Hanging Out

Before I forget, Matt Serra fell short in his fight with Matt Hughes, last week. However, it was a pretty damn good fight and Matt Hughes finally gave Matt Serra the respect he deserved. Well, thanks to Kelcie, the rest of the night turned out alright. That was last week, though. On the Ultimate Fighter this week, everyone was acting like little kids. Dan Henderson discussed with Mike Bisping about changing the times they had their training sessions. Mike didn't like that idea. Well, that Damarques asshole can't keep his mouth shut. There were some exchanging of words between him and Bisping. Then, it was time for the final preliminary fight announcement. As Bisping is passing Damarques, he sprays him in the face with a water bottle. Damarques got all pissed. Wow, what a freakin' baby that guy is. Well, Dan Henderson started acting like Bisping's dad. "You wouldn't like it if someone sprayed you in the face with a water bottle," he told him. Henderson, do yourself a favor...SHUT THE HELL UP! Well, Bisping attempted to apologize. I give him props for that, but I still think Damarques deserved it. Team USA evened things up for the quarter-finals. The guy from Team UK didn't wanna go to sudden victory and I think that was a stupid decision. Bisping wasn't too pleased with it at all. Bisping won the entire thing all the way back in season 3. During the week, I tried to arrange it so that Denna and I could hang out. She suggested that her, Kelcie and I hang out on Friday. I was all for that. Well, it turned out to be just me and Kelcie on Friday. Again, I didn't get to sleep until 5:30 in the morning. Ever since that week I took her out on that date, she's been getting a little bit closer each time. Saturday, I helped Danny out with his son's birthday party. His girlfriend, Jay's freakin' worthless. She was supposed to plan and organize everything, but she didn't do a damn thing. Danny and I did everything. Needless to say, there were a lot of people not pleased with her. Overall, the party wasn't too bad. For some reason, I was relaxed. It could've been due to both Danny and Kelcie stepping on my back the night before. It also could've been from hanging out with Danny and Kelcie for the past few months. Today, Kelcie called me. She said that she wants the two of us to get jobs and an apartment in Binghamton. She's so comfortable around me, that she wants to live with me. I've been looking for job for a couple of weeks now, but I'm putting in much more effort, this time. I know that there's gonna be some pros and cons about moving in with a good friend, but I think we can make it work. I've wanted to move out ever since being at Cortland. I've gotten used to be independent. Hopefully, we'll be out of our homes before the year is out.

Memorial Day Weekend

Sleep was an option, this weekend. I never get enough of it. However, I usually get a decent amount. Well, that wasn't the case for a good portion of the weekend. Thursday, I helped Seth's mom out a little, then Seth and I went to go see Terminator Salvation. We left earlier than we usually would, because it was opening night. We went to see Danny for a little bit. Then, we headed back to the movie theater. However, my phone went off before we went in. Kelcie called me wanting to hang out. She had graduated from BCC that night and she wanted to celebrate. Back in the day, Denna would wanna hang out when there were wrestling PPVs on. I used to blow her off to watch them. Now, look where it got me. I wasn't about to make the same mistake twice. I told Seth to attempt to get a refund for the tickets. He just switched them for the 10:00pm show the next night. We picked up Kelcie and decided to go to the hooka bar. We hung out there for a while, then we went back to The Beef. We hung out with Danny a little bit. I got Kelcie a glass of wine. She's a bit of a light-weight, so it didn't take much to get her buzzing. We took her home, then we took Danny home. I got to play the role of the hero, that night. Kelcie said she didn't wanna drag us away from the movies, but I said it was no big deal. I could hear the appreciation in her voice when I told her that Seth was refunding our tickets. I got another peck on the cheek as a thank you. The next day, I helped Seth's mom prepare for Christian's birthday party. When Seth got out of work, we went to see Terminator Salvation. This time, Mike Sisin called me. We had to save him from his dumb girlfriend, Tiffany. After the movie was over, we came and got him. That's when sleep became very scarce. We were up until 5:00 in the morning. I slept until 3:00 in the afternoon, but Seth had to work at 1:00 in the afternoon. We had plans to go to Tioga Downs to watch UFC 98. We were both tired as hell. Danny, Jay, and Kelcie came along with us. I was watching the event when Kelcie came up to me. She didn't know how to play the slot machines. I started to get up to show her and again, she said that she didn't wanna drag me away from what I was doing. I said it was no big deal and I tried to help her. I eventually grabbed Seth and Danny to help her. Danny stopped after $20.00 and watched the event with me. Jay and Kelcie came over to us. Kelcie asked for a dollar and acted all cute and innocent. "I'll give you a kiss on the cheek," she swooned. Well, because I can hardly say no to any girl, she got what she wanted and I got what I wanted. Actually, she ended up getting another two bucks off me. In return, I got to rub her down when we got back to the house. We got to the house and Danny, Seth, and Jay watched a movie. Kelcie and I hung out downstairs. I rubbed her down and she gave me a back rub. Then, Danny and Jay took the bedroom I usually sleep in. Seth slept in his room. Kelcie and I took the couch. One thing about Kelcie is that she hates being alone. So, she wanted me as close as possible. We positioned ourselves opposite of one another. She said her feet were cold, so I placed them under my shirt. Even when I'm freezing, my body's still warm. She said that was "heavenly." Still, I couldn't really sleep. Eventually, she fell asleep and I temporarily was able to move into a more comfortable position. I don't know how long I slept, but I know it wasn't very long. Well, we all got up at noon. Seth took everybody home. I was with Danny and Jay at his mom's place. They had a cook-out, that day. Danny's family are very nice. There was plenty of food. They told me to come back again. Seth came to get us. He dropped Danny and Jay off, then he took me to the movie theater to meet my friend, Stephanie. We made plans to see Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian. After the movie was over, I said good bye to Steph and had Seth pick me up. Because we didn't sleep very much in the past two nights, Danny let us stay at his place for the night. The minute I got to Danny's, I threw a pillow on the floor and collapsed on it. The rest of them were watching TV. Danny asked if I had seen one of the new episodes of Family Guy. I responded with "don't care," and tried to sleep. Now, before I continue, there's a few things that should be brought to everyone's attention. I've pretty-much spoiled Kelcie rotten for the past month. The reason being is that she's worth it. I've taken her out to dinner twice, I've given her back massages, and I just never say no to her about anything. But, unlike everyone else that I've spoiled, she's shown her appreciation. Also, I have a thing for eyes. Some say that they're a window to the soul. I respect the power that eyes have. They tell the whole story. My two weaknesses with girls are when they give the puppy dog look and when they cry. Kelcie's only given me the puppy dog look twice, but she did it playfully. Alright, now that's been brought to everyone's attention, I can continue. So, I'm trying to sleep, but after being there for only five minutes, I feel something playfully poke my side. I looked up and Kelcie's sitting in the armchair, smiling brightly at me. "Where's my foot massage?" she asked playfully. "You want one?" I asked as I rolled over on my back. She took her flip-flops off and rested her feet on my stomach. When I was a kid, mom and I would watch movies a lot. We'd lay on opposite sides of the couch and she'd ask me to give her foot rubs. Because of this, I eventually became pretty good at giving them. My lady friends have suggested that I made that my profession, but that's not happening. With my luck, some old fat lady would come in wanting one and I'd have no choice, but to massage her. Screw that! However, I haven't heard one complaint to this day. So, I gave Kelcie a foot massage and it hit me that she's really getting used to me spoiling her. She's also becoming very comfortable around me, which is doing wonders for my self-esteem. She thanked me for the foot massage and gave me a big hug, then she left. I finally fell asleep after an hour. Yesterday, I went over to Robin's for yet another bbq. It didn't last long, but Seth had to work, so I hung out with her the rest of the day. Apparently, things have sucked for her too. I promised that I'd come back and hang out with her again real soon. Hanging out with Robin brought me back to how it used to be back in the day. We used to hang out all the time. That also did wonders for my self-esteem. I go back home, tomorrow. Luckily, I only have to be there two days and then I'm leaving again. Danny's son's birthday is Saturday and I'm going bowling with a friend of mine on Friday. So far, things are slowly improving again.

One Of A Kind

Team USA pulled off a win, last night. I was kind of surprised at that. Team USA whines and cries a lot. It's really embarrassing. This week, Jason Pierce was pissing and moaning about everything. Everyone on Team USA are sick of his negativity. He hurt his foot during the fight that he won to get inside the house. Not only that, but he's friends with the guy that Dan Henderson wants him to fight. Needless to say, he's a little reluctant stepping into the octagon. This is how it is. When you're in the UFC, sometimes you have to fight your friends. If you're on the Ultimate Fighter show, the chances of making friends are almost a guarantee unless you're an asshole. I always get annoyed when a fighter says, "We're friends and all, but I gotta bash his face in." It seems like a cocky statement from where I'm standing. If I were a UFC fighter and I had to fight a good friend of mine, I'd say something to the effect of "I'm just gonna do my best and we'll still be friends either way." Anyway, Jason Pierce has done nothing but bitch and moan for two weeks now. He even walked away from an assistant coach when he was talking to everybody. As far as he was concerned, practice was over. That was last week, though. This week, he was just a miserable son of a bitch. Everybody including the UK guys were fed up with him. Team USA's down and the last thing that they need, is someone spreading negativity. Jason Dent beat his opponent with a choke/armbar hold. Dana White called in Jason Pierce after the fight. He basically told him that he was done. He could tell that Pierce had no intention of fighting, so he benched him. Dana said it best, last night. You either have the heart to fight or you don't. Pierce didn't have it, so Dana didn't waste his time on him. The episode ended with Pierce having a temper tantrum in the parking lot. Dan Henderson didn't have faith in Pierce winning anyways. I kind of feel sorry for Henderson. Although, he's only down by one win, his team has performed poorly so far. Then again, a coach's leadership shows through his players. When I was on the wrestling team in 2001, I had the worst coach to ever step foot on a mat. He didn't really care about the sport at all. He only agreed to be the coach to save the program. I don't know if he did it to act like some kind of hero, but he was far from it. There was a lot of b.s during practices. The guys on the team didn't care, because the coach didn't care. The team captain sucked both on and off the mat. His attitude was piss-poor. I remember the coach bringing in a friend of his to show us some techniques. The guy observed all of us and then said, "There's a lot of grab-assing going on in this room, right now. So, I'm going to leave. When all you guys are done grab-assing, give me a call." Then, he stood up from his chair and left. My grades sucked, so I didn't really get that much mat-time, but that's not the point. In 2002, a new coach took over. There was no b.s and the guy knew what he was doing. He did wonders for the program. He bought new warm-up gear, new sweat shirts, and a new wrestling mat that we needed badly. There was less grab-assing and more getting down to business. We still joked around and had fun, but we were working our asses off too. Grades were still horrible, but the team was starting to improve. I took a year off, because I knew my grades wouldn't be any better that year. Well, the team was still improving. They were actually winning tournaments now. When I returned to the mat in 2004, not only did we become Division II Mac Champions, but I finally secured a win. Dan Henderson needs to turn his team around and fast. Quarter-finals are right around the corner. He needs to even things up, next week. As for the "war on friendship", things have pretty-much stayed the same. Actually, I haven't hung out with Kelcie that much, this week. I haven't hung out with Denna at all, since she came home. I still don't know what to think of Cody. I'm still not happy about everything he's done. Choosing Bridgette over Kelcie is like choosing a rusty used car over a Lambo. I've probably said this before, but I should've dated Kelcie instead of trying to get with Denna, last year. I think I might've had a chance. I kind of feel bad for her too. Not just because of all the hell Cody put her through, but because everyone wants to date her. Calvin, Seth, me...well not so much me, but at one point, I'd have asked her out. She asked me a couple weeks ago when Steve Clark and I had picked her up for my party if I ever got tired of Seth. The answer is all of the time. I put up with Seth because I have to. Some of my major issues that I have with him are his lack of hygiene and appearance, his immaturity, his inability to think before he speaks, and he tries to be me. His freakin' cousin's the same way. Both of them try to act like me. They don't dress like me, because that's just not possible. They do try to talk like me. I've complained about this before. Hence the reason I don't say "Champ" anymore. Here's an example of how Seth tries to be like me. Whenever we're in his car and a song from the 90's comes on the radio, I'll shout "old school!" Well, now HE does it. Another example: Danny's puerto rican and has an accent when he talks. I can match his accent and sound just like him. Now, Seth does the same "Danny" accent that I do. It's kind of annoying. I remember Kelcie assuring me that I'd never be like anyone else. She and most of my friends agree that I'm one of a kind. There'll never be another person that's just like me. Seth needs to get that through his head. Also, I can get away with a lot. Well, Seth'll see me get away with it and just assume that he can get away with it too. Well, he can't get away with the same crap I can. I don't even know how I get away with it. He made a fat joke to Chris once when I was at Cortland. Chris told him in a very serious tone, "Jack's not here to save you anymore." I find that funny, because I never did save Seth from anybody. A month ago, Kelcie asked for our help with a video project. I had to "fall" and need help getting back up. Well, Seth's role was to offer a hand and allow me to lean on him. During one of the takes, I said in a low voice: "this is the only time I will ever use you as a crutch." He thought I was kidding, but I wasn't. Hell, I remember when Denna came back home the first time. I wanted to see her, so Seth and I went to Danny's. He was saying crap like, "if it weren't for me, you wouldn't get to see her." I put him in his place fast. I told him that I'd have done whatever it took to get to Danny's that night, whether it were to take a bus, find someone else to take me, or walk. I told him to never make himself more important than he is. After all of these stories that I just told, why do I still hang out with him? I claim that I don't need him and he's worthless, so why do I still allow him to chill with my friends and me? Well, first of all, his family's nothing like him and they're good, honest, hard-working people. Second of all, keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer.

Nothing Changed.

The weekend was definitely interesting. Friday, I took Kelcie out to dinner like I promised her. It started out pretty good. This time I was able to cover not only the meal, but the tip as well. The last time that I went out on a date, it was back in 2005. I paid for everything that night as well. That's how it should be. The man should pay for everything. Hell, the man should DO everything. I feel like a loser if I can't pay for anything and I'm hanging out with a girl. Last year, I was pretty good financially. When I was at the bars, I could pay for a beer for me and whatever the girl wanted. I was able to experience the finer things in life. But nothing lasts forever. Well, everything was so far so good. Then, she wanted to go to this bubble tea's place in vestal. That was fine with me. She ordered her drink, I ordered mine. She reached in her wallet and I pulled out a $10.00 bill. I handed the cashier the money while asking her what did she think she was doing. When someone's out on a date with me, I pay for everything. She was beaming appreciatively. Things were going better than even I could imagine. Then, just like everything else, they came crashing down. Of all the people to walk into that damn place, Cody and Bridgette walked in. Kelcie's mood plummeted. We left immediately. I was pissed off, because I was trying to give Kelcie just one night where she didn't have to think about any of that crap. Kelcie, even though she was upset, noticed that I wasn't too happy either. She thought I was pissed that our date was ruined. Which, I do admit that was one of the reasons why I was pissed. But, it was more that I was trying to give Kelcie one good night and I couldn't even do that. Well, she said that dinner was wonderful and she thanked me for everything. I was still fuming, though. So, she asked if I wanted a kiss on the cheek. I responded with "I don't care." Not the best choice of words I admit. Luckily for me, Kelcie wasn't offended. Instead, she grabbed the front of my shirt and said "well, come here, cutie." Then, she gave me a soft kiss on my cheek. We hung out at Danny's for a little bit, then I went to The Beef to meet Seth and bring Danny home. I told Danny what happened. Danny's response was "if she breaks my brother's heart, I'm gonna break her heart." Calvin's been hanging out with Kelcie ever since she went with him to his sister's 15th birthday party. She told me that she likes hanging out with Calvin, but she doesn't like him as a boyfriend. However, she hasn't told Calvin that. So far, Calvin's been making all the moves. Kelcie's trying to be nice and not hurt anyone's feelings, but she needs to be honest with this guy before it gets ugly. I don't really approve of Danny preparing to get all hostile over the situation. It's Calvin's business. I'd remain neutral if something happened, but I'd still be between a rock and a hard place. When we got back to Danny's Cody was there along with Calvin and Kelcie. I honestly don't know what Cody's intentions are. I am proud of Kelcie for being strong so far. When he called her, she threw it all back in his face. A lesser girl would've forgave and forgot. She was smarter than that. They were talking outside, but I don't know what was said. I just made sure both of them were alright before I left. I had about a six pack after my date with Kelcie, so I was pretty hammered. Part of me isn't too happy with Cody trying to talk to Kelcie again. He's used her the past couple months and he disregarded her thoughts and opinions about pretty-much everything. Kelcie said there was nobody better than Cody, but I disagree. Everytime I look in the mirror, I see someone better than Cody. If I see him doing his usual antics, I'm putting a stop to it...FAST! I slept until 2 in the afternoon. Then, I had to go back to Hancock to help Seth's mom and step-father. I was just helping them prepare the computer lab for the summer. I'm going back to help them finish up on Thursday and Friday. However, I refuse to work there again. I had my fill, last year. I don't care how desperate I get, I will never work at that place again. It's not worth it. Sunday, we all went to a barbeque in Kirkwood. There were a few people from Harpursville over there. They pretty-much stayed the same with the exception that they drink now. Then, Danny, Seth, and I went to the movies. They saw Star Trek, I saw Angels & Demons. I had no interest of seeing Star Trek. Monday, I helped Marcy get the rest of her stuff out of the house. She rewarded me by getting me all tanked up. I came home today, but I'm just gonna leave again on Thursday. I wanted to hang out with some people this week, but I gotta do this other crap. Next week, I'll hang out with everyone.

Fighting A War

Team UK's still in the lead. Although, Dan Henderson did win the coach's challenge that was worth $10,000 for him and $1,500 for everyone on his team. During the challenge, the USA guys kept running their mouths to Mike Bisping. I know Mike's done the same to the USA guys and I know that when Matt Hughes did it, I didn't like it much. Still, some of the USA guys ask for it. Also, the guys that were running their mouths, I didn't really like to begin with. Damarques Johnson's done nothing but run his mouth about Mike Bisping. Cameron Dollar was another one that kept saying Mike was white as hell. Mike fired back a few times. It wasn't really a big deal, but there's a time when everyone should just shut up and let the coaches do their thing. It was funny though, because during USA fighter Richie Whitson's birthday, Cameron was crying about how he missed his family and how much being inside the house was affecting him. Stop crying, you freakin' pansy. You act like such a cocky little bitch half the time, then you start drinking and your true colors start to show. Basically, I'm really disappointed at the fighters representing team USA. They bicker amongst themselves and play stupid practical jokes on Team UK, then they wonder why they lose. If a guy from team UK doesn't win the entire competition, I just hope the fighter from team USA deserved that win. I realized last week, that despite Cody saying there "were" no sides anymore, that there are still sides. Usually when something like this would happen, I'd just remain neutral. However, I can't do that, this time. Ever since the 70's disco party, things haven't been the same. Kelcie flipped out on me when I did nothing wrong, which in turn, pissed me off. So, I sided with Bridgette and Cody. Kelcie didn't really have anyone on her side. At least no one that I can think of. Then, she called me up and we worked everything out. I came to my senses and I started to hang out with her. Last Saturday, there was either Bridgette's party or there was my party. At Bridgette's party, there was her, Cody, Brad, Denna, Emily, and Cory. At my party, there was Kelcie, Dan, D-squared, Chris, Dilly, Steve, Michelle, Bridgette Taylor, Tyler, Danny, Jay, Calvin, Seth, and myself. There were only two people that I really didn't care for at my party. It was then that I realized that there's Cody and Bridgette's side and there's Jack and Kelcie's side. Because there are sides, that means there's a war. Denna and Cory are neutral, but I know Denna pretty well. She'll give both sides information. She can't really be trusted and she's spilled information about me several times. Jay may not like Bridgette, but she's been running her mouth about me to Kelcie. Danny stood up for me, but if she continues to run her mouth, I'll deal with her myself. I guess on Monday, Bridgette tried to butt in on Jay's personal business with Danny. Well, Jay put Bridgette in her place. However, instead firing back at Jay, Bridgette and Brad blamed Kelcie. She didn't have anything to do with any of it. Kelcie's trying to move on, but Cody calls her or texts her once a week and the two dumbasses (Bridgette and Brad) blame her for anything that goes wrong for them. What Cody, Bridgette, Brad, and all them don't know is that I'm on Kelcie's side. Whatever they tell me, I inform Kelcie. I'm sorry, but I don't approve of how Cody treated her. Kelcie's starting to realize that I'm a good ally to have on her side. She informs me what "the enemy" has been doing and I let her know what I've heard. However, whatever she tells me, I don't inform Cody and Bridgette. Bridgette knows she's losing this war. So, she tries to stir up more drama. She's still trying bury Kelcie. I know she's probably tried to turn Denna and Kelcie's other friends against her. However, when you get me as an ally, you also get my crew on your side. So, Kelcie has me, Chris, Dan, Mike and a few others. Bridgette doesn't know this, but she's already lost.

Drinking And Thinking

Both Team USA and Team UK got wins on The Ultimate Fighter. The reason why Mike Bisping didn't make it to the last fight was because he was in a deep sleep. He said that he's been having jet-lag since coming to Vegas. I still give him a lot of credit, though. He said that it was in-excuseable to no-show for a fight. He lived up to his mistake. Unfortunately, Cameron Dollar won his fight and advanced. I really don't like the guy. The other guy from Team USA was running his mouth about how he was gonna knock his opponent's teeth out. Here's the amusing part. It was HIM that had HIS teeth knocked out in the fight. So, Team UK's up 3-2. No surprise there. On Tuesday, it was Cinco de Mayo. Marcy asked me to come drink with her. Cassandra and Alan were up there as well. I think it's the first time that I drank with them that didn't end with them arguing. Overall, it was a lot of fun. I was pretty damn hammered. It's been a while, since I've gotten that drunk. Three shots of tequila, two shots of vodka, and two beers. Thursday, Cory called me. Apparently, history's repeating itself. Last year, things were going great between Denna and I. Then, everyone started getting involved in our business including Bridgette. Everyone was telling everyone what the other said and no one knew who they could trust. After I left for Hancock, it all subsided...completely. Well, it's happening again, but this time, it's happening to Cory. Except he had someone that he could trust. That person was me. I told him that the same thing happened to me and I'd think of a way to stop it. Seriously, though. Why does everybody care what the hell Denna does? I'm not condoning anything that was done in the past two years, but people need to stay the hell out of it. That's part of the reason why Denna and I didn't date officially. She shut down, because everyone was getting involved. I'm pretty-much over it now, but I don't think it's right that they're doing the same thing to Cory. Hopefully, they'll grow the hell up. Friday, Danny, Seth, and I went to the ECPW show. We sat next to one of the wrestler's wives. She was freakin' cool as hell. The show overall, was probably their best one overall. The cage match was definitely better than 2CW's. Saturday was probably the best day. Despite my misgivings, I went through with my party. Steve Clark picked me up, so we could go get Kelcie and meet the others. When we got to Kelcie's place, I saw a girl that looked like Denna come out of the house. At first, I thought it was Denna. Then, as she got closer to the car, I realized that it was actually Kelcie. She looked just like Denna. She looked incredible. Also, I got to see Tyler Blackman and Dilly. I haven't seen those guys in about a year. There were 14 people there all together. Me, Steve, Kelcie, Dan, Chris, Bridgette, D-Squared (other Dan), Michelle, Dilly, Tyler, Seth, Jay, Danny, and Calvin. Seth and Danny's family showed up later, because Danny and Calvin had to work. The rest of us hung out and played a drinking game called three-man. It's like Kings, but it's not as complicated. Kelcie was trying like hell to get me drunk. I was her primary target. I'll get into that in a little bit. The thing that took me by surprise, was that there was no drama. Well...Dan was going through a little dilemma. He wasn't sure if that night should be "the night." He was nervous. It didn't help that everyone was pressuring him into "doing it." So, I pulled him aside and gave him the best advice that I could. I told him to make sure he was doing it for the right reasons. Well, he decided that it was indeed time. I just hope he doesn't end up regretting it later. So, that leaves Chris and I as the only virgins in the group. He'll probably lose his next. Then, there'll only be one. I'm determined to make sure that I'm with the right girl, before I do anything. I'm still sticking with my decision. Today was mother's day. Mom and Dad came back from Virginia Beach, today. I was over at my grandmother's for most of the day. Now, here's what made my entire weekend. Kelcie called me to let me know that she had a great time at my place. She said the same thing last night. She kept thanking me for inviting her. I told her it was my pleasure. Then, she asked if I could hang out, later. That was the original plan. Well, by the time Seth got his dumbass to my place, she had left already. She felt bad that she missed us, but I assured her that it was alright. I'm taking her out to dinner, later during the week. Here's what I don't get. She told me straight-up that she just wants to be friends. But, Thursday she called me, wondering where I was. I told her that I was home. "Nooo," she groaned. She asked if Seth could bring me over to her place. I said that Seth was watching a movie and I apologized that I couldn't hang out with her, that day. Today, she wanted me to come hang out with her. She comes and finds me every Tuesday and Thursday. The way she acted around me the past few weeks gave me the impression that she was interested. But, she said that she just wants to be friends. I'm a bit confused. Even when she was dating Cody, she didn't hang out with me nearly this much. I'm not complaining about it. In fact, it actually makes me feel pretty damn good that she wants to hang out. But, I just don't understand it. Then again, I'm probably one of the best guy friends that she has. I'm always there when she needs me. I always have been. Even when she was angry with me, I was there if she needed me. Sure, I was a bit bitter when she accused me of screaming at her and when she took out all of her frustration on me, but I still would've been there for her. I do that for all of my friends. Maybe she just appreciates me for that. I know that she cares for me to an extent. She hates to see anything but a smile on my face. I'm the same way with her, though. It could be wishful thinking again. I just don't know. When she was dating Cody, I still could've sworn she was looking at me in a particular way. Kind of like how Denna looked at me, back in the day. I'm not gonna push anything, because that could put a stop to her hanging out with me. I'm just gonna continue being her good friend. Whatever happens, happens.

Only Second Best.

The weekend wasn't too eventful. Friday, I was supposed to meet Seth at The Beef. What happened was that Kelcie called me earlier that day. She asked if I was gonna be at Danny's for a while. I said that I was planning on staying there until I had to go to dinner. She sounded intrigued by that. I kind of learned my lesson after blowing Denna off to watch a PPV, last year. So, I asked Kelcie if she wanted to join me. She said that she'd love to. Well, she brought Calvin with her. I was fine with that, because he was able to cover his meal. I believe that when a girl dines with a guy, it should be the guy who pays. So, I told Kelcie that I'd cover her meal along with mine. Well, Kelcie ordered a $14.00 meal. I was still able to cover us, but she had to leave the tip. Next Saturday, I'm taking her somewhere. I'm not sure where yet, but I'm covering everything. I'll get into that later. Saturday, all of us just kind of hung out. Sunday, I went up to Mike's cabin with him. He said he goes there to clear his head. His dating life is chaotic. There were like four girls that are all interested, but he has no clue what he wants. I couldn't really help him that much, because I don't exactly have four girls after me. Now, getting back to next Saturday. My parents are leaving for Virginia Beach on Wednesday. That leaves me at the house for a few days. Saturday, I planned on having my boys come up. I don't know why, but I have a bad feeling about this. So far, I have Dan, Chris, Steve, Danny, Calvin, Mike, Kelcie, and Seth coming. I may have found a way to leave Dan's girlfriend, Bridgette out of it, completely. So, the only person that could ruin everyone's good time would be Seth. I think Mike, Dan, and Chris would deal with him if that were the case. I don't know what it is, but I have a bad feeling about this. It could just be that there's no other girl for me to chill with. That's really been bugging me, lately. This is gonna go into last year, a little bit. When Denna was around, I wasn't really alone anymore. Then, she played all these games and left. Well, ever since last year, I don't really wanna be alone anymore. I started hanging out with Kelcie again and according to what I described to Denna, she was interested in me. Then, Kelcie tells me straight-up that she's not interested in a relationship with me, but she wants to be friends. I'm fine with that, but Kelcie does want a relationship. I can understand where she's coming from, but that's not really doing me any favors. It's not just her, either. I'm basically everyone's big brother. Everyone likes hanging out with me, but no one's interested in a relationship even though they all know me. Here's just a couple examples of how I treat women. Kelcie was cold, last Saturday AND this past Friday. On Saturday, I took my dress shirt off and wrapped it around her, because that's all I had. On Friday, I gave her my leather jacket. When we went out for dinner, I opened the door for her, I paid for her meal, I was being a gentleman. I do that for every girl around me. I know Kelcie appreciates me. But, I've been single for a while and I'm trying to find something legit. So far, I've just found girls that like to play games and I end up getting used. At least Kelcie was straight-up with me. I'm just getting a little frustrated. I know that I'm better than half of these assholes out there, but I've got nothing. It can get to be discouraging at times. When I don't try, I do end up finding someone, but they usually play games and I get the worst end of it. When I do try, I don't find anything. I don't fully understand it, but it is what it is. I think that I was just born in the wrong generation. If I had been born back when chivalry and respect were valued, then I'd probably have an easier time finding what I'm looking for. When I was at Mike's cabin, I slept in the same room that Denna and I had, last year. Of course, I was swarmed with memories. Denna said when she saw me after coming home the first time, every memory came to her at once. I think I know what she meant after it did the same to me, last night. Maybe if the future looked a little brighter, I wouldn't be dwelling on the past so much. Keeping my head up is getting harder than it used to be. I used to be able to overlook everything. Now, it's not so easy. All I need is one good day or night and I'll be back to how I was. I just wish that the feeling would stick around. Hopefully, that good day will come soon. I need it badly.