where all her friends and family are. Where I am. I think she'd be happier with me, because last year, she was happy with me. She did ask me to keep in touch with Cory, which I had already planned on doing. That was her way of asking me to look after him. That's no problem. My mission is to get things back to the way they were. I'm gonna make things go back to the way they should be. I know talk is cheap and actions speak louder than words. It's about time I took action.

My First Week at Cortland.

I arrived at Cortland on Thursday afternoon. It wasn't too bad. My orientation went pretty fast. I had the room to myself for a couple days. There were only a few meetings that I had to go to, but for the most part, I had a lot of free time on my hands. Sunday, my roommate arrived. He's a nice guy. He plays football on the weekends. So far, my experience at Cortland has been a hell of a lot better than my summer at Hancock. Hell, it's been a hell of a lot better than my time at BCC. Speaking of which, only Chris and Dan are representin' over there. I met a few people over here. There's this Australian girl named Jess. I haven't gotten to know her real well yet, but it's still early. The professors are really easy going over here. Hell, the entire college is. BCC only cared about money. If you couldn't pay up, then it sucked to be you. Cortland's better than that. This weekend's labor day weekend. I'm not going home this weekend, but I will be in the Binghamton area next weekend. Next week, I'm gonna check out the college's clubs and stuff. Also, I'll apply for a job on the campus. The only downside so far is that I'm still poor as hell. I wanna change that...FAST! My dad gave me SOME money, but it's slowly starting to run out. I would've had more if I realized my meal plan was activated two days before my roommate arrived. Even though my dad said to call him when I was running low, I don't wanna have to make that phone call until at least October. My birthday's coming up in a few weeks, so I'll be asking for money around that time. Overall, things have been good. A lot better than the past couple weeks. Actually, ever since I left Hancock, I've felt really good. Maybe it's because I'm around people that I'm comfortable around. So far, the people at Cortland are alright. Then again, they don't know too much about me. The important thing is my roommate doesn't have a problem with my beliefs or interests. That's the main thing, because I'm stuck in a room with him for a year. I have been keeping up with my friends in Binghamton. They're doing alright for the most part. I don't feel as isolated as I did when I was in Hancock. Maybe it's because there's actually things to do around here. I haven't gotten hammered in Cortland yet, but it's still early. I'll probably get hammered next Saturday when I'm in the area.

Mania and Random Words

I stayed home for most of the weekend. It's been a long time since I stayed home on a Friday night. I survived it alright. Wrestlemania 24 is still about 4-5 weeks away. I may not be as big of a fan that I was in High School, but Wrestlemania's different. No matter how big a fan you are, you wait all year for it. Especially, with my favorite superstar going for the World Heavyweight Championship. Undertaker is 15-0 at Wrestlemania. No one's even come close to touching that record. His opponent, Edge is 5-1, but that's only because he didn't win an 8 man ladder match last year. John Cena's 4-0, but he's still got a long way to go to even tie The Undertaker. Edge robbed The Undertaker in May of last year. Undertaker had to get surgery done on his arm, but he returned at Unforgiven a day before my birthday. He's chased the Championship since then, but he's come up short. I know that he'll get it back at Wrestlemania. That's his event. No one's gonna deny him at HIS event. He did it last year. When you've watched this stuff for as long as I have, you get an idea of what the backstage politics are. They've been pushing Batista for about 3 years. He's been beating everybody. There were rumors that they were gonna let him end The Undertaker's undefeated streak at Wrestlemania. Most of the time, the rumors happen to be true. So, even I thought that Undertaker was gonna fall. I didn't want him to, but it wasn't up to me. Luckily, they smartened up and let Undertaker win the belt. Edge is good, but there's no way in hell he's beating Undertaker. Anyways, while I was on break, I've been getting pumped for Wrestlemania. I have all 23 of them and I watched 1-6 over the break. Only 17 left to go. I would've gotten all the way to 10, but I went to an independent wrestling show on Saturday called 2CW. That was a blast. My friend, Kyle came home for it and I brought my idiot friend, Henry and my boy Edaniel with us. I got us reserved front row seats and that made things even better. It was fun screaming at the bad guys and getting a reaction out of some. They all wanna go back when they come in June. I already reserved 4 front row seats this morning. Damn, the prices keep going up. Last time it was $17.00, but this time, they asked for $18. Edaniel and Henry are paying me $10 each this Friday. Henry owes me for when I let him borrow money two weeks ago. Edaniel just wants to pay me early. When I get paid in the beginning of April, I'll send out a money order for the tickets. When I first started going to the 2CW events, I went with Kyle. It was so much fun, him and I went again. Henry went with me to the last one and all four of us went to the one last Saturday. I'm trying to get Seth to go to one, but he's so damn simple-minded. If Shawn Michaels isn't involved or anybody that's wrestled for a long time, he's not interested. Man, that kid needs to grow up. I've been saying that for months and I'm well aware that I still have a few things that I need to do before I can go any further. Back in 2006, him and Henry kept using the word "legend" and "legendary". "He's a legend", "this event is legendary", basically saying crap like that. After a while, I started getting sick of it. Their mentallity was if someone was around for a long time, they were a legend. They were acting extremely immature and they had no clue what a legend really was. At one point, I screamed at Henry to stop using the freakin' word, because he was discrediting it. The word "legend" was starting to lose it's meaning with me and the people who had to be around Seth and Henry for long periods of time. Like Seth's parents and they were getting sick of it too. Henry started to talk trash to me, so I told him that I'd knock his ass out the next time I saw him. The only reason that didn't go down was due to a few reasons. The first and most important was Seth's and Henry's grandmother. She wouldn't want me to do that. I have a lot of respect for her. The second reason was that Henry was scared of me and apologized. Third reason was that it was his graduation day. So, although he really deserved it, I let it slide. Besides, I figured that he'd say something to set me off in the future and it wouldn't be his graduation day, so I'd be able to beat the hell out of him. I was right, but he kept on ducking, so I never connected. Rest assure that one of these days, he'll catch me on a bad day and I'll make him swallow his teeth. The good news is that they've both stopped abusing the word. Still, even if I see Hulk Hogan at a WWE show, it's hard to call him a legend, because those two idiots abused the word so much. I abuse two words on an everyday basis. I'll string on "bro" or "champ" on the end of my sentences if I'm referring to one of my friends. Of course Henry now refers to ME as "champ". I've asked him not to call me that (although, out of the three of us, I definitely fit the role), but as always, he won't stop. I've stopped using that word around him. In fact, I haven't abused that word nearly as much. With girls, I usually refer to them as "sweetheart" or "beautiful". That's new, though. Before, it was either "babe" or "girl". So, I'm also guilty of abusing words. The difference is that I do it when it's appropriate. If someone's not a "champ" I don't call them that. If a girl's not good looking, I don't call her "beautiful". I use those words if it's necessary. I don't go around calling trees "legend". I'm not kidding, these idiots would call anything and everything "legend". After a few hours of hearing the same word over and over again, it gets extremely annoying. Long story short, they're still annoying, but they're giving the word a well deserved rest.

Who I Am

Reputations can make or break a person. They're very hard to get rid of and even harder to create a new one. Back in high school, I was this geek who was obsessed with WWE. No one really took me seriously in high school. Why should they? Hell, I wouldn't have taken me seriously if I was them. That was my rep in high school. I was the WWE dork. I've gotten better about that over the years despite the fact that I'm wearing a DX T-shirt that I bought in 2006. I admit that in high school, WWE was my life. That's not the case anymore. I could care less about what happens in the WWE today (unless Undertaker wins the World Heavyweight Championship). When I started my first semester in college, I was a whining, emo, bitch most of the time. That wasn't right either. My second semester, I was a little better, but I was becoming angry frequently. My third semester, I drove away a really good friend of mine. I'd follow her everywhere, call her way too often, I was a creepy little bastard. I'm not proud of any of this. I've apologized several times and it was accepted. However, something still doesn't seem right. I never really confronted the issue, but I can't run from it anymore. I started to evolve into the person that I wanted to be around my fourth semester at college. I got rid of my old rep and developed a new one. I became more understanding, I've earned respect, trust, and admiration from my friends. I stopped being so damn self-centered and started taking an interest in my friend's lives. I've always been there for my friends. I try to make everyone happy. Sometimes, it doesn't always work like that and I have to make a choice. I'm not perfect in any way, but there's no harm in trying. Some of my friends have told me straight-up that I'm the best. At first, I didn't believe them. After a while, I started to believe them. I'll go to war with anyone as long as they're worth it. I only hold grudges if you hurt the people that I care about. I'm not malicious, angry, or violent. I am egotistical, I will admit that one. However, I put my friends first. Who am I now? I'm the best friend anyone could have. Unless you do attack my friends, then I'm your worst enemy. Before, everything had to be about me. That wasn't right. Back in high school, I said that I'm not gonna change for anybody. The truth is that I didn't change for anybody...I changed for me. It's paid off for the most part. I feel a lot better now, than I did back then. I'm all about honor, loyalty, and respect. The problem is that those who knew me before, haven't noticed that I've changed. They have their guards up. I know that it'll take time to regain the trust that they've had in me, but someday, I'll get that trust back. The trust that people put in me, means more to me than anything. Things change, people change. There are a million other people that came from worse backgrounds than mine. They've turned themselves around. They didn't do it alone and neither did I. They had good friends who stood by them. I did too. I can't thank them enough. Even the ones who've done me wrong have helped me in their own way. It's because of my friends that I became who I am today. Someday, I'll return the favor. I'll end this with a quote from the "Shadow the Hedgehog" video game. "THIS IS WHO I AM!"

Back in the Day

The rest of my break has been boring so far. Stacey's car acted up when she was supposed to hang with me, so she never made it. Hopefully, I can get her up here sometime next week. She called me earlier this week to give me a heads up about my ex-girlfriend. Her soon-to-be ex-husband's very controlling and has to know where she is every minute of every day. For some reason, he thinks that she comes up here to hang out with me. We were planning on hanging out sometime, but never got around to it. He's a bit paranoid, but I can assure him that his ex-wife is that last person on this planet that I wanna get back with. I really have no interest in getting back with any of my ex-girlfriends. I can do a lot better than them. Yesterday, I needed to get the money that my grandmother had for me and the only way to do that was to spend the day over there and watch the girls basketball game at my old high school. Even though I was out of the house, I was still bored as hell. I graduated four years ago and there aren't too many people aside from the faculty that remember me. The JV game was extremely boring. Luckily, my friend James Inman came to watch an ex-girlfriend of his play on the Varsity team. So, we reminisced about the days when we were in high school. I was a year above him. Both of us were on the wrestling team. He was on the team during my senior year. Our biggest claim to fame is that we both won our first and only match at the same tournament. It was his first year, so he had a decent excuse. I just plain sucked, but it was so much fun that I kept signing back up. During the Varsity game, we realized that a lot of things have changed. The biggest change that I noticed was the maturity factor. The kids that still went to high school were sitting behind us. They were cocky, arrogant, little bastards. When I said this to James, he said that we were like that when we were their age. We both laughed, but in the back of mind, his response kept playing over and over again. I don't think him and I were really that bad. I know he wasn't. He doesn't talk much unless he knows you. I always showed the faculty and the people around me respect unless they did something to not deserve it. I was definitely a dork in high school, but I wasn't cocky or arrogant. I had no room for that. I wasn't THE most popular kid in school, I wasn't good in sports, I didn't wear what was in style. I got along fine with everyone, but I was never part of the popular crowd. Close to it, but never got there. Anyway, James said that he felt old just by being there. I'm 2 years older than him, so I definitely felt old. We laughed at this, but it was true. When more teachers remember you than students, it's hard to argue with this logic. Tomorrow, I'm hanging with Cody, his roommates, Seth, and Henry. I'll feel a tad bit more comfortable and when I'm with Seth and Henry, I'll definitely feel more mature. I'll make up for my maturity, but getting obliviated over the weekend.

A New Year has Arrived.

It's been awhile. The Holiday season is finally over. Since College ended, I've been hanging out with my friends. Surprisingly, most of my friends that have been in relationships, have broke up. I haven't really been drinking as much as I did when I was in college. On Christmas eve, I only had one beer. On New Year's Eve, I was distracted by people calling me, so there was a few half hour gaps. Also, Seth turned 21 at midnight. We attempted to go to bed at 3:00 in the morning, but we didn't drift off until 6:00 in the morning. These two couples were arguing very loudly and slamming doors. Eventually, I came out to attempt to calm down the couple, so we could sleep. However, my attempts were in vain. The next day went fine, though. We went to the mall and Wal-Mart. Then, we came home and went to sleep. We were tired from the night before. Today, was just an ordinary day. I amused myself by pissing off Seth's cousin on the phone. It's funny how pathetic he really is. Tomorrow, I gotta take out a loan for college and then I'm hanging out with Felicia for a little bit. Felicia's a friend of mine from college and she happens to be a red-head. I love red-heads, because they're energetic and extremely affectionate. They're also very beautiful too. I have no clue what I'm doing over the weekend. I still have two more weeks after this week before I go back to college. Before I forget, I have very good news. MATT HUGHES TAPPED OUT TO GEORGE ST. PIERRE AT UFC 79! When Matt Serra gets better, him and George St. Pierre will battle to see who is the Undisputed Welterweight Championship. No matter who wins, I'll be happy. Matt Hughes got what he deserved and he's out of the title picture. I plan hanging out with the rest of my friends during the weeks that I'm off. I haven't seen my friend, Stacey in a long time. I even plan on hanging out with my ex-girlfriend at some point. Maybe I'll hang out with both of them if I get bored enough. I have a good feeling that 2008 will be my year. I don't know why I have this good feeling, but I think this will be a great year. I have plans in a couple weeks. In the middle of February, 2CW comes back to Binghamton. There are some nice, attractive girls that are single now, I'm starting to get to the point where I want to be, and a tyrant will be out of office in 11 months. This year has the potential to be a great year. I'm looking forward to it.