Familiar Situation

There's been so much going on, lately. April hasn't exactly been that great of a month. I did get to see WrestleMania, this year. I had to wait until Tuesday, but I saw it. Undertaker had another badass match with Triple H in a Hell in a Cell match and his record now stands 20-0. I was disappointed that John Cena didn't beat The Rock. Cena deserved the victory more than The Rock did. Cena's made movies (they sucked) but at least he never left the WWE to pursue an acting career. My main issue with The Rock is simply that he said the WWE was his home. He said he'd never leave the WWE. Then after WrestleMania 17, he leaves for a few months to be in The Mummy Returns. But, he came back. Then, after WrestleMania 18, he left to do a full length movie The Scorpion King, but he came back again. Then, he left again... and again... and again. Then, he just left... and never really came back. Before John Cena, they booed him whether he was good or bad. I was actually surprised that the fans didn't pull behind Cena in that match. Seemed to be 90% Rock, 10% Cena. I was part of the 10%. Then, Brock Lesnar returns the next night. He suffers 3 losses in the UFC and quits. I just shook my head. Then again, the fans didn't really like him much anyways and vica versa. Here's the funny part though. I respect Brock a hell of a lot more than I do The Rock. Brock never said that the WWE was his home and he'd never leave. After going to the last ECPW show, I noticed that one of my favorite wrestlers is using a WWE replica title for his Championship. I found out that there's no intentions of making a legit title for him anytime soon. So, I talked it over with my friends and we decided to change that. I made him a custom made belt that I had planned on presenting him on May 4th. Their next show. However, the belt is still not here and there's no sign of it coming here anytime, next week. The only plus side to this is that we can present it to him in his hometown of Sidney, NY. Now onto the main focus. Thanks to a co-worker, I met this girl. She happens to be his sister-in-law. This is the story that he told me. She was at his place and just randomly asks if he knows any single guys. He immediately thought of me. At first, I was hesitant. I know her ex-husband. He returned to Willow Run the day that I first started. I heard the story about what happened. The problem is that I only heard one side of it. Reluctantly, I agreed to meet her. There was no way of preparing for what happened. I took a liking to her. We went for a walk to one of her favorite spots in PA. It was a fun night. I returned to PA the next Friday. I brought her flowers, thinking that'd help my chances. It sort of did, but she said that she wasn't what I was looking for. Normally, I probably would've just moved on, but there was one problem. I couldn't get her off my mind. I was a miserable prick for the next week. It was so bad, I damn-near got involved in the Indy Pro Wrestling business. One of them offered to bring me to a show in Watertown instead. So, I took that offer. That was a badass show. That helped me get through the next week. Then, her and I started talking on a social network. Last Sunday, her son had a cut near his eye and had no way of getting him to a Dr. I asked if she wanted me to come and get them. She said yes, so I went and got them. Her car's out of commission and she needed a ride to classes in order for her to get her GED. I offered to take her. I've been doing that all week. Her kids, nieces, and nephews have all taken a liking to me. She look's at me the same way Denna did. We're also doing the same things that Denna and I used to do. This whole situation seems very familiar. My history with Denna has been documented. Half of 2008's entries are about Denna. Luckily I got over her real quick. It's been a long time since any girl's been on my mind as much as this one. The last girl that was on my mind like this was Denna. She always rushing me out the door when her ex-husband's on his way to visit the kids. She says it's so there's no issues between him and me. A couple red flags have already been raised. I don't want to go through another situation like the one I did with Denna. But, I also don't want this feeling to go away. It's the same feeling I had when I was with Denna. In fact, I forgot what that feeling was until this week. I feel like I've been here before. I'm not sure what my next move should be. All I know is I'm still being me. I'm being straight-up with her. Where it goes from here, I'll have to wait and find out.

A Special Someone.

I'm always surprised with how much difference a year can make. One of my greatest flaws is that I dwell on the past way too much. I can't get over how much has changed over the years. Then again, some things have stayed the same. One of my old co-workers from the shop disappeared for a few months. I thougth he was gone for good. Then, out of the blue when I needed someone to be my designated driver, he texted me. He agreed to be my designated driver and met us in Binghamton. I don't know why Binghamton celebrates St. Patrick's Day so early, but whatever. It was Kelcie, myself, and Nic who was the DD. Nic's hung out with Kelcie and me before. He knows (as does everyone else) how I feel about Kelcie. I think the guy's legitimately concerned about me. I think he's afraid that she'll push me off the edge. I honestly don't know what it is about, her, but she has me under some kind of spell. It's not the first time. There have been other girls that have had me under their spell. But I've broken free. With Kelcie, it's a lot harder. I know she and I will never be together, but I still cling on to that little bit of hope that's not there. Deep down, I think Kelcie does truly care about me. Her and I have a lot in common. We're both only children, we both love getting attention, and we're used to getting our way. Her and I have been through a lot. Both together and on our own. Her and I have had our disagreements. I don't know why, but no matter how bad it looks, she'll call me up after she's cooled down. There have been close friends that she's cut out of her life. She usually doesn't give second chances let alone several like I've been given. I just don't understand it. All my friends and even some of my family says that all she does is use me, but the problem with that theory is... she doesn't ask me for anything. Other than to pick her up. She doesn't ask me to pay for dinner, give her a massage, buy her things she wants. That's on me, not her. I'd do it for any girl that's with me. Hell, when I'd hang out with Denna, I'd pay for lunch or whatever it was. It's just that I'm usually always hanging out with Kelcie, so she reaps the benefits. Nic's trying to fix me up with one of his friends. I'm all for it, because at the end of the day, he's right. I'm not gonna find anyone by always hanging out with Kelcie. I love Kelcie and I'm glad we're friends, but I can't wait forever. I gotta take care of me. Of course, as I say that, I'm trying to convince myself of that more than anybody else. Kelcie and I will always be friends, but I'm wondering if she can cope with not having my full attention when I finally do find someone. I'll still hang out with her, but we won't be alone. And I won't be able to cover the bill. I just hope she'll be mature enough to handle that. If not, then bye bye, blackbird.

A Difference A Year Can Make.

I know it's been a long time, since I updated this thing. I've been too busy to sit down and write up an update of everything that's going on. I can't believe I didn't mention it last year, but Kelcie ended up getting pregnant with Jon's baby. She had a baby girl. Jon hasn't changed at all. In fact, he's getting worse. She's had him arrested several times. The funny part is that he's trying to get custody of their daughter. He doesn't stand a chance. I finally made it out of the shop. I work in Kirkwood now at Willow Run Foods. At first, I was working a 2nd shift position. Mike Sisson told me about it, I filled out an application, had a job interview, and next thing I know, I have a new job. Well, 2nd shift didn't work out too well. So, they put me on a 3rd shift position. For the most part, I hate it. My co-workers don't really show me respect, the hours suck, and the job itself isn't any better. I'm a freakin' warehouse cleaner. Worst part is that my area is the freezer. A negative ten degrees. What's keeping me there is the fact that the benefits are amazing. Not to mention they have a 401K program and unlike the shop, this place actually shows their appreciation for their employees. I still go to a lot of indy wrestling shows. Keith Zimmer and some of the ECPW wrestlers broke away from Gino and tried to do their own thing. At first, everything was going good. Then, the promoter fired Keith and started went on a huge power trip. Keith went back to work for Gino and so far,they're crushing their competition. Over the past couple years, I got to know most of these guys personally. When I started going to these shows, I didn't think that I'd get a backstage pass into these guys' lives. I'm not complaining. Quite the opposite actually. I love the guys. Usually, it's very rare for a fan to be seen hanging out with pro wrestlers OUTSIDE of the ring. In my case, I'm an exception. Hell, they invite me to chill with them nine times out of ten. I occassionally go to Candor. Since Seth no longer lives there, it makes it a little bit easier to go there. It still acts like a haven for when things get intense. I went there the weekend before Halloween. Friday, it was drinking with Aaron and Marcy. It's been a while, since I've gotten hammered. Ever since I got my license, I don't drink as much as I used to, mainly because I have to drive home. Danny lives in Johnson City with his new girlfriend, so I can't really crash there. I could go to Mike's, but him and I work odd hours and our days off differ, so that's out. Candor/Owego's the only place I can really drink and have a place to stay. I usually end up being a designated driver for Kelcie. It's hard to believe that her and I have been friends for three years already. Again, that's another thing I didn't expect to happen. I didn't think that I'd become close with Kelcie when I first met her. Then again, I was all about Denna when I met her. I thought Denna was gonna be my girlfriend. Kelcie warned me about the games she plays, but it was too late. A year later, all that stuff went down between Kelcie and Marshal. That poor girl hasn't had it easy. The past couple years have been rough for her. People have either tried to kick her when she's down or they've stabbed her in the back. Everyone but me. Even when her and I weren't on the best of terms earlier this year, I didn't say a bad word about her. I just "washed my hands" or everything. I should've known that wouldn't last. A month went by and she ended up calling me. Not only was everything forgiven and forgotten, but things have been better than they ever were. As far as work goes, I'm starting to slowly earn the respect of my co-workers. At the shop, I pretty-much had it, but that was due to the fact that my dad worked there as well. Also, the shop had guys in their 30's and 50's working there. They were grown ass men. Most of the guys that work at Willow Run are in their early and mid 20's. The maturity level plays a huge factor. I'll be the first to admit I'm not the most mature person for being 26. But, I know when to back off. The boss is a bigger bully than Doug Gardner. Then again, Doug knew me, so he didn't really bully me. Things are better than 2009 and part of 2010, but there's always room for improvement. I'm looking for another shift at Willow. I plan on sticking around, but if things get worse, something's gotta give. Either I leave Willow Run and go somewhere else or I find a better fit in Willow Run.

Hell on Earth

In the beginning of May, one of my bosses wanted to get rid of me. His claim was that my work ethnic wasn't up to par. The real reason: he doesn't like my dad and the feeling's mutual. However, three people stuck up for me, so I could still have a job. My supervisor, the salesman, and Doug Gardner. Oh yeah, dad exploding on them, probably had something to do with it too. Just like the other months, this one wasn't any different. I hung out with Kelcie a few times, but it just feels like things aren't like they were. Jon's back in the picture and I'm none too happy about that. I'm just waiting for him to scew up again. Last Wednesday, I went over to Kelcie's to hang out. Well, he was there in the kitchen. I glared at him and went into the living room. I wanted to beat the holy hell out of him for what he did to Kelcie earlier, this year. Unfortunately, if I harm him, I jeopardize my friendship with Kelcie. I got in a huge argument with Robin about it. Things have cooled down with us a little, but there's still that tension whenever we talk now. Robin's another one that's driving me nuts. She's been acting ridiculous all year. She has cancer, but doesn't wanna have it treated. She claims she's being forced to get the surgery. "I'll never find love. I'll never find happiness," she's been whining for about a month and a half now. During the argument, I finally snapped and said, "well, with that attitude, you're never gonna find it. You're not doing a damn thing to find it." She flipped out, I flipped out back. It also doesn't help that she's not a big fan of Kelcie's. She was at first, but ever since Kelcie turned me down when I asked her out, Robin's been pretty cold towards her. I'm handling the situation like this: if they call me, I'll answer and talk to them. But, I'm through calling both of them. Kelcie and I will make plans for a certain day, then I'll call her only to find out she's busy or in the middle of something. Basically, translating to "I'm arguing with Jon, can't talk right now." So, I'm not calling her anymore. She'll call me if she needs me. Also, Danny's not doing that good either. Jay accused him of cheating on her with Robin. Um...HELL NO! Those two would clash if they ever got in a relationship. As friends, they're fine. But, if they tried to take it any further, it would end in disaster. Things were so bad on Thursday, I drove to Unadilla to Mike's place. Something stands out in my mind from last Thursday. When I got to Mike's, he was standing outside his door. Almost like he was expecting me to show up. When I got out of my car, he grinned and said, "holy shit, look who it is!" I walked over to him, not returning the smile. "I'm not happy," I said weakly. He asked what was up and I told him about my argument with Robin and the stuff going on with Kelcie. Mike calmed me down and I ended up spending a lot of my weekend over there. Danny's son's birthday was Saturday. Robin and I were still rocky, so I kept my distance. I got Danny's kid an Undertaker action figure. Until he got the bike from his grandparents, it was his favorite gift. He didn't let go of it UNTIL the bike came. I'm trying to get a new job, but with Colleges letting out, all those kids are gonna be snagging them. It's been a bit rough. I have Kelcie telling me one minute that she wants to get an apartment with me, then the next minute, she changes her mind. Now, she wants to get an apartment with me again, BUT she wants me to wait until she gets a job. I have no objection to living with her, but I can't wait forever. The rest of the month has consisted of me going to graduation, birthday, or welcome home from the air force parties. Sometimes, I've gone to two parties on the same day. This season of the Ultimate Fighter is boring. Now, Tito Ortiz is hurt and won't be able to face Chuck Lidell at the end of the season. Everything seems to be going to hell. It's all one big rollercoaster ride. Everything's going at break-neck speed up, down, forwards, backwards, twists, turns, spiraling, it never ends. I should be used to it by now. Right now, my game plan is to avoid everything that's bugging me and focus on becoming better than I am. I'm also looking for a good time while I'm at it. Hell, a party doesn't sound too bad right now. The parties at Danny's were epic back in the day. Those days are gone though. But, a couple years ago, those were some of the best times of my life. Everything was going great. Then, it just all went to hell. All good things come to an end. I know I say this at the end of every entry, but I hope that next month is better than this month. Somehow, I doubt it.

Could Be Better

April wasn't exactly the greatest month. Towards the end of March, Undertaker retired Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania 26. Things at Akraturn are the same as ever. I took Kelcie out on a date. This one differed from the others that I've taken her on. For one thing, I drove and picked her up like I should've done on the others. I paid for everything like I always have just like the others. The big difference is that I asked her out. Unfortunately, there were a lot of things out of my control. Kelcie and I aren't ever gonna date. That's unfortunate, because I know that no one could ever treat her as good as I can. I hung out with her on Thursday. Also, Cody Marshal called me, last week. Him and I had words about Kelcie. He wanted to get back with her and I wasn't allowing it. He's going to leave her alone. I've been spending a lot of time with Robin. She's driving me insane. Her biggest complaint is that she's all alone. There's no boyfriend in her life, no one to love her, and she wants both of those right now. Because I care about Kelcie the way that I do, she won't date me, which is both good and bad for me. Still, she wants to just give up on everything. That's not the way things to go about things. I've been single for years. I've been led on three times. Yet, I keep searching. I'm not giving up. Kelcie was as close as I've gotten so far. It's a shame that nothing further's gonna happen between us. We're still best friends though. It won't be like what happened with me and Ashley. Danny's birthday party was last week. That's part of why I had to deal with Marshal. He was there. I had to act civil, because it was Danny's birthday party. On the plus side, Sam was there. I had to pick her up, but she was there. She's a lot of fun. I wish she were around more often. Danny's birthday party was alright, but his last two were better. Things were a lot better a couple years ago. Hell, things were better TEN years ago. Growing up in the 90's wasn't really that bad at all. Danny, Robin, and I reminisced about all the things we missed from the 90's. TV shows, video games, movies, styles, places we used to go, I'd go back and do it all over again. Things aren't 100% bad here. Hell, I'm having more fun now, than I did in the past four years. I still have goals that I want to reach. Now that this Kelcie thing isn't going any further, I'm gonna get out there and look for that certain person that's out there for me. I'll still hang out with Kelcie, but that's all I'm going to do. When I went to an ECPW show last Saturday, there was this 32 year old woman that used to go to the shows. She was at this one. She's married to one of the wrestlers, but that's not gonna last. That's what she told me. I think she was a little interested in me until she found out I was 24 years old. Still, she's freakin' hot. She'd come over to where I was sitting a few times to scream at the bad guys with me. My friends and I bought her husband's shirt that she designed. When he came out, we were full-fledged "Suicide" fans. This weekend, 2CW's coming to Binghamton again. My boys and I are going, but I still like ECPW better. Keith's now playing a bad guy role. He's loving it. Not to mention he's damn good at it. I've debated about getting into the wrestling business, but I'm still on the ropes about it. I'd rather be a writer. I should really focus more on that. Maybe next week, I'll get back to what I started to write a few months ago. Hopefully, May will be better than April. Lastly, UFC started back up. Chuck Lidell and Tito Ortiz are the coaches. So far, Team Lidell's ahead 4-1. There's still plenty of time though. I'm sure Tito will come back. When they fight after the show is over, I'm not sure who I'm gonna be rooting for. I like them both. Best of luck to both of them.

Remembering Walt Gardner

On the 14th of March, Walt passed away. I was hanging out with Danny when dad called me. The calling hours were last Friday and the funeral was on Saturday. One of Walt's grandchildren approached me at the calling hours. Her name's Vanessa, but I forget what her last name is now. She hugged me and asked softly, "How's your dad holding up?" I told her that he wasn't doing good. Walt was like a second father to my dad. Dad was so close to Walt, that at the calling hours, he was part of the line that greeted the mourners as they walked in to pay their final respects. At the funeral, they saved a seat up front for my dad. After the funeral, Shirley handed my dad the box that contained Walt's ashes. We believe she handed them to dad, because he was the only one she trusted with them. When the flag was raised back at Akraturn, dad was part of that as well. Shirley said that my dad was like her adopted son and I'm sure she knew how bad he felt that Walt was gone. I'm going to miss Walt too. He did a lot for our family. He made it to my graduation party when I graduated high school. He gave me a job one summer when I was saving up to pay for another semester at college. He did a lot of things that most bosses wouldn't do for their employees. Then again, Walt didn't see us as employees. He saw us like family. At the after-party, Vanessa went over to my dad and said, "thanks for the shrimp, Uncle John." I was a little taken back. Even Walt's grandchildren thought of us like family. Pam, Vanessa's mom, came over to visit at our table. I asked her something and she said, "you'll have to ask your Uncle Doug that one." Yeah... uh... I like Pam and David, but Doug... he's just my boss. Me calling him an Uncle would be pushing it for me. His sons are alright, but Doug... he can be a prick. I do feel sorry for him, though. It can't be easy losing your father. I know that I don't know what I'm going to do when that time comes. I felt really bad for Vanessa and Chris. I know how hard it is to lose a grandfather. That was the worst week of my life. I feel bad for the entire Gardner family. I hope their pain will eventually fade from this tragedy.

Not Getting Any Better

February wasn't really a great month. So far, March has been brutal. My favorite boss is dying. The last time I saw him, was in December. We met him at the Elk's Club for a few drinks. Walt Gardner's a great man. He's helped get us out of a few tough situations. When I needed a job in the summer, he gave me one at the machine shop. My dad's taking it extremely hard, which I knew would happen. What happened, was Walt and his wife Shirley went on vacation to Daytona, Florida. They go every year. Well, when they got there, Walt showed signs of having congestive heart failure, which is what my grandfather had and eventually took his life. He had an operation, but it didn't help as much as everyone thought it would. Then, he started to get progressively worse. We found out last week, that he has cancer. First, it was in his neck. However, last Friday we found out that it's brain cancer. I wish I could thank him for everything that he's done for us, but I know my dad won't want me to see him in the state that he's in. The only thing I can do, is pray that he doesn't suffer too much. Also, I found out over the weekend, that Kelcie's boyfriend tried to strangle her to death. Now, he's not known to show forces of violence, but Kelcie wouldn't lie or exaggerate about this. Also, I saw the marks. No one knows why he acted the way he did. He claims to not remember anything and since they had been drinking the night it happened, it could be true. Regardless of that, Kelcie has an order of protection against him and he's looking at some jailtime. I heard he's trying to committ suicide. Normally, I'd try to stop someone doing that, but after hearing the story Kelcie told me, I won't lose too much sleep if he succeeds. I'm probably gonna sound like one of those people that claims "I never really cared for this person that much," but truth be told... Jon could urk me at times. I remember when some of my friends that know Kelcie would ask me what her "new" boyfriend was like. I'd reply, "he's an alright guy, but he's not me." What that pretty-much means, is that I never really cared much for ANY of Kelcie's boyfriends. I was able to tolerate Cody until he turned into a manipulative, egotistical, spineless, cocksucker. After Cody, I really didn't care the others. Most of them I never did meet, but they didn't last long anyways. Even though Mike Sisson's my boy, I was real uneasy about him trying to get with Kelcie, because I know how he gets if a girl starts to iritate him. I wasn't about to let that happen to Kelcie. The paramedic was a douchebag. Never got to meet him... didn't really wanna meet him. This Tom guy that she brought to my birthday party was just a pretty-boy. Other than that, he had nothing. Kelcie and I have grown real close in the year and a half that we've known each other. I don't know how she'd feel if I had a girlfriend. I'm almost curious to see what her reaction would be like. Would it be one of jealousy, would she be happy for me, or would she have mixed feelings? This past weekend, Kelcie called me to see if I wanted to drive up to Cortland. I said sure, so I picked her up at her friend's place (got lost getting there), took her home to get directions and her things, then we got lost again on the way up there, but we eventually made it. We stayed in Julie's little college apartment. On the way home, Kelcie was a bit buzzed from the beer she was drinking before we left. I was driving, so I was sober. She saw this picture that Denna put up of me and Bridgette from New Year's Eve. Kelcie was a bit upset by the picture, so she was explaining how she felt. She kept saying, "I care about you, Jack. Denna and Bridgette don't care about you, but I do," and she said if I started hanging out with Bridgette, she'd have no choice but to cut me out of her life. She said that it would hurt her to do it and she didn't want to, but she would if she had to. I assured her that there was no way I would ever hang out with Bridgette. Kelcie's my number one girl. I'll choose her first over anybody. I know I've said this before, but Kelcie should've been the one that I went after back in 2008. I bet anything that if her and I were to have dated in 2008, things would be different for both of us. I'd probably have graduated from BCC and I'd probably be doing well in Cortland. She'd probably be with me in Cortland. Both of us would be happy. But, I went down a harder path. Poor Kelcie hasn't really done anything to anybody, but all of these people have gone out of their way to make her life miserable. I don't agree with that. After seeing what this girl has gone through in this year and a half that I've known her, I only have one thing to say. For the next person that tries to make life difficult for her, they're gonna have to go through me. That goes for anybody and everybody. If you mess with her, you mess with me. If you mess with me, you mess with an army of people that have my back at all times. So, the next person that targets her, will have to get past me and that ain't happening.