ECPW VS. 2CW.

The finals are almost set for the Ultimate Fighter: season 8. This is the first time that I've actually wanted a season to be over because it sucks. Just as long as Antonio Nogueira dominates Frank Mir, I'll be happy. I'd be happier if Junie gets eliminated either by Dana White or someone from Team Nogueira. Last night was the first Cortland ECPW show. In my opinion, it went a lot better than the first Binghamton show that they did. The main event certainly didn't disappoint. Of course Zimmer thought it could be a lot better. Still, he thinks that ECPW's better than 2CW. I'm not too sure about that. It seems like ECPW has more bad nights than 2CW does. Zimmer sort of has a grudge against 2CW. I guess he tried to get a job over there, but they didn't hire him. He did get a job with ECPW and no matter how badly they suck, Zimmer will always say they're better than 2CW. 2CW is trying to be more like the original ECW from back in the day and in my opinion, they're succeeding. Zimmer thinks just because they have guys like "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka and Kamala work for them, makes them better than 2CW, who will bring in guys like Spike Dudley, Samoa Joe, and the Blue Meanie. Well, I've seen Snuka and Kamala both wrestle in the last couple of months and it's time that they hung up their boots. They were HORRIBLE! They were good back in the day, but not so much anymore. Don't get me wrong, they were nice guys, but they should retire. Also, they may be legends, but neither one of them or half of the "Legends" that work for ECPW won the WWF Championship back in the day. ECPW deals with has-beens, while 2CW deals with guys that can still go. It's only because I'm friends with Zimmer that I kept on going to the ECPW shows. They are getting better each time. I'll give them that. I'm a bigger fan of 2CW, but I like the guys in ECPW too. The show last night wasn't half bad. They held a tournament, which was pretty entertaining. Kamala vs. Prince Akhannatan was horrid, but the Prince did a good job. The main event was freakin' awesome. Gino Caruso & Anarchy vs. The Army of Darkness tornado tag street fight. That one certainly didn't disappoint and it's comforting to know that Gino still has it. Their next show's in Binghamton in February. I don't know who their big name will be, but I'll be there regardless.

Thanksgiving Break.

There's only two more weeks left in the semester. I couldn't be any happier with that. I went on break earlier than I planned. Still, I needed to get out of Cortland for a few days anyways. I went back to BCC on Monday. I wasn't able to see Dan and Chris, but I saw a few more people than the last couple of times I've been there. At one point, I heard someone cry out my name. I snapped my head in the direction of the voice. This yellow blur is heading in my direction...FAST! She pounced before I could tell who it was. It was a good friend of mine. Apparently, I was missed more than I thought I'd be. So, I hung out with her and later on, Kara. Kara was generous enough to scratch my back and release some of the tension that I've been feeling. That was pretty-much my Monday. Tuesday, I didn't do a damn thing. Wednesday, one of the guys that works with my dad wanted to go hunting on Thanksgiving, so he came up on Wednesday. We all went out for dinner at this bar/restaraunt. The bar tender went to school with me, but she was two years below me. Later on, her best friend stopped by. Well, my friend wanted her. Unfortunately for him, the girls in Harpursville are smarter than him. He did get the bartender's number, but he wanted me to play wingman and get her number for him. I flat out refused. Still, we were there longer than we should've been. Thursday, Thanksgiving, we didn't end up going hunting, because we were out so late. I ended up hanging out with Kyle after dinner. We went to this hockey game in Binghamton. Man, did they suck. Friday, I did nothing. Saturday, my parents and I went to the bar. Yesterday, before leaving to go back to Cortland, I called my roommate to see when it was gonna be open. He informed me that him and Alicia were no longer together. When I saw him yesterday, he looked happier than he's been in months. Now that Alicia's no longer around, he's been hanging out with his second family. He's not the only one that seems happy that Alicia's no longer in the picture. I for one, was pleased to hear that he finally dumped her. I saw it coming. Apparently, a lot of people did. Personally, I'm looking forward to the changes. It looks like I'll see how Whitaker Hall was last semester after all.

How Things Used To Be

Things have gone alright, since my visit to BCC. Team Mir still has control, but whatever. Nogueira will destroy Mir when they fight in December. Brock Lesnar beat Randy Couture for the UFC Heavyweight Championship. That really sucks, because I like Randy over Brock. Last week, was very interesting. Later on that same Tuesday that I came to see Kara, something happened. My roommate hung out with Kristi. I actually got to see them kid around a bit. When I first came to Cortland, Kristi told all of the new guys that Whitaker Hall (my dorm building) was like a big family. My roommate said that it was awesome. This semester, things haven't been good for him. His girlfriend has forbidden him to hang out with Kristi. I guess they were really close, last semester. Like how Ashley and I used to be our first year at BCC. Like how Robin and I are now. Before I continue with the story, I'm gonna side track a bit. Joe's girlfriend, Alicia is really starting to irritate me. She complains about EVERYTHING! Not only that, but she's constantly bossing Joe around and I don't go for that crap. Thanksgiving break's coming up and I'm calling all of my lady friends up, so I can hang out with them. I'm gonna hang out with Stephanie at one point. She really wants to hang out with me, which is somewhat surprising. We've hung out before, but I think she really does miss me. I miss her too. I told Joe and Alicia about that and Joe smirked slyly. I informed them that she was engaged. Alicia said: "what is it with you and married girls?" Basically, implying what happened with Denna earlier this year. I told her calmly nothing was gonna happen, but she was like, "If you did it once, you'll do it again." She really doesn't know me. I shrugged it off, but she had no place making a comment like that. Anyways, I think I saw a shell of Joe's former self on Tuesday. He looked happier than he's been in months. It was a nice change. It gave me a glimpse of what things were like, last semester. I basically told both of them, that they don't have to worry about me letting anything slip to Alicia. Joe admitted that he hasn't really been himself, this semester due to all of this. He claims to be happy with Alicia, but he wants to be with Kristi. If it were anybody else, I'd probably have ripped into them, but Joe's not a prick. I gave him the best advice that I could offer him. I told him that he needs to do what's best for him. On Friday, it was Kristi's birthday. I made it a point to stop by her dorm and wish her a happy birthday. We talked for about ten minutes. It turns out that during the course of the semester, we've become close. I don't know exactly how close, but we give hugs, now. Kristi's one of those people that can brighten up your day without even realizing it. If I were Joe, I'd know exactly what to do. I'd dump the complaining, immature, little girl and I'd date Kristi immediately, before it's too late. However, I don't know how much him and Alicia have gone through in their year and a half of dating each other. According to him, they've been through a lot. Still, I know just as well as anybody that things change and people change. A shining example of this would be Ashley and me. At the time, I thought we'd be best friends forever. I also thought that eventually, her and I would be dating. I was wrong on both counts. Ever since she's been with that other guy, things haven't really been the same. You look at us both and you'd never have realized that one point, we were extremely close. Hell, we were inseparable. I wish things had turned out differently, but nothing lasts forever. If I were to predict how Joe's scenario was going to spread out, it would be this. He'd finally have had enough of Alicia's crap and dump her. He'd tell Kristi that he broke up with Alicia and they could finally be together. She'd give him a sad look and tell him that it was too late, she found someone else. He'd say he understood, but it would still eat away at him. He'd watch as Kristi walked away from him with her new boyfriend. As for me, I'd watch from the distance and shake my head. This is just a prediction. I don't really know if this is how it'll all fold out. But, that's been my luck. It's happened so many times, I've lost count. I know this much. Not everyone's gonna be happy at the end of this story. So, it looks like this story will not have a happy ending. This whole thing is in Joe's hands right now and he knows it. The ball's in his court. We'll just have to see what happens.

Seeing Kara

I went back to BCC, this afternoon. Last week, there was another incident between Nate and Kara. The soonest that I was able to get a ride to BCC was today. I will admit that when I first heard what happened, I wanted to kick Nate's head in. This is what I heard. I heard that Nate flipped out and threw a chair in Kara's direction. The chair didn't hit her, but it extremely scared her. Kara pleaded that I wouldn't go after Nate and she had a pretty good argument. In the end, I promised her that I wouldn't go after him, despite how much I wanted to. I was actually supposed to go to BCC yesterday, but Zimmer didn't get his video recorded in time. So, I showed up around 3:50pm, today. Kara's been wanting to see me for months now. Finally, we were able to hang out for a while. Zimmer and Cummings said that if Nate did anything that I didn't like, they'd "have a talk with him." Surprisingly, things didn't get ugly. In fact, Nate apologized for not just the harm he caused to Kara, but for the whole situation involving Denna. I accepted the apology and asked him very calmly to keep his emotions in check. He wants to start off clean and I see no reason why not. However, the next time someone gets hurt because of his actions, then the gloves are off and I'm taking action. Unfortunately, I could only hang around for an hour. I did promise Kara that I'd come back real soon. Hanging out with Kara today seemed different from the times that we hung out back in April and May. I can't explain it, but there was definitely something different. Both of us are single, but I'm not sure if that's it. It could be just because I haven't been around in so long. I hated BCC with a passion when I was going there, but I did meet a lot of cool people over there. Unfortunately, most of them were gone, today. I'd like to stop by there when I have more time to see them. I'm thinking about going there on my Thanksgiving break. I get out a day before they do. Today, I would've loved to have hung out for a little longer, but I had to leave when Zimmer and Cummings wanted to leave. I know that I'll have plenty of time in December. I get out a few weeks before they do. So, I plan on stopping in when I know all of them will be there. I'm pretty content in Cortland, but it was nice to have gotten away for a few hours. I know Kara really wanted to see me and I couldn't just stay at Cortland when something like that happened. My only regret is that I couldn't get there sooner.

Shut Up and Fight

There was too much grab-assing on the Ultimate Fighter, last night. More pranks than there was training. Every once and a while, a good prank is entertaining, but they're just getting more and more ridiculous. If you're on the Ultimate Fighter, you need to understand that you're there to fight and earn that six figure contract. You're not there to act like a freakin' sophomore. I was slightly disappointed with Team Nogueira. They really shouldn't have been eating anything that wasn't theirs. So, when Team Mir pissed in the next fruit bowl, I thought that was a good way to teach them a lesson. I thought that would be it for the pranks for this week. Man, was I wrong. Phillipe Nover's opponent for this week had been eating his sushi, since week 2. So, to teach HIM a lesson, a guy from Team Nogueira jerked off in the sushi and sure enough, Kaplan ate it. I'm sorry, but this is starting to get pathetic. A prank or two is fun and helps keep the audience entertained, but there's no place for an entire season of pranks on a fighting show. Krysztof Soszynski started the pranks and although they were entertaining at first, I'd just rather they stopped. Krysztof should be focusing on winning the contract instead of pulling pranks in the house. He gets to fight, next week. We'll see just how badly he wants it. Also, Team Mir was shown just sitting around during a training session. Junie and Shane were the only ones actually training. Junie was getting frustrated that the rest of his team weren't doing anything. I don't really like Junie, but he had a point. Even Frank Mir was sitting on his ass and he's a coach. When Junie started throwing a fit in the gym, Mir was laughing. Every week, I start to dislike Mir more and more. Kind of like when Matt Hughes was a coach for season 2. At first, I didn't mind the coaches. Then, they starting acting like assholes. I can't wait to watch Nogueira kick Mir's ass in December. Junie was talking to Team Nogueira and he straight up told Nover that Kaplan's jiu-jitsu wasn't that superior. Now, I really can't stand Junie, but I was applauding him. I think that really lifted Nover's confidence and he ended up choking Kaplan out in the first round. Team Nogueira's even with Team Mir in wins again. Personally, I'm very disappointed in this season. I can't put my finger on it, but there's definitely something missing that the other seasons had. I just want the damn season to be over, so Season 9 can start. Mike Bispin has already been announced as one of the coaches. No clue who the other coach is, but if I were asked who I'd LIKE to see as a coach, I'd say either Rashad Evans or Stephan Bonner.

Back in Candor

I know it's a bit late with the feedback from the last episode of The Ultimate Fighter, but with Halloween being on Friday, my time was short as it was. I was really pulling for Team Nogueira. Is it just me or is everyone on Team Mir a cocky asshole? It was Antonio Nogueira's birthday, so his team made him dinner and two birthday cakes. Some of the guys on Team Mir said in their confessionals about how this whole "Team Nogueira being a family" was pathetic. I swear it...if both winners are on Team Mir, I'm gonna be pissed. Team Nogueira may be behind as of right now, but at least they have class. I don't know exactly what happened, but Team Nogueira informed Antonio that someone on Team Mir was talking shit about him. I honestly don't know how true that was. It certainly wouldn't surprise me. Well, Nogueira approached the guy accused of running his mouth and told him in Brazilian, that they were now enemies. The guy argued and attempted to defend himself, but Nogueira wasn't hearing any of it. Unfortunately, that guy did win his fight and Team Mir still has control. Hopefully, this week'll be a good week for Team Nogueira. That's about it for the UFC action, last week. Friday was Halloween. Now, as I've stated countless times before, Seth still acts like a 6 year old. So, of course HE'D wanna go trick-or-treating with his 2-year-old sister. Since I was gonna stay the weekend at their place, I had to go with them as well. I think Shaun Cummings said it best, "I'm a 23 year old grown-ass man. I don't dress up for Halloween, anymore." Well, unfortunately I had no choice in the matter. It was embarrassing as all hell. Fortunately, that's not all we did for Halloween. Seth's mom dropped us off at Aaron and Marcy's afterwards. I could tell they missed me, because they kept poking fun at me and they also kept feeding me shots. I got pretty hammered. The next day, we all had to go to this farm for this Halloween festival thing. That was boring for the most part. Later, I dragged Seth to the ECPW show. I was pleasantly surprised with the way it turned out. It was much better than their first show in Binghamton. In fact, I'm really looking forward to their Cortland show that they're putting on, December 5th. My view on the promoter has changed. The first show in Binghamton was a disaster and I thought that Gino was mostly at fault. Everything was disorganized and piss-poorly done. However, Gino made it up to the fans and in my book, that really means something. That show was awesome, last night. I was even fortunate to get Gino's autograph. Zimmer's always inviting me to ride up with him and Shaun when they go to New Jersey at Gino's home. I may take them up on that offer. Now that I know that Gina actually does know what he's doing, I'd like to get to know him better.

Haunted Hall 2008

I thought this weekend was gonna be busy as hell. Friday was kind of busy, but my plans got cancelled, yesterday. So, it wasn't as busy as I thought it'd be. Friday, I volunteered to be a tour guide for the haunted hall at my college. At first, I really didn't wanna do it. But, after I got a feel for it, I started to enjoy myself. The guy we had dressed as the Joker was perfect. He could take over Heath Ledger's role. It is a shame that Heath died the way he did and he did a fantastic job in his last role, but this guy looked and sounded just like Heath did. At first, his scene was kind of dull, but he made things more exciting when he'd grab me and put a blade near my mouth. I was cool with it, because it worked well. Eventually, to give my voice a rest from screaming, he'd pull the blade out and point it at the group of girls/guys that we were leading. I think that was pretty gutsy on his part. But, everyone was cool with it, so it worked out well. There were about six tour guides on Friday. Maybe even more than that. So, they paired us up. At first, I was with my APM, Audrey. Then, I was with this guy dressed like a rock star. Then, I was paired up with this very gorgeous blonde girl. She was really cool. She said her and I were a good team. I think she really did enjoy doing tours with me. After we were done with the haunted hall, one of the Asian girls, Tina dragged me to a party. That was a lot of fun. I got to hang out with some of the people that live in the same building that I do. They were really cool. One of them kept getting me beer and making sure I was meeting new people. I didn't get back until around 2:45 in the morning. Saturday, I was supposed to hang out with some friends from high school, but one of them got called into work and it was pouring outside. So, we're gonna hang out either this week or next week. I'm not sure which. So, I was able to help out for the haunted hall again. This time, Jason was helping out with it. Nothing against Jason, but sometimes he can be too much. So, it was him and I doing tours at first. Then, the girl from Friday, Danielle came back to help with the tours. So, she was doing tours with us. It would've been nice if she continued to do tours with us, but she went off to do other things. I have a hunch of why she stopped doing tours with us. I think Jason was becoming to be a bit too much for her and she decided to do other things to help out along with getting away from him. I have several reasons why that could be the case. For one thing, whenever Jason made a comment about anything, she would just tear him apart verbally. When she had her feet up on another tour guide (who was a girl), the tour guide's like, "your feet are dirty". Jason said he'd clean them for her and acted like he was gonna pour water on them. She freaked the hell out and glared at him. So, finding out anything about her while he was around, just wasn't happening. Personally, I think I'd have had more luck getting to know her more if Jason wasn't around, but that's just my luck. She did wave at me and asked "how's it going" on my way over here, though. So, she didn't have a problem with me. Overall, it was fun though. Next year, I'm gonna actually be part of the show. Being a tour guide was just my way of testing the waters. That and I really didn't wanna act. Next year, I wanna be more active. Next weekend's Halloween and the Independent show. Halloween'll be cool, but I'll have to put up with my good friends Keith Zimmer and Shaun Cummings. They're alright with me, but they're assholes to everyone else. I still don't think they're gonna make a big impact in the wrestling business. At least I'll have something to do, next weekend.

Put Up or Shut Up

Last night's fight had to be the most disappointing fight this season. I was waiting eagerly for someone to finally shut Junie up. Roli from Team Nogueira was chosen to fight him. During the fight selection, Junie tossed a black belt at him followed with a shove. Here's a little background on that. A lot of people think that Roli didn't really earn his black belt. Personally, I could care less where Roli got his black belt from as long as he kicked Junie's ass. But, everyone was making a big deal about where Roli got his black belt and if he truly earned it or did someone from UPS show up and hand him one. Well, Roli smiled and let the black belt drop to the ground where Junie spat on it. The look on Nogueira's face said it all. I could tell that Nogueira was not pleased at all. He didn't comment on the confessional or on camera, but I know he was displeased with Junie's actions. I thought that Junie was way out of line on that one too. Then, back at the house, Junie's running his mouth, saying that Roli probably wouldn't make it past the first round. Roli's telling the confessional that Junie needs an ass kicking and he's just the person to give it to him. At the weigh-ins, Junie's over by two pounds. At this point, Frank Mir's starting to get frustrated with him. Ever since last episode, I'm not Frank's biggest fan, but he had a point on this one. Junie's got on the rubber suit and he's running on the treadmill. Then, they get one of those pedalling bikes outside and get him on that. He's bitching that his legs are tired. He's not the first one that's bitched and moaned when they're cutting weight. It's like every season has that one guy that can't make weight and bitches when it comes time to cut it. Well, he eventually does make the weight. It's only two pounds. When I was on the wrestling team, there were a couple guys that would be over two pounds, but they'd cut it easily. Ok, now it's fight time. Roli has a chance to prove that he did indeed earn his black belt and he can stop Junie from advancing to the quarter-finals. The first round seemed to be up in the air, but at one point, Junie pulled a Leban and stuck his chin out with his hands down. Roli took advantage and landed a few good blows including a spinning back-fist. Junie didn't like that too much and responded with four hard hits of his own. Then, the round ended. I can't stand it when some asshole gets all cocky and taunts his opponents like that. I didn't like it when Leban did it and I really hated it when Junie did it. I'm sure Mir told him not to do that anymore, because that's the last time he did. Second round wasn't as even as the first round. Roli started to disappoint me. I'm not a MMA expert by any means, but even a fanboy like me can tell when a fighter's not doing something right. Roli wasn't circling around, he wasn't putting up a strong offense, he certainly didn't have a strong defense. I was literally screaming at my television for Roli to start unloading on the son of a bitch. At one point, Junie dropped him. It looked like it Junie was gonna finish Roli in the second round. But, Roli got back to his feet and the fight continued. The fight went to a third round, which pleased me. That meant that Roli had won the first round. Unfortunately, the third round was just about the same as the second round. I don't think I've ever seen punches get thrown that slow in my life. Roli had no power behind his punches. Junie didn't really have an power behind his blows either. Neither one of them looked that impressive. Both of them sucked. At one point, Roli was on his back kicking at Junie's legs. That wasn't gonna get the job done. Roli really needed to unload on Junie, but he didn't until the last ten seconds just like he did in the second round. At the end of the round, Junie was announced as the winner. Junie did show a bit of respect to Nogueira after the fight. He shook Nogueira's hand and apologized for the black belt bit. Nogueira accepted his apology and that was it. Roli was in his locker room with the rest of Team Nogueira. He started to cry, which annoyed me even more. A couple things. First of all, if someone spit on MY black belt and questioned my skills, I'd do everything in my power to beat the hell out of him. Secondly, when someone talks a lot of trash and can't back it up, it's like the ultimate pet peeve with me. Roli was running his mouth about how he was gonna give Junie and asskicking and then he doesn't do a damn thing. Now, he's crying about it. Now, I'm questioning whether he really earned his black belt or not. There's also one in every season like Roli. Even though Leban's my boy, he was one of those guys. He said he was gonna destroy Josh Koschek, but when it was fight day, Koschek took him down and laid on him for three rounds. As a result, Leban lost the fight and he too cried about it. The difference is that I felt bad for Leban, I don't feel bad for Roli. Personally, I feel that Roli should quit crying like a baby and take the loss like a man. As far as Junie's concerned, I'm not worried that he'll win the entire thing. He didn't face a real fighter. I'm guessing he'll get eliminated in the quarter-finals if he doesn't get kicked off the show by then.

My Family From BCC

UFC 89 wasn't too bad. I didn't do too well on my UFC Fantasy, but oh well. I like both Bisping and Leban, but I was pulling for Leban, because he's one of the two people that inspired me to watch UFC in the first place. I was disappointed in Leban at the end of both the second and third rounds. He basically put his hands down and shouted at Bisping to hit him. That was a stupid move on his part. I'm not an expert in MMA, but even I know that all it takes is one good shot to the jaw and it's lights out. Leban's known as a bit of a hothead and he must've known that he was losing the fight. Still, I wouldn't be sticking my head out there with my hands down. I give Bisping credit, though. He didn't start unwinding on Leban. He kept the fight at his pace. Halfway through UFC 89, my friends Andy and Jason came by my dorm to hang out. So, we were watching the rest of UFC 89 and Jason had a comment for everything. He acted like he was a martial arts expert and although, we do live in America where you can express your opinion, I wish he'd just shut the hell up and watch the fights. I don't watch UFC, so someone can logically explain the stances, fighting styles, and all that. I watch UFC, because I wanna see people get knocked out or tap out. Isn't that why any of us watch UFC? Then, after UFC 89, the three of us played Andy's RPG (roleplaying game for those of you that aren't nerds like me). We just created characters and had a practice session to get a feel for everything. Today, my grandparents stopped by my college. Although, most of the time they drive me nuts, I was glad for the visit. Mainly, because that meant my grandfather was feeling a lot better. My grandfather has been in and out of the hospital for months. At least one week per month, we'd have to go to Wilson Memorial Hospital, because he was having breathing problems. He sounded good and from what I heard, he's acting more like himself. My grandmother just drives me nut. That's pretty-much it for that. Friday, there was this Masquerade Ball at Cortland. It's a good thing I asked Andy on Wednesday when it was or I'd have missed out on it. My mother overnighted my suit to me on Thursday. I got it in plenty of time. My other concern was getting a mask. Lucky for me that Andy had to get a mask, himself. I got a decent mask for $1.25. Around 6:15pm, I started to get ready. I gave Andy a call to see if he was ready too, but his friend Xena called him and asked him to hang out. Although, Xena has a boyfriend, I don't blame Andy for choosing her over the Masquerade Ball. I was all ready and put in too much effort not to go, so I went alone. Again, I was fortunate enough to run into Kristi first thing. So, I sat at her table. Then, Jason, our friend Liz, and one of Liz's friends showed up. It was a lot of fun, but there's only one thing I would change. There were only about 5 or 6 slow songs and they were all played in a row. The rest were fast songs and some of them almost killed me. I know this will sound really sterotypical and I apologize ahead of time, but it seems like only girls and gay guys can really dance to fast music. It was still fun, though. I heard that Cortland does at least 2 or 3 dances per semester. I'm all for that. Next time, I'm gonna try not to go stag. I did get to dance with this girl, named Erica and Liz this time, but it was a risky move going alone. It's my first year at Cortland and I had no clue if anyone I knew was going or not. Well...Kristi said she wanted to go, but she also said she was on duty, that night. She did go, but she was on duty at 9:00, so she couldn't stay for the slow songs. They didn't play the slow songs until 9:20. So, if I were to change anything, it'd be that the slow songs would be mixed in with the fast ones and there's be more of them. Right now, I'm watching David Archuleta's music video for his song, Crush. It's basically him and his friends hanging out, laughing, joking, stuff like that. It kind of reminds me of my friends at BCC. I hated BCC from the moment I stepped foot on it, but I did meet a lot of great people over there. It's funny, because at first, I was just this smart-mouth kid that didn't know when to shut up. But, things happened over time and I made a lot of great friends. It's like what Chris said, one day. You're friends with someone for so long that they're no longer your friends. They're your family. That's what we are at BCC. We're a family. When I first arrived at Cortland, that's how Kristi described last semester. During the first meeting, Kristi said that Whitaker was like a family, last semester. I feel bad for her and my roommate, Joe, because it's no longer like a family anymore. I'd like to do something about it, but I have no game plan at the moment. Although, I've made a few new friends and they're all good people, they're not like the friends I have at BCC. My personality allows me to be so close to people that I actually have several "second" families. When I was at Hancock, I missed my boys and my actual family badly. I couldn't wait to get out of there. It was also a wake-up call. When I was at BCC, Dan and Chris had my back no matter what. When I was away from them, I got screwed with pretty badly and there wasn't a damn thing they could do about it. It was just a taste of what life's gonna be like when they're not around. I haven't seen Chris in a few weeks and I haven't seen Dan in months. I've talked to them when that situation happened with Kara, but that's about it. I miss those guys, but since Cortland's not as bad as Hancock, I'm pretty content, here. The people are nicer, there's stuff to do, so although I miss my friends, I'm doing pretty good. I plan on giving them a call, this week. That's another thing. It seems like their cell phone's always off. I might try the house phone just to see how those guys are doing. Next month, I have a Thanksgiving break, so I might get to see them. If not, I'll just wait until my Christmas break.

Disrespectful

Junie still didn't get kicked off. I still think he'll end up getting kicked off the show before the season's over. He didn't do anything stupid after the last week's episode. There was something that happened that I didn't really agree with. One of the guys on Team Mir decided to take it upon himself to pull practical jokes on the guys from the other team. Like, taking their clothes and saran wrapping them to their beds or freezing their underwear. Before I go any further, I'll just say that when I was at Hancock and the guys were taking my stuff from my room, I thought it was disrespectful and I wasn't too pleased. No one has the right to take anything out of anyone's room that's not theirs. Unless they have permission, they shouldn't be in there at all. But, the guys from the other team are good natured and for the most part, they just shook it off. Then, the Team Mir prankster put itching powder on their beds. From personal experience, itching powder's not fun. When I was in 6th grade, some asshole put it down my back. It's annoying as all hell. It feels like something's poking you in the back repeatedly. Well, some of the guys from Team Nogueira thought that was crossing the line. Their retaliation was putting sardines in Team Mir's bed. I never had any encounters with sardines, so I don't know how effective that would be. Well, a couple nights later, Efrain was about to pass out on a bench in the UFC gym. Nogueira asked him if he was tired. Efrain said yes and he couldn't sleep because of the itching powder in his bed. I'm not sure how accurate that is. After a while, the itching powder wears off. I'm not sure it would be still active the next day after it's been used. Well, Nogueira seemed concerned that his fighters weren't sleeping because of these pranks. Nogueira's accent...when he talks, it's kind of a calm, relaxing tone. Well, he wanted his fighters to sleep especially when one of them would be fighting the next day, so he talked to Frank Mir. Basically, he asked Mir to talk to his team about the practical pranks that were going on in the house. Mir was like, "hey, it's not me. It's them." But, Nogueira pleaded for Mir to talk to his guys, so Mir said lazily, "no practical jokes, tonight." That blows my mind, because Nogueira respectfully approached Mir about his concerns and Mir just ignored him completely. I'm sorry, but I find that really disrespectful. As a coach, you should make sure that your guys are acting the way an adult would. That's part of the freakin' job. Nogueira and his assistant coaches didn't like Mir's way of talking to his guys, so they went up to the house to talk to the guys. If Mir not paying attention to Nogueira wasn't bad enough, his team was just as bad. Nogueira and his assistant coaches tried to round all of them up to talk to them, but they just did their own thing. So, they had to talk to them in small groups. Even then, some of them claimed that they didn't do anything and that's partly true. Not all of Team Mir participated in the prank war. Same goes for Team Nogueira. But, even if you weren't part of it, you should still hear Nogueira out. I didn't judge Frank Mir as harshly as I did with Matt Hughes, because I didn't know too much about him. Now, I'm really pulling for Team Nogueira. Although, I've basically liked Nogueira from the start. Frank Mir and his team are all disrespectful and none of them deserve to win. Unfortunately, Team Mir won and now Frank has control. I hope Team Nogueira gets it back, next week. Junie's gotta fight and I hope to hell that his opponent knocks his freakin' head off. Junie did apologize to Mir for his actions and said "it won't happen again." Funny...that's what he said after that night at the house. "It won't happen again," he said. Oh, it will and it'll probably get him kicked off the show. I have a $10.00 bet on it.

New Friends And Old Ones.

This weekend hasn't been too bad. Friday could've been a little better. I went out, because it was Friday and I really didn't wanna spend the night in my dorm. So, I went out. Nothing major happened. I hung out with Shaun and James again. I ended up going back to Shaun's apartment for a little while. I tried to catch a bus back to my dorm, but both buses passed me, so I asked Shaun if I could stay at his place. He said sure, but he felt bad, because he ran out of blankets. So, I didn't sleep...at all. Around 6:40 in the morning, I went to the bus stop to see when the buses were supposed to come around again. At first I thought they were coming around 7:30 am. Then, I looked closer and saw they should be coming 8:05 am. Well, around 9:00, I was tired of waiting and just walked back to my dorm. It wasn't that far of a walk, but it would've been nice to have taken a bus. I fell asleep for a good five hours. Then, I ran into one of my new friends that I've met, since I've been here. His name's Andy. We hung out and watched a few episodes of the Boondocks. I've never seen the Boondocks before, but I've been missing out. The only real complaint I have about it is that they drop the "N" word a lot. Although, the racist black guy was funny as hell. Andy had to do homework, so I went to get food. I hung out alone in my dorm for a bit, then went to get a milkshake. I ran into Andy again, but this time, he wasn't alone. He invited me to hang out with him and his friends for a few hours. I was all for that. It was Saturday night. Who the hell wants to spend Saturday night alone? So, I met his friends, Frankie and Josh. We rented this old 80's horror flick called Evil Dead 2. Man, I forgot how bad 80's horror flicks were. This one was pretty bad, but I'd still like to see the first and third ones. Tonight, I might get to see TNA Bound for Glory. The key word is MIGHT. It's up to James' friend. Lately, the WWE Pay Per Views haven't lived up to the hype. I hope TNA doesn't fall in the same trap. This past week, I read old LJ posts of one of my old friends back in high school and part of college. He was pretty pathetic back then. It's funny, because he took great pleasure of laughing at my pain when things weren't working out with Ashley. Then, his girlfriend broke up with him and he became a big emo bitch. Not only that, but he'd try to force himself on every girl he came across. His reputation suffered after a while. It's also funny, because he'd always think he was better than me. We were good friends, but it's like...dude, are you serious? People know his rep and they know mine. So, if given the choice of who they prefer, I'm very confident that they'd choose me. I have several circles of friends. He has like one or two. Not only that, but I'm creating a new circle here at Cortland. Most of the people that know him, don't really like him. He feels like he has no limits when it comes to girls. He pretty-much degrades them, but claims he has respect for the female race. It's very funny when he finds a girl that he likes that has a boyfriend. He'll talk down to the boyfriend and try to be this alpha male. Then, when the girl finally tells him that he has no chance in hell, he'll go all emo. I bring this up, because for years, he's acted like this alpha-male and it hasn't really paid off. I can't count the number of times that several people wanted to kick his ass. Basically, I'm better than him. I'm just disappointed that it took me this long to finally realize that. Normally, I wouldn't say I'm better than anybody, but in this case, I'm a hell of a lot better. The best part is that everyone knows it.

Drunken Junie

The Ultimate Fighter was interesting, last night. Well, not really interesting. It was a shining example of why some people shouldn't drink....EVER! Junie got ridiculously drunk and was trying to start a fight with anyone and everyone. Seriously, grow the hell up. Another guy, called Shane also got drunk and as one of the guys eliquently put it, "he held his liquor like a 12 year old girl". Seriously, he was pathetic. Dana White came to the house and basically told those two guys to start acting like men. He didn't kick anyone off the show yet, but he did make Shane fight in the next fight. He fought some guy called Efrain Esqudero. He's from Team Nogueira. Efrain won the fight, which made me very happy. Junie started running his mouth, so Efrain smiled, pointed to him, said something back and Junie jumps over the cage to go fight him. Everyone held him back, but honestly. How freakin' stupid can you be? Dana White gave him a second chance that he really didn't deserve and he's still acting like a jack-ass. In fact, that's exactly what Dana called him. He said that when Junie drinks, he's a jack-ass. I give Dana all the credit in the world. He believes in second chances. Looking at some of the previous seasons, some of the guys he gave second chances to, really didn't deserve them. Well, anyways. The episode ended with everybody holding Junie back and telling him to calm the hell down. I'm pretty sure he's going home, next episode. He damn well better. The guy's nothing but trailor-park trash. How many times is Dana gonna let him act like a complete jack-ass? Even better, maybe Dana will make him fight next, because I know there's not one person on Team Nogueira that can't beat him. He's pissed off a lot of people in the house. Especially on Team Nogueira. I've noticed that the coaches aren't seen as much as the last two seasons. That's because there's no entertainment there. The entertainment's Junie acting like an ass and the rest of team retaliating. I know this will sound alarming, but I'd love to see Matt Serra and Matt Hughes coach from opposite sides again. I'd love to see Matt Serra humiliate Hughes again. The asshole deserves it. In fact, I heard from his own mouth that he may have two or three more fights left in him, then he's retiring. Let's see...George St. Pierre beat him again, last year. So, he's looking at only one or two more fights. I hope Serra's his last fight. I know Matt Serra can beat him.

High School in 2003.

Team Nogueira drew first blood with their win over Team Mir, this week. There's one guy on Team Mir that's most likely going to get a lot of the attention. His name's Junie Browning. He got hammered on the first night and did a full circle of emotions. He went from being all happy, to being pissed off, then depressed. He grew up in a trailor park and for the most part, looks like a punk. The guy's a loose cannon. I got ten bucks that says he'll get kicked out before the season's over. I went home, this weekend. I stopped by BCC to see my friends, but there wasn't hardly any there. I wanna go home two weeks from now, so Stacey and I can hang out. I'm not sure how well that's gonna work out. Worse case scenario, I just see her over my Thanksgiving break. As for hanging out with Christina, that's gonna be a bit harder. If I had some way of getting to Binghamton and back to Cortland for a night, it wouldn't be a problem. For the time being, I'll just give her a call once a week. I'm gonna try to hang out with a friend from high school, this week. Her name's Beth Hughes. No relation to Matt Hughes. In fact, Beth's a lot better than him. It's funny, because when she first moved to Harpursville, she couldn't stand me. I will admit that I wasn't the most pleasant person around her. Things changed as the years went on. We got along fine in 11th grade. 2003 was a fun year. I wouldn't say I was popular in high school, but everyone got along with me alright. As is the case with most high schools, the homecoming court is usually just a popularity contest. The same people are on it year after year. It gets boring. I knew a lot of good people that actually deserved to be on it, but they'd never be, because the popular crowd reigned supreme in that area. Luckily, I was on their good side. My friend Don Edwards approached me one morning. "Vote for you. Let's get some underdogs on, this year," he said. I expressed my concerns with it, but he assured me that I was good to go. "The entire football team's voting for you. It was our idea," he assured me. I thought nothing of it at the time, but I was showing off in gym one day and I did this taunt that a wrestler called Booker T does. It's this kind of break dancing move called the spin-a-roony. Some of the guys from the football team saw this and started laughing. They asked me to do it again, so I did. They encouraged me to do the spin-a-roony during the pep-rally. Hulk Hogan had returned to wrestling around this time too. He always rips his shirt off during his entrance. So, the football team wanted me to do that as well. Soon, the entire school was all in on it. I went to Broome Tioga BOCES in the afternoons, and that's when the pep-rally was. Fortunately, the Principal liked me. He helped me make it to the prom later on. The bus picked us up early. I headed to the gym and my grade gave me a short applause. Oh man, it was great. They were chanting my name throughout the entire thing. They saved my name for last when the 11th grade homecoming court was announced. When my name was called everyone jumped to their feet. Not just our grade, I mean EVERYONE. I did the spin-a-roony and ripped a shirt that I put over my Hulk Hogan T-shirt. I was led over to the others. The ones that were already over, were laughing hysterically. The female that was elected was Roxanna Rinker. She was a beautiful blonde girl. Obviously, the seniors were the ones that got the glory at the end. They're the ones that are voted in for Homecoming king and queen. Still, it was nice to be part of the homecoming court. After I danced with Roxanna, I ran into Beth and asked if she wanted to dance. She said sure and led me to where she was hanging with her friends. Then, she said she'd be right back. She had every intention of coming back, but her friends told her that all of them were leaving for Denny's. I didn't know this until Monday, but I was cool about it. Hell, I made it on the Homecoming Court. I had no reason to be upset. Later on, the prom was coming up. I didn't get to purchase a ticket in time. Luckily, there were guys that bought a ticket, but didnt' wanna go, because their girlfriend's dumped them. Since, I was well liked by the Principal, he helped me out there. He returned their money to them and sold me a ticket. I went stag, but it didn't bother me any. There were several girls that went alone too. So, it wasn't like I had no one to dance with. During the dinner portion of the prom, I was sitting at the same table as Beth. In fact, we were sitting across from each other. Out of nowhere, she asks me to dance with her just once. I was like, "it's funny you mention that. At homecoming, I asked this really hot girl in a purple dress to dance with me and she sort of...left before we could." She laughed and apologized again, but I told her it was cool. So, we did dance. Then, during the Prom court, everyone voted both of us court jesters. Even my English teacher said if he were to vote for anyone for Homecoming court, it would've been me. He loved picking on Beth, so that would've been his second choice. The school just went with that. After that, I started to have a small crush on Beth. I haven't seen her in a few years, but she's all for hanging out and catching up on things. So, I'll call her this week and see what day's good for her. I'm not 100% sure, but I think she's single now.

Regrets.

Seth came up to my college, this weekend. We hung out with Zimmer, Cummings, and Hopkins. I forgot that no matter where Seth stays, it ends up becoming a mess. I'm not a neat freak by any means, but come on now. The guy's a freakin' pig. Anyways, Friday we went drinking with Cummings and Hopkins. That wasn't too bad with the exception that I almost got into a street fight. I had the numbers advantage, but apparently, Hopkins doesn't think so. He claims there were two more guys circling around me. Personally, I think he had double vision, because there were only two guys and only one of them was running his mouth. Forget that, though. That was a five minute deal and nothing went down. Before that even happened, I drunk dialed some of my friends. I only got a hold of one, which lasted five minutes. I apologized to her, yesterday. The rest of the weekend wasn't anything special. My roommate came back, yesterday and this time, he didn't have a sling on his arm. I started to think about all the conversations that we've had about girls and I realized two things. The first one being that I have bad taste and the second one being that I have the worst luck with them. I didn't get my first girlfriend until 9th grade. That was stupid, because there was no love there. It was just getting a girlfriend for the sake of getting a girlfriend. I was in way over my head. There were girls in high school that liked me, but I didn't feel the same way. There were a couple exceptions, though. Ashley started to become attracted to me around our senior year. Back then, I was the man. Hell, I was just being my old, smart-ass self, but it made her smile and that meant the world to her. But, I was immature back then. I had no interest in getting a girlfriend then. By the time I was, it was too late. I still remember the pain. Then, she dumped her boyfriend, but started to date another. She started treating me horribly. Her boyfriend and I hated each other for the longest time. Even when she broke up with him. Hell, I was still getting mistreated. Finally, I wrote her an e-mail explaining how I felt. She stopped treating me badly and started acting like a friend. We became close again. Sometimes, I still read the letters that she wrote to me back in 2004 and 2005. I usually read them when I need to be reminded of who I am. We were extremely close, back then. Then, Larry entered the picture. At first, things were still good. Then, it was whatever Larry wanted. Whatever might upset Larry, had to go. So, although we've tried hundreds of times, things haven't and never will be like they were. I can accept that. It just amazes me that two people as close as Ashley and I were...are now almost strangers to one another. Ok, moving on. Making out with this nasty chick at a bar wasn't really a wise move on my part. That just screams out desperate. Believe me, I was. In 2007, it looked like there was a light at the other end of the tunnel. In February, I got my second girlfriend. However, it was short-lived. She dumped me three days after I asked her out. She has a lot of issues. I don't really talk to her anymore. Then, in 2008, I started going to the bars. I met a 28 year old there, but that's pretty-much a dead-end. Actually, if I could go back, I definately wouldn't have been at that particular bar on that night. Around the same time, I met Denna. At first, I thought Denna was incredible. I thought she could do no wrong. Man, did I get taken for a ride on that one. She basically cheated on her fiance with me. It was only when certain people got involved with our business that she stopped. In fact, she avoided me like the plague for a few weeks. She talks to me once and a while, now. But, at the end of the day, she's disloyal to whoever she's around. I skipped ahead a bit. There was one more girl during my senior year. I was hanging out with some of my boys, during the night of one of our wrestling matches. We still had a few hours before we had to be in the locker room, so we were just hanging out in the hallway. This blonde JV Cheerleader approached us and started to give the guys hugs. "These are for luck," she explained. She hugged me and I was just being a smart-ass and said, "how about a kiss?" Without missing a beat, she gave me a peck on the cheek. She hung out with us until it was time for us to get ready. I did lose my match, but it was one of my best ones. I only lost by three points. The next few weeks after the match, I'd see her occassionally. I was heading to study hall one day and she was standing next door. She playfully slapped my arm and said "you never say hi to me, when you see me,". I apologized and assured her that I would from now on. Her next words caught me off guard a bit. "Um...do you think I could call you, sometime?" she asked. I said sure and gave her my number. I was living with my grandparents at the time. It was a Friday and I was visiting my parents on the weekends. I told her to call on Monday, because I'd be home. Before she called me, she gave me a note. Apparently, she did some background info on me. Her foster mom used to be my bus driver. In fact, she was my favorite bus driver. So, she heard a lot of good things. She called me every night. Her older sister was in my grade. In fact, I think she liked me too. I was friends with the Varsity Cheerleaders, so it wasn't hard to get some info on this girl. Her name's Christina and around that time, she was 14 years old. Now, you see the problem. I was 18 and about to graduate high school. On Valentine's Day, Christina gave me a heart-shaped tin box. Inside, was a lot of hard candy and a small gold box wrapped in a red ribbon. I opened the gold box and there was more hard candy. At the bottom of the gold box, was a wallet size picture of her taped at the bottom. I couldn't get the tape off, so I ended up throwing that out. Christina was a pretty girl, but the age thing made me uncomfortable. One day, she was trying to get my attention. "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" I snapped. She laughed nervously and said hi. I said hi, gruffly and went back to ignoring her. I ignored her for the rest of the year. We'd pass each other in the hall. I'd glance at her, but quickly turn my eyes away. She'd always have the same look on her face. She'd bite her bottom lip and gaze at me. I'm no mind-reader, but I'm pretty sure I could've guessed what she was thinking. "If only he'd talk to me again." I feel bad, now. I wish I handled things differently. In 2005, I ran into her at the homecoming dance. I went over to talk to her. She asked me to save a dance for her. I went with Stacey, but she was cool about it. I danced with Stacey a few times. Then, I scanned the crowd looking for Christina. When I found her, we danced. I apologized for my actions and explained why I acted the way I did. She said it was alright. I still have a picture of us from that dance. I see her once in a while. Christina's definitely a sweetheart. Not once did she ever show any malice towards me and believe me, I deserved it. She never had any hatred in her eyes whenever she glanced at me. There was sadness, though. Christina's now 19 years old. She's just as beautiful now as she was back then. But, she works two jobs and has a boyfriend. Just like with Ashley, it's too late. I'm 23 years old. If Christina and I were going out, no one would say a word. Back then, everyone and their brother would've ridiculed us. I'll admit straight up that if I had the chance, I'd date Christina in a heart beat. I called her, yesterday. She said that she was very busy, but to call her on Tuesdays or Thursdays when she's not busy. I'm gonna call her, tomorrow and see if she'd possibly hang out with me sometime. I haven't really been a good friend to her, but it's never too late to start. Even though she accepted my apology, it's not enough. I know I can be better than that. Back in high school, she said that even if we didn't date, she still wanted me as a friend. It's about time I granted that wish.

Taking It Back

I'm kind of burnt out right now, but I'm gonna do my best. First of all, last Wednesday was my birthday. Yay, 23 years old and another year closer to death. Ok, I'm just kidding about the death part. I called up Zimmer and Cummings that night. Zimmer was busy, but Shaun and James came to get me. We played cards and drank for a few hours. It was a fun time. UFC started last week. They're doing the same thing this time around as last time. There were fights just to get in the house. They're over now, so the real fun begins next week. I went home last weekend and my parents spoiled the HELL out of me. I visited my old college last Friday. I saw Nate, but I ignored him for the most part. It turns out that he's not too fond of me anyways. Well, I never gave him a reason to dislike me, but if he wants one, I'd be more than happy to give him one. He's an asshole, so screw him. I had three tests, this week. Two of them didn't go well. That's why I'm burnt out, right now. I need to do well on the remaining ones and I'll be fine. Today, I had a presentation. It was a group thing, so it wasn't just me. This one girl was stupid as hell. She's a bossy little bitch too. Well, when it was my turn to present my part, she butted in rather rudely. That pissed me off to no end. I came very close to saying: "know your place and shut up!" I didn't, because that would've been sexus and assholish. Last night, I went on this "take back the night" walk. We walked around the town of Cortland protesting against rape. During the walk, I had a flashback of something that happened in 2006. I remember waiting for my mom to come get me from college. I ran into Cody and he invited me to Will Wallack's party. I went to that and got completely hammered. Too hammered actually. I puked my guts out, that night. I have a good friend by the name of Ric Keiser. When he went to BCC, him and I were tight. He had this scary, slutty girlfriend in 2006. She was also at the party, but he had to work. Anyways, her and I took the same bedroom. She was more drunk than I was. She kissed my neck a lot. She also undid my belt. I went back out to the living room asking for someone to take care of her for me. Someone did go in, but I ended up back in the room with her. I finally drifted off to sleep when I heard Scott Hoyt come in the room. Throughout the entire night, Hoyt kept giving me a condom. He said I needed it more than I did. I kept throwing it back at him, saying I wasn't going to do anything. At this point, Hoyt thought he was a ladies' man that could touch whatever and whoever he wanted. Truth be told, he was just a pathetic schmuck. Well, he climbed in bed with the two of us and I heard kissing noises. I told them to keep it down and Keiser's girlfriend kicked me to the floor. So, I left the room. What happened next, only Hoyt knows. I DO know that she doesn't remember doing anything and if it hadn't been for my recollection of the night, she'd never have known. I've been kicking myself about this for years, now. I know I could've done more. It can't be proven, but I still think something happened in that room. I had to be the one to tell Keiser what happened. The poor guy had a breakdown right there on the spot. I felt worse than I've ever felt. Keiser never blamed me for anything. In fact, he said I was a good friend and thanked me. Still, I know I could've done something about it. I get so pissed off when the people that WEREN'T at the party say: "If I was there, I'd have grabbed Hoyt by the back of his neck and thrown him out of that room." They wouldn't have done anything. They'd have been passed out drunk in the living room with the others. That's how the rest of them were. Next time something like this happens, I'm going to do something about it. No more being a coward. I'm gonna do the right thing, next time.

A New Enemy

Robin called me three times on Saturday. Her and Kara were hanging out while I was stuck at Cortland. Around 8:00 at night, Robin had called me for the third time. Even though I had talked to Kara last week, I still asked Robin how she was doing. Her answer took me off guard. A guy by the name of Nate Boyce got angry at Kara and as a result, he punched her in the knee about four or five times. Before I continue with the story, let me give you a little background on this guy. I met him during my last month at BCC. Denna and I were always hanging around back then. We were just being our playful selves one day, when he came over to us. "Wow, you're a fighter. That's awesome! We'll have to spar someday," Nate told Denna. Now, that sounds innocent enough. At first, I didn't have a problem with him. But, then he started hanging around Denna and myself quite a bit. Every time, he'd get in a fighter's stance and start tagging her with rights and lefts. Sometimes, Denna would go along with it, but there were times that Denna would say, "Alright, that's enough." But, he wouldn't stop. "There's no such thing as enough," he'd say and he'd keep doing what he was doing. Every time Denna was around, he'd have his hands all over her one way or another. I'd glare at him from where ever I was. It was pissing me off that he was trying to steal my thunder. He had this attitude that he could do whatever he wanted. Especially, when it came to girls. Anyways, he'd flirt with Denna all the time and he'd try to blow up my spot. First of all, I don't take too kindly to that. That's really low in my opinion. At one point, when he was messing around with Denna, he almost pulled her arm out of socket. She punched him hard and went over to the other side of the room. I was about to do something about it, but Denna gave me a look. Ever since Nate saw Denna and I playing around, he became attracted to her. The interesting part was that Denna at the time was engaged. Denna knew that I was becoming more and more jealous each day. One Friday, she came to hang out with me at my work. When she came through the door, the first sentence she said to me was, "don't hate me. I just see Nate as a friend and nothing more." I never said anything to Denna about her and Nate, but it was obvious enough that I didn't like it. I told her that I'd try to be cool with everything. Then, she said that if she wasn't engaged, the person she'd be with, would be me. We hung out and everything was cool. There was one day that my anger got the best of me. Denna and I were supposed to hang out. She called me up to ask me to call Bridgette. She wanted me to tell Bridgette not to come for another hour. I said that I really didn't wanna talk to Bridgette if I could help it. Denna got pissed and told me to just forget it. Around this time, Kelcie had just started going out with Cody. I was hanging out with her, then she asked if I wanted to go get something to eat and hang at her house. As we were leaving, my cell phone rang. It was Nate wondering where Kelcie and I were going. I told him not to worry about it. Denna called me later that day, wondering where I was. When I told her, she got jealous. I had to come back to college for my last class. After the class was done, I went to see Denna. She was on the phone, so I waited. Bridgette started to talk to me about how I should've hung out with Denna. I got pissed off for two reasons. One...I did nothing wrong. Two...I can't stand Bridgette and didn't want her getting involved with MY business. Next thing I know, Denna's screaming at me, Bridgette's putting in her two cents, and I'm about to flip out. That's what happens. I scream at Bridgette to stay out of my business, then this other guy that I can't stand gets involved. I scream at him to shut the hell up. He stands up grinning with his arms out. I felt provoked, so I sprung out of my chair and swung at him. Nate got between us and I stormed out of the building. Denna chased after me. Mainly, to apologize for everything. I calmed down and gave her a big hug to let her know everything was alright. Nate did confess to me that he had an affection for Denna and he "knew my pain." The fact is that Nate had no chance in hell with her. Also, it wasn't just Denna that he'd try to get with. It seemed like any girl I was hanging out with, he'd try to blow up my spot regardless if he had a chance or not. as for Denna, if it weren't for her fiance, her and I would probably be dating. In fact, let me get all of this off my chest while I'm in the right mood. I'm not proud of what Denna and I did behind her fiance's back, but I have no regrets. Denna and I are still friends and we still talk at least once a week. However, I think she's made several stupid decisions. Her wedding on the fourth of July was ridiculous. The fact that she moved to Kansas, I find ridiculous. Overall, I don't think her marriage will last. She's just as guilty as I am for everything we've done, this year. However, whenever I'd confront those issues, she'd get pissed off and shut down. Although, I have no hatred or angry feelings towards her, I still think she has a lot of growing up to do. She just couldn't admit that what we were doing was wrong. She only stopped acting this way after our friends started to get involved. Alright, That's about it and that pretty-much covers the background story on Nate. Now, here's what I heard happened. Nate was being his usual jackass self and Kara asked him to stop. He didn't stop and had his feet on her. She pushed his feet off her and he got pissed. So, he punched her in the knee four or five times. When I heard that Nate had done this, rage fueled my body. Kara's an amazing person. In fact, the world could use more people like her. For some asshole to lay a hand on her, just makes my blood boil. Unfortunately, I'm at Cortland. It's not like I could just go to BCC on Monday to take care of this. Luckily, there was something I could do. I gave my boys, Dan and Chris a call. They assured me that they'd have a talk with this asshole for me. I'm going home this weekend, so I plan on stopping up to BCC on Friday. I will admit that I'm hoping to run into Nate, so that I can also talk to him. There's also a few people that I wanna see, because I miss them. I did talk to Kara to see if she was alright. She says that she is, but I think that she'd feel a lot better if she saw me. With my friends, it's like this. I'm close to about 98% of my friends to the point that they're not really friends. They're family. I'm half-Italian, so family means a lot to me. If you mess with my family, there will be consequences. Especially if it's a man hitting a girl.

Two Fun Weekends

I went to that Independent show with Keith Zimmer and Shaun Cummings on Saturday. Before the show, I hung out with Cody and Kelcie for a couple of hours. Then, I met my parents for dinner before going to the show. This one was called ECPW. Now, Keith and Shaun are my boys, but they have this habit of trying to make themselves more important than they really are. Especially when it comes to pro wrestling. Keith was bragging for months that ECPW had a lot of big stars involved. He acted like he was the booker for the entire thing. Well, the fact of the matter is this. Keith isn't as important to ECPW as he thinks. Basically, the actual booker tells Keith to do this or that and Keith does it. Some of these jobs are to collect tickets, get water or beer for the wrestlers, help them find their hotel, stuff like that. Stuff that anybody with two hands and a brain can do. As far as their big stars go. There was a former WWE wrestler called Nunzio at the event. He was nice and signed for me, but that was their only big star that night. ECPW lost a ton of money putting on that show for Binghamton. Only 99 people showed up. Also, the ring looked to be in poor condition. The canvas was taped up due to all the rips it suffered. Their sound system was also a problem due to the fact that they really didn't have one. They used a CD player and a microphone. Long story short, it was unorganized and poorly performed. It was unprofessional. Keith's lips are planted on the booker's ass 24/7 and I don't really see what's so special about the booker at all. Keith's a good guy, but I honestly don't see ECPW going anywhere. The wrestlers themselves were good. They were extremely nice too. Keith, Shaun, and some of the guys that performed that night went out to dinner with us. Keith covered me, which I appreciated. We ended up coming back to Cortland at 3:30 in the morning. The next day, I did my thing and returned to the room later on. When I did, the first thing I noticed was that my roommate had a sling on. He separated his shoulder during his football game. It's gotten better, since then, but he couldn't play in his game, today. My grandmother sent me some money, so I could do my laundry. I also finally gave in and told my dad that I was in desperate need of cash. He said no problem and put some money in my account. So, I went out drinking with Keith, Shaun, and their friend, James who also went to the ECPW show. I noticed a few perks when hanging out with Keith and his friends. The important one being that they usually have a couple pretty and single girls around. Going to the bars in Cortland is no different than going to the bars in Binghamton. Except for the fact that beer is cheaper in Cortland. Usually, when I go out to a bar, I'm looking to hook up with someone. Nine times out of ten, that usually doesn't happen. However, it's especially hard to do that when Shaun's fat ass is being loud and degrading the girls around us. So, I didn't have any success with that, last night. Sometimes, going out by myself benefits me better. The Ultimate Fighter: Season 8 starts this Wednesday on my birthday. Speaking of UFC, Brock Lesnar's fighting my favorite UFC fighter, Randy Coture. That's not until November, though.

Could've Been Better

I ended up going to Candor for the weekend. Seth called me up around 1:00 in the afternoon. Him and his family were going to the New York State fair and they had an extra ticket. They picked me up at the college. I met Danny's girlfriend's cousin and her boyfriend. Sadly her boyfriend's a douche bag. Nobody in the family likes him. I didn't see anything wrong with him at first, but then he flipped out over something stupid and I saw their point. Anyways, Seth's mom asked if I'd like to stay over at Candor for the rest of the weekend. I jumped at the opportunity. I hadn't been in Candor in months. We got back to Candor a little after 11:30 at night. Seth's brother and Marcy came home shortly after us. I could tell Marcy missed me. She smiled brightly and gave me a big hug. The next night, we went to this drive-in movie theater. The movies that I chose to watch weren't that good. Also, I prefer a regular movie theater. There's less distractions. So, that was kind of a bust, but whatever. It got me off the college and saved me from what could've possibly been a boring weekend. Labor day was nothing special. I came back to the college and just watched TV. Still, my labor day was better than my roommate's. His girlfriend's been jealous of his good friend, Kristi. Kristi was the first person I met at Cortland. She's a nice girl. Anyways, she has a thing for my roommate, Joe and she admitted it last week. Joe doesn't like confrontation, so he's been hanging out with Kristi at nights. He finally told his girlfriend about it and she wasn't too happy. He's been sucking up to her all week and now he's avoiding Kristi. He did nothing wrong from my point of view, but when I discussed this with Robin, she basically said, "He had to have done something wrong if he was sneaking around." So, I really don't know who's in the right. Also, Cody's girlfriend, Kelcie's upset that she's gonna lose him. Kelcie's already thinking about the future and her dream is to get a degree in film, then move to California. Well, Cody wants to stay in New York. He basically said that when she moves, their relationship will be over. I think he's being a stubborn bastard, but that's just me. Basically, this week could've been better for a number of reasons. This weekend, I'll be in the Binghamton area. I'm gonna check out that Indy show, then I'm coming back to Cortland later that night. Sunday, I'm gonna TRY to see Unforgiven. It's not looking good at the moment, though. Worst case scenario, I wait for the DVD to come out.

My First Week at Cortland.

I arrived at Cortland on Thursday afternoon. It wasn't too bad. My orientation went pretty fast. I had the room to myself for a couple days. There were only a few meetings that I had to go to, but for the most part, I had a lot of free time on my hands. Sunday, my roommate arrived. He's a nice guy. He plays football on the weekends. So far, my experience at Cortland has been a hell of a lot better than my summer at Hancock. Hell, it's been a hell of a lot better than my time at BCC. Speaking of which, only Chris and Dan are representin' over there. I met a few people over here. There's this Australian girl named Jess. I haven't gotten to know her real well yet, but it's still early. The professors are really easy going over here. Hell, the entire college is. BCC only cared about money. If you couldn't pay up, then it sucked to be you. Cortland's better than that. This weekend's labor day weekend. I'm not going home this weekend, but I will be in the Binghamton area next weekend. Next week, I'm gonna check out the college's clubs and stuff. Also, I'll apply for a job on the campus. The only downside so far is that I'm still poor as hell. I wanna change that...FAST! My dad gave me SOME money, but it's slowly starting to run out. I would've had more if I realized my meal plan was activated two days before my roommate arrived. Even though my dad said to call him when I was running low, I don't wanna have to make that phone call until at least October. My birthday's coming up in a few weeks, so I'll be asking for money around that time. Overall, things have been good. A lot better than the past couple weeks. Actually, ever since I left Hancock, I've felt really good. Maybe it's because I'm around people that I'm comfortable around. So far, the people at Cortland are alright. Then again, they don't know too much about me. The important thing is my roommate doesn't have a problem with my beliefs or interests. That's the main thing, because I'm stuck in a room with him for a year. I have been keeping up with my friends in Binghamton. They're doing alright for the most part. I don't feel as isolated as I did when I was in Hancock. Maybe it's because there's actually things to do around here. I haven't gotten hammered in Cortland yet, but it's still early. I'll probably get hammered next Saturday when I'm in the area.

Busy As Hell

I have one more day until I head to Cortland. This past weekend was fun. Friday, Cody and Kelcie came over to Danny's and we had a few shots of whiskey and Captain Morgan. It doesn't take much to get Kelcie drunk. They didn't stay long. In fact, they had a few shots and left. The next day, I was walking around, when I saw a big maroon van honking at me. It pulled over and the guys that I worked with stepped out of it. Man, that was a shocker. They were the last guys I'd expect to run into. So, all of us headed to the mall. I ran into a few more people I knew. Some of them are going to Cortland as well. I was poor as hell, so I didn't buy anything that wasn't food. It was nice to see them. That reminds me. I ended up getting a facebook, because so many people asked if I had one. Technically, I have a myspace too, but I never use it. I like facebook better. As soon as I figure it out, there'll be a link on the sidebar of this thing, so you all can access it. I'll get some pictures up there as soon as my friends e-mail me the ones they have. Saturday night wasn't anything special. Seth called me up, because he was in the area. I met him at this cafe. His mom got us desert. After that, I headed back to Danny's. We just hung out the rest of the night. Sunday, I went to church, because I haven't been there in a while. Of course I saw Ashley and she surprised me in a way. She was actually kind of nice to me. She's starting a new job, but she said we'd hang out sometime. I found out the reason why she's having a change of heart. She talked to her ex-boyfriend (my friend) Matt Ditch. I talked to Ditch online and asked him to check out her blog to see if it was just me or was she taking cheap shots at me. He confirmed that it was indeed a cheap shot. I guess they talked online too. I don't know what he said, but I'm sure he let her know that he didn't think it was right. I'm no saint by any means. I've done some things I'm not proud of and I apologized for them. I don't attack anyone unless they attack me. Unless I really hate them, then I attack the hell out of them. The rest of that day, I hung out with Robin. I was hoping that I'd be able to hang out with some of my other friends like Stephanie, Amanda, Felicia and Kara. Monday, I found out my grandfather's back in the hospital. Great...just freakin' great. It doesn't help that I'm leaving tomorrow. There's nothing I can do about it, which just makes it worse. If I could put off leaving for college, I would. I'm not 10,000 miles away, but I'm still pretty far. Tuesday, my best friend from High School stopped by the house. He joined the army in 2003. He signed up for another 4 or 5 years. He hasn't changed much. We went out to dinner, yesterday. He's a friend of the family. Tom's one of the few of my friends that my dad not only tolerates, but he likes. That's a big deal, because my dad doesn't like a good majority of the friends that I've brought to the house. I have good friends, but there's a couple that need to work on a few things...like people skills. Today, I finished everything that I need for Cortland. Then, tomorrow I head over there in the afternoon. Part of me wants to go, the other part wants to stay home. I might as well go, because most of my friends will be heading back to college soon as well. Some I'll see over there.

All This Pressure.

This week has sucked for the most part. I had to pay part of my college tuition, which I was barely able to do. The part that sucks is that I'm damn-near broke from it. I probably should've stayed home this weekend, but I'm a stubborn s.o.b. Thanks to my dad, I have enough to get me through the weekend. The last thing I need to do before leaving for Cortland is get immunization shots. I'm not sure how well that's gonna work out. My doctor's on vacation for a few weeks. My parents are trying to get me in earlier than what was suggested. This past Wednesday, I had this stress-caused head ache. That's the first time I've ever gotten a head ache due to stress. The worst part was that I still had it yesterday morning. I took an aspirin and went back to bed. I woke up a couple hours later and the head ache was gone. Then, I drained what I could out of my bank account. My friend, Cory came by in the late afternoon. He asked if I wanted to go out. I sadly told him that I only had $3.00 in my wallet. He just waved a hand and said he got it. Before we left, my dad came home. He said he might stop at the bar later if we were there. That's what he did. He gave me some cash to last me the night. I only used half of it and the other half will get me through the weekend. I'll pay him back next week. He's not the only one that I owe money to. I still have to pay Robin back for Mother's Day. Henry owes me money, but he's an idiot and on top of that, he's unemployed. I swear...if I catch him buying anything, I'm adding on a $20 stupidity fee. Tonight, I'm gonna be drinking with Cody, Kelcie, and Danny. Saturday, I don't necessarily have plans, but there's still a few people that I haven't seen, since I came home. Sunday's the reason why I came to Binghamton in the first place. WWE Summer Slam's this Sunday. I'm supposed to pay for pizza. I'm gonna ask Danny if he can help out with that. Man, being poor sucks. One good thing about going to Cortland will be that I can find a job while I'm there. Dad's giving me some cash before I go up there, because he couldn't get me a plane ticket last month. It won't last though, because I still need to pay for the freakin' books. Last night helped relieve a lot to the stess I was dealing with, this week. I ran into several people that I went to school with. The best part is that I woke up without a hang over. I plan on having as much fun as possible, this weekend. Because I don't think next week will be any better.

It's Good To Be Home

When I was saying good bye to my friends at French Woods, a lot of them asked if I had a facebook. I didn't have one at the time, but my roommate from Cortland called me, today. I never met him, but we discussed our living arangements. He seems cool enough. Well, he has a facebook and asked if I had one. So, today I made one. I found a lot of people from my high school. I technically have a myspace too, but I hate it. So, I never use it. I have a picture of me and Denna up as my profile picture. Speaking of her, she left for Kansas last week. That's fine and everything, but she forgot to say good bye to someone....ME! To add to my amusement, I took a look at Ashley's blog and I may have found another cheap shot. "I hate it when people act like jerks then say they're my best friend." Um...I haven't done that one in a while, so I'm not sure. Either way, I'm better than her. Everyone knows it. I have so many friends, I lost count. Ashley can count HER friends on one hand. Ok, enough slandering on my end. So far, things have been much better, since returning home. At the WWE Show, I got Big Show's autograph. Believe me, it wasn't easy. He was swamped with fans. Friday, I'm gonna be drinking with Cody, Kelcie, and Danny. Just like we did back when I was at BCC. The difference is that certain people won't be there *cough* DENNNA *cough*. Oh well, I'll just have to deal. Tomorrow, I'm supposed to go drinking with an old school friend of mine. That is if he remembers to pick me up. The thing is that he plans on coming around 2:30 in the afternoon. So, by the time I get home, I'm gonna be so blitzed. I'll need all of Thursday to recover by Friday.

Coming Home...Finally.

I can't begin to describe how good it feels to be home. The experience overall wasn't a bad one, but I'm never going back to French Woods if I can help it. I made the same promise when I left my summer job last year. The last two days of my job weren't too bad. My last night over there, the guys and I went to the movies. I ended up seeing Dark Knight for the second time, because I promised my mom that we'd see the new Mummy movie when I came home. My last day, I spent most of it looking for people I have met and wanted to keep in touch with. Ben, who works for Scott at the computer lab over there, helped me out. He printed up three sheets of my contact info. I cut them out and handed them out. After many hugs, handshakes, and best wishes, I hurried back to the house, finished throwing the rest of my stuff in my bags, and waited for my dad. He took me to one of the bars in Harpursville before we made it home. Tuesday, not to be outdone by my friend, Stacey as the first one to see me, Robin and Johnny stopped by for a bit. Then, Stacey came over. Man, it was good to see them again. Wednesday, I stopped by to see a few friends. My friend, Stephanie came home before I did. She'd been in Florida, doing a Disney intership for 8 months for college credit. We've been friends for about 3-4 years, but we didn't get to know each other until spring of 2007. I called her when she was in Florida a few times. I thought I was being a bit extreme until I left home. My phone calls must have been a huge comfort while she was away. Her and I might hang out, next week. I stopped by to see Danny after that. I'm taking him to watch wrestling, this Sunday. Yesterday, Robin, Johnny, my mom, and myself went to see the Mummy movie. It wasn't too bad, but it seemed like the entire story was rushed. As far as the weekend goes, today I did absolutely nothing. Tomorrow, I'm going to Robin's graduation party. Sunday, My mom and I are going to my aunt and uncle's cottage in Windsor, then Danny and I are going to watch wrestling. I'll probably try to visit a few more of my friends while I'm there. Next week, I don't really have anything going on. Basically, I'm just trying to see as many of my friends that I can before I leave again. I have a feeling that Cortland will be different than the camp. I have a feeling it will be much better. Although, the people at the camp weren't bad people, they didn't really make me feel at home. I was the outsider and that's how it stayed the entire time. If anyone were to come to Harpursville or Binghamton and hung around my friends, we'd make them feel like they're one of us. A lot of people that live in Harpursville and Binghamton complain about the lack of entertainment, but overall, I'd rather be here than anywhere else in the world. This is my home. No matter where I go. No matter where I move. This will forever be my home.

Week From Hell.

It's usually at BCC that the week from hell arrives. Not this time. This time, the week from hell happened at French Woods. Ever since coming back from Binghamton, it's been a freakin' nightmare. I had to deal with internet egotists Monday and Tuesday, my boss has been on my ass, I threw a goodbye party for all the new friends I had made over the summer, which got out of control, and it ended with Scott Schaefer coming back to the house the next day BEFORE I COULD CLEAN IT UP! So, yeah my week sucked. Here's what I could've and should've done differently to have made this week go by smoother. I should've ignored the internet egotists, I shouldn't of had a goodbye party at all, but if I must, then it should've been AFTER the family weekend. The party's the biggest thing that's been bothering me. Overall, it was a great party. However, there were people that got out of control. Some things got broken, the place ended up a huge mess like always, it could've gone much smoother. What I should've done, was taken yesterday off from work to clean up the house. Sure, I'd probably still have gotten a lecture from Scott, but it wouldn't have been that bad. Actually, I think everything is fine, today. I cleaned the house to the best of my ability and I apologized countlessly to Scott. I don't know if the storm has passed yet, he hasn't come back to the house. Part of me is wishing I was home already. Hell, part of me wants to go home tomorrow. I won't...but part of me wants to. Instead, I'll suck it up for the next two days. I doubt Scott'll stick around after tonight. Him and April will stay at the house tonight, but I'm pretty sure all of them will leave tomorrow. I'm gonna pack my stuff up, tomorrow, thank Scott for helping me with the job and letting me stay at the house, tomorrow, and enjoying my last night at camp, tomorrow. On Monday, while I'm working, I'll say goodbye to the people that demanded that I see them before I leave. It's gonna feel so good to be home on Monday. I'll probably go back to watching wrestling that night. Hell, I'll go back to doing everything that night. I've already alerted my friends that I'm coming home and I'm already making plans to hang out with them. First one on my list is Stacey. She had her baby, so it'll be no problem for her to come hang out. Denna's next followed by Stephanie. I'll probably hang out in Binghamton one more time before college starts up. I may have brought this up before, but I'm curious to see if I'll be accepted. In Hancock, the locals that worked at the camp treated me like an outsider. They were nice to me, but they didn't make me feel at home. That was probably the hardest part of everything. It didn't feel like home, so it wasn't home. Even though I didn't grow up in Binghamton, it feels like home. I can't explain how good it felt to be back there, last weekend. It's a damn good thing that this is my last week or I'd probably go out of my mind. I'm waiting very impatiently for the next two days to go by. At least today's Saturday. Sunday's not gonna be too stressful. Monday's my last day, so I'll be grinning all day long. Well...until I have to say goodbye to everybody. There's gonna be a few people that I'll miss. Pretty-much anybody from Australia. Most of the maintenance crew, Meagan from Scotland, and a few others. Still, I need to do this. One of the guys from Russia in Maintenance had a heartbreaking look on his face when I told him I was leaving. There's a lot of people that don't want me to go. Some don't want me to go, because the parties will stop. Although, I'd probably have done away with those after this last one anyways. The rest don't want me to go, because they actually got to know me. Erin from Australia's been one of my biggest fans, since party #2. Hell, that's how I met her. She just showed up, not knowing a damn thing about me. Hell, that's how I met a lot of the people here. They didn't know me. They heard the word "party" and showed up. Parties #1 and #2 went smoothly. In fact, I picked up after party #1 all by myself. Party #3 I wish I never had. It just sucked. Party #4 was great, but I wish I went about things more differently. I'd say overall, everything was alright. However, if I can find a job closer to home next year, I'll take it. If nothing else is available, I'd come back to French Woods. The rules of the house might be different next time, but it'd still be another fun summer.

Back in Binghamton.

Everybody's heard the phrase "You don't know what you have until it's gone." Well, I'm living proof of that sentence. Back in 2004, I lost my home temporarily. Luckily, we got it back. Then, that same year, I lost a potential girlfriend. We never dated, but the opportunity was there. Then just like that, it was gone. Now, I left my home to work somewhere else for the summer. When I returned to Binghamton this weekend, it felt great. Although, I didn't get to hang out with the people I originally wanted to, I still had a great time. Friday, I checked things out, then Edaniel and I went to a strip club with a guy from his work. We've never been to this one. It was ok, but it wasn't the best. I ended up getting two lap dances. The first one was pretty good. The poor girl was a single mother working two jobs. Whether it's true or not, I could care less. She was hot and she was nice, so I gave her a decent tip. The second lap dance was shorter than the first, but something happened. Before I go on, I'll just say that I'm a sucker for eyes. They say they're the window to the soul. With that being said, this girl had beautiful eyes and a nice smile. Her energy was incredible. So, we're in the back room and she does her thing. At one point, she gripped the back of my hair. Not to the point of pain, but it was a firm grip. I'm looking into her eyes, she's looking into mine. It hit a memory. March 30th, Wrestlemania night. Denna and I have the room to ourselves. While we're kissing, she grips my hair firmly. I'll admit that I miss her. My confidence soared whenever I was around her. I still have confidence in my abilities, but I miss hanging out with her. After the strip club, I went to bed. Saturday, I tried to catch up with my friends, but all of them were busy or I couldn't find them. I did run into that one girl from the bar back in February. I'm not sure if I ever talked about that. If I didn't, long story short, I was at a bar, this girl sat next to me, we talked, danced, made-out, stuff like that. Basically, she's a friend with benefits. I know that's the asshole way of putting it, but it fits. We hung out for a bit, then I took Henry, Danny, and Kyle to see 2CW. Man, that was intense. We were front row again. The last fight was a non-sanctioned 8 man tag. The bad guys won, which caused some drunken idiot to throw a chair. One of the heels saw this and said, "everybody get out of the way." We moved and he chased the guy out in the parking lot. It'll probably be on their website within a week. http://www.2cwwrestling.com for anybody that wants to check it out. After that, Danny and I headed back to his place. After a few hours, I went to bed. Today wasn't too bad. I didn't really wanna come back to Hancock, but it's my last week. Soon, it'll be all over. I'm not coming back here if I can help it. If I absolutely have to come back next summer, Seth's coming with me. I think if two people were living in this place, it might be better.

Where I Belong.

This whole experience in Hancock has really opened my eyes. There's been good days and bad days. Overall, I can't complain. But, there's still the whole not fitting in part that caught my attention. I've always prided myself on being a gentleman. For the most part, my friends have respected that about me. They don't care if I'm a virgin or how I dress. They've accepted me as one of their own. It's different in Hancock. The people have been alright, but they don't get me, so I feel like a damn outsider. Experiencing that has really made me miss my friends. This weekend, I returned to Binghamton, so I can see them. We're going to a 2CW show on Saturday followed by a strip joint. Friday, I'm gonna try to see two of my red-headed friends. Saturday morning, I'm gonna see what my good friend, Stephanie is up to and possibly hang out with her. She's been in Florida for 7 months and just got back last week. Sunday, I'll come back to Hancock and finish up my one week and two days. Until then, all I can do is count the days until Friday. Another thing that I've been thinking about is the stuff that happened between Denna and I. Ever since she's gotten married, I've been a bit bitter when I've seen her name on buddy list. I did care about her, but it seems like I got used. Then, THAT got me thinking of Ashley and me. I cared about her too. I never told the full story about Ashley and myself. It went something like this. She moved to my school when we were sophomores. Hell, I remember the first words she said to me. I was walking to class and she walked passed me, turned around and said, "duh, Jack." Then, she smiled at me and kept walking. We'd kid around a bit, but we didn't get real close until our senior year. She moved to live with her boyfriend from Chenango Forks. He started hitting her and verbally abusing her. She got pregnant and came back to Harpursville. I would just be my smartass self and she'd be hers. Things weren't going her way. She needed a good laugh and I would always provide it. It wasn't until our senior banquet that things started to heat up. She said that her and I needed to dance with each other at least once. "Take my breath away" came on and I found her, so we danced. Then, her mom dedicated a song to us. "Breathe" by Faith Hill. After that song, she smiled and gave me a peck on the cheek. On Monday, she hands me a note telling me how I've made her laugh and brightened up her days. She said I was her best friend. What she was really doing, was slowly building a relationship, so she could date me. Hell, she asked me online what I thought about that and I said the wrong thing. I was 18 and immature. It was a big mistake on my part. In August of 2004, we were hanging out and I just wrapped my arms around her. I was starting to come around. By the time I was ready, she found someone else. The pain was too much to bare. Then, she dumped that guy and dated another guy. Then, another and another and another and another. I stood by her through it all. She's with this one asshole now. He's a lot like the abusive prick in the beginning of this story. Because of him, she's grown distant. We've been off and on as friends. We're on talking terms right now, but we're still distant. She's been screwing up her life left and right. I'm pretty-much done with her. Still, it sucks that things happened the way they did. Now, as for Denna, that's a different story with the same ending. College started back up in January. Since then, she was studying me. Her eyes were always on me. Then, we finally talked, were attracted by each other, she got a boyfriend, then she cheated on him with me. She started growing distant towards me after the college semester ended. Now, she's screwing her life up left and right. Now, here's what's been going through my mind the last couple days. I've done a lot of growing up, since I was 18. I became the kind of man that I've always wanted to be. Everyone knows that I'm different from most guys. Hell, that's what they like about me. But, this thing that happened with Denna has me thinking. I'm not sure if I changed over this whole thing. I put some of my morals on hold when I was with Denna. We might not have been "officially" dating, but we were together a lot. I could just be paranoid and everyone else is changing while I stay the same. Honor, respect, and loyalty are very important to me. Friends and family are too, but those are my values. Technically, I didn't go against them when I was with Denna, so maybe I'm still the same guy. I'm gonna go with that. Mainly, because I'm tired. Glad I got that out of the way, though.

Friends Are Like Family.

The rest of the week went a little bit better. My cabin fever's starting to die out. It's due to a lot of things. I think the most important one was the phone call from my dad on Thursday. He's going to Florida in August and he wanted me to come too. So, I talked it over with my boss and I'll be joining him. That means I'll be leaving here in the first week of August. I just need to stick it out for four more weeks. It hasn't been incredibly horrible here, but I still want time to hang out with my friends and family before going to Cortland. So, I'll spend a week in Florida with my dad to visit family, then when we come back home, I'll spend a week and a half hanging out with my friends. Most of my friends are like family to me. Dan, Chris, Steve Clarke, Edaniel, Sarah Pierce, Robin, Johnny, Cody, Kelcie, and Seth's family are like my family too. There's probably more, but I don't have the time to list them all. I'm starting to get to know the counselors a bit more. Since, some of them have partied at the place I'm staying, I'm starting to become the guy where when they see me, they know where the party's at. Hell, I've had 5 people ask me when the next one is. It'll be a week and a half before I have another one and it'll be the last party that I can have, since I'm leaving early, but I plan on making it just as much fun as the last two. Hopefully, this week, I'll have two girls from the camp over here, so I can get to know them better. One of them will probably be over on my day off on Tuesday and I'm inviting the other over tomorrow if I can manage it. What really helped get me over my cabin fever, was Cody and Kelcie coming over for a short time, today. Cody's one of my best boys. Him and I have been there for each other A LOT! When Kelcie started dating Cody, she got to know me very well and it didn't take long for her to trust me. It's funny...she calls me like once a week just to see how I'm doing. Cody and I trust each other with our lives, so there's no mistrust there. Today, when they picked me up from the camp, I could've sworn that Kelcie's face lit up. She kept looking back and smiling brightly. We're like a family. I realized today, that Kelcie's like a sister to me and Cody's been like a brother for years. Anyways, Cody sat in the chair and Kelcie sat next to me on the couch and cuddled a little. It wasn't like Denna and me cuddling or Cody and Kelcie cuddling. It was comfortable. That and they haven't seen me in months and from what Denna told me online, they were missing me badly. April told me that Marcy was also missing me. These guys were so used to having me around that when I left for a few months, they definitely noticed I was gone. Anyways, while Cody and Kelcie were hanging with me at the house, it gave me a vision of what I want after college. Basically, a good job and a nice home where my friends could come over whenever they pleased and feel at home themselves. My dream has always been to be a writer in California. Driving a red or gold mercades convertable. Yeah, I know....I dream big. Someday, maybe the dream will be a reality. As for right now, I'm gonna stick it out for the next four weeks. Hopefully, Cody and Kelcie will make it up here one more time before I leave. Just having them over here for 45 minutes made me feel a lot better. Like I said before. We're a family. That's how it always will be.